The Shadows

[aliceslalaland]

The shadows

There you stand
in the light
open eyes, open heart, open mind
I stand in the shadows with a hand over my heart
a hand wipes away the tears in my eyes.
I take a small step towards you.
You do not notice
the shadows conceal so much.
I tell you how I feel and hope the words will be enough.
I wait with bated breath, closed eyes
You turn
Should I stop you?
My mouth opens
I reach out a hand to you
offering you entrance
but you cannot see past the shadows.
I close my mouth, my hand falls limp by my side.
I say nothing as I see you walking away.
I just stand in the shadows and wonder.
I wonder as I see you in the distance
why?
Why must I hurt myself so?
Why must I invite pain like inviting an old friend into my home?
As the tears run down my face
no one sees
no one wonders
No one knows the real me, and maybe no one ever will, and maybe no one cares to know.
For the shadows envelope me.
As you walk away faster, I slip further back into my shadows
a hand covering my eyes
a hand clutching my heart.
I accept the old pains like a lover who has come home from a long trip.
They wrap around me like an old cloak, comforting.
You don't notice, no one ever does, for the shadows hide many things.
I continue down my path of shadows, continually looking into the light
but never leaving the safe confines of my pain.
The pain is not new to me and I am
I am......
........the shadows.