(no subject)
you know whats wierd!? to finally get over someone...to finally let that person go and say ok even though you wanted only to be with that person a year ago...its never going to happen. Then something happens and you find yourself in the exact same place you were a year ago. totally smitten with this person and once again all you want is to be with that person. but then you remember the past and how that person hurt you. do you really want to put yourself through that again? is it worth it? what if it is? what if third time IS a charm? what if maybe this time that person sees you and actually wants to be with you? what would YOU do? would you give that person a third chance? or would you tell yourself its just not worth getting hurt again? would you risk everything for that person? would you risk the happiness you have so recently found to try to be with this person again? honestly what would you do?
so i found myself today...i did alot of thinking today. i really dont know what im going to do about all of this. i just wish i had some kind of guarantee that i wasnt going to get hurt again. i wish he would give me some kind of sign...just something it doesnt have to be big just some kind of sign to give me and inkling of his feelings for me. if he even has any. i think he does, but i cant be too sure. i just want a sign...just something. i need something to tell me that it will work this time. i think i tend to read into things way too much...and thats how i end up getting hurt. i dont want to rush into anything, but i would like to know what his intentions are. i just wish i knew. can you tell me something please?
on a lighter note... lol... we have yet another show this weekend..for some reason im not looking forward to it. but maybe just maybe this weekend will be differant. at least im hoping it will. hopefully it will run alot smoother. i just want to have a good rest of the season. i guess i want things to be more like they were last season... everything was just soo smooth and so perfect(except for the whole me not likeing a bunch of people that i happen to absolutly love this season) anyways... i just hope things get better. i need a job really bad so i can get the hell outa this damn house! lol that was random...well i guess im off for now...ill prolly update tomorrow and if not well then u will jus have to wait for monday...later kids!!!