You Will Believe In Me, & I Will Never Be Ignored.
Who do I have to justify my choice of clothing to people I don't know?
Lady- So are you over your goth phase yet? You seem to be.
Me- Uhhh.. yeah. I guess I am.
Lady- You looked so stupid and angry all the time. Why on earth did you do it?
Me- I don't really remember. (She laughs) Um. I was having a bit of a moment, I suppose.
Lady- Well, be prepared to have many other moments! I just hope none of them make you dress so ridiculously. How old are you?
Me: 20 in October.
Lady- *mumbles something about teenagers* How long did that moment last for?
Me- 3 years, I guess.
Lady- I for one am glad it's over. It's nice to see you dress in colour.
WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT?!
*HEADDESK*
I do not know this woman by name, only by face. She was at the Before & After School Care I go to on a Monday afternoon and apparently she knows me.
I have had a lot of people tell me how glad they are I don't wear the tie in Purple, green and brown dreads anymore, nor the knee high socks and thousands of Fuck Me bands and all that. They tell me they're happy that I'm don't look like I did anymore. Don't even get me started on how many people tell me they're glad I don't wear as much of my eyeliner and junk as I used to.
I don't know why I did it. I don't remember what was going through my head. I was merely obsessed with death and dying and decaying. I've blocked about 80% of those years out of my head entirely. But you know, why should I have to justify it? Why should I say to this lady that I was completely mentally fucked and I was mad and twisted and wanted to die? I shouldn't have to. I shouldn't have to at all.
Fuck off you stupid Mother Fucker. I don't know you and you don't know me.
1. I'm dying my hair red. With Henna. Well, that's the plan anyway. I want it to look like Kate Winslet's hair in Titanic. I love Kate Winslet. She's so beautiful. Does Henna work okay? My hair is already reddish, so it shouldn't be too bad.
2. I'm getting very excited about my party. I'm just worried we'll end up with 20 something spaghetti's and 60 cupcakes.
3. Ross Noble is one of the funniest people ever. I absolutely adore him and his silly little accent.
4. I've discovered a Corset maker called Lousie Black. She is really quite talented.
I've fallen in love with this one. http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=26174602
5. My brother last month decided to download every Eminem song individually off LimeWire. AND a lot of his videos. So, our internet which usually costs $99 has now ballooned to the insane price of $750. My mum has hit the roof and out internet time has been cut down but my brother doesn't get in trouble at all. There's so something wrong with that.
6. I'm going to see my shrink tomorrow. I haven't seen him in months. I need to write down all of the things that have happened. This should be interesting. I hope I don't cry. He's English. I'd feel a bit silly crying in front of him. Ugh, awkward.
7. I miss the HSC. I miss school. I miss work and assessments and learning things and getting graded. I miss having someone tell me what to do and that I'm doing the right thing. I liked catching the train home in the afternoon with my History books reading all about Caesar, Crassus, Pompey and the First Triumvirate. They were crazy bastards. I miss Lise getting excited about my photos and my book.
I'm sad.
8. I really love shoes. Way too much.
9. I want to go and do something with someone. Sit somewhere and talk about nothing and everything and drink tea and complain that I'm cold. Who wants to? (I'll even make you food!)
10. I think I should adopt children. Not now, obviously. But, I don't think I'd deal well with having a baby and everything that goes along with it. I'm too hypersensitive.