Reflections Part II
It's been a while since my last post. I'm just going to put it out there. I finally met the man who I had feelings for. Yes, "him." I went to England and we met up in York. I was nervous and excited. I even bought a new blouse to look nice despite it was going to be wet and rainy when we meet. So finally, we met up at the train station and he was tall and handsome. I was happy. As the day went on, I felt like he didn't really want to spend time with me. I think he only met up with me because he felt obligated or felt guilty for not seeing me last time I was in England. The way he treated me hurt my feelings and especially since he friendzoned me so thoroughly. He made his actions clear and showed me that we were only friends and that is the way it's going to be. The rejection was obvious and it does hurt. But to be honest I'm glad it happened I can move on and not wonder anymore. So it's the end. I don't even know if I still even want to be friends with him. This rejection is painful. I think he and I can be good for each other, but he made it plain that is not what he wants from me. I am accepting it. Being rejected isn't easy and my poor self esteem has taken even a bigger hit. I feel like men don't like me at all, like I'm unattractive. I guess I need time to heal and try to build up my self esteem again. I hope with time, men will not affect me or my emotions anymore. All I want now is time and maybe another vacation.