ode to a moment of greasy spineball pricks
Ok so. I randomly was persuaded by my self to go on lj and check it out.
ahah.
wooooo.
ive really been missing..um. a lot.
Don't you love those posts people do that describe their whole day in REALLY INTERESTING detail. I mean. Yeah.
So I'm a Senior in College. I think the last time I sincerely wrote in this was when I was a wee freshy. In that stinky dorm room I shared with Erica who would masturbate on the phone with her boyfriend who was still in high school. Good memories. But yes. finally on the fuckin way out. I'm beginning to think my whole family should leave the country. Both my sisters are kind of interested in living in Germany. Hell, that doesn't sound bad. Berlin for all of us. Maybe I'll become a true blue cabaret singer. And where can I find a decent guy? Haha, how many years and still lookin? Not like part of that isnt my own "fault". MM interesting read aint it? Well okay more on that ranty vein (..ew)-- even the good guys are often idiots/stuck in some wacko place. I dunno. I'm a girl with some love to give right now, and there doesn't seem to be anybody around who fits the bill. Even people I have had crushes on. Wtf. Was I just that desperate? Retrospect is an interesting emotional discussion with yourself. And what about writing? And college? ahaha. I feel like I'm just beginning to go to college, right now. Take a class I enjoy, read on it, open my fucking brain. So many people I know have their brains shut tight. Fuck. Or think they don't. Live in tightness. Who am I kidding though? I live in tightness. I had a scene showing today that was an absolute fucking mess. I just talked and talked and talked without being there at all. Wtf. And i could feel feeeel so clearly how at one point my fellow students were like....omg get it over with. So we worked on the scene afterwards. I realize some things about working with my scene partner that are difficult. But afterwards, I look some people in the eye and I see a pity. They thought I would be better, perhaps? Perhaps. I am. I think I am. I mean, I knwo when I'm crap. But I mentioned I was crap in class, and I saw one guy's face...and he looked suprised. Perhaps at my honesty? Or a little creeped out at my self berating.
Talk about people going on and on about their days.
Well in the end, this is all about the person writing isnt it? A livejournal-er does it mostly for themseleves. Atleast, that's what I think . Right now, at this moment. Sometimes writing can be amazing, and sometimes it can make you sick. Illness of the soul. I want to be a poet. Perhaps I am.
Perhaps is a great word that I am using a lot.
HAHA look at that rhyhtm I just used, that lilt-- "Perhaps I am"
don't you read that in a certain way?
i surely do
woah now
surely
whoo whoo
i love it
well, if this is getting a bit to abstract for some of my readers who have probably googled 12 things already, instead of reading this....i shall leave you alone.
au revoir
im not rereading this. so fuck it.
ahah.
wooooo.
ive really been missing..um. a lot.
Don't you love those posts people do that describe their whole day in REALLY INTERESTING detail. I mean. Yeah.
So I'm a Senior in College. I think the last time I sincerely wrote in this was when I was a wee freshy. In that stinky dorm room I shared with Erica who would masturbate on the phone with her boyfriend who was still in high school. Good memories. But yes. finally on the fuckin way out. I'm beginning to think my whole family should leave the country. Both my sisters are kind of interested in living in Germany. Hell, that doesn't sound bad. Berlin for all of us. Maybe I'll become a true blue cabaret singer. And where can I find a decent guy? Haha, how many years and still lookin? Not like part of that isnt my own "fault". MM interesting read aint it? Well okay more on that ranty vein (..ew)-- even the good guys are often idiots/stuck in some wacko place. I dunno. I'm a girl with some love to give right now, and there doesn't seem to be anybody around who fits the bill. Even people I have had crushes on. Wtf. Was I just that desperate? Retrospect is an interesting emotional discussion with yourself. And what about writing? And college? ahaha. I feel like I'm just beginning to go to college, right now. Take a class I enjoy, read on it, open my fucking brain. So many people I know have their brains shut tight. Fuck. Or think they don't. Live in tightness. Who am I kidding though? I live in tightness. I had a scene showing today that was an absolute fucking mess. I just talked and talked and talked without being there at all. Wtf. And i could feel feeeel so clearly how at one point my fellow students were like....omg get it over with. So we worked on the scene afterwards. I realize some things about working with my scene partner that are difficult. But afterwards, I look some people in the eye and I see a pity. They thought I would be better, perhaps? Perhaps. I am. I think I am. I mean, I knwo when I'm crap. But I mentioned I was crap in class, and I saw one guy's face...and he looked suprised. Perhaps at my honesty? Or a little creeped out at my self berating.
Talk about people going on and on about their days.
Well in the end, this is all about the person writing isnt it? A livejournal-er does it mostly for themseleves. Atleast, that's what I think . Right now, at this moment. Sometimes writing can be amazing, and sometimes it can make you sick. Illness of the soul. I want to be a poet. Perhaps I am.
Perhaps is a great word that I am using a lot.
HAHA look at that rhyhtm I just used, that lilt-- "Perhaps I am"
don't you read that in a certain way?
i surely do
woah now
surely
whoo whoo
i love it
well, if this is getting a bit to abstract for some of my readers who have probably googled 12 things already, instead of reading this....i shall leave you alone.
au revoir
im not rereading this. so fuck it.