Fic

[alicebluegown16]

Title: Something Real
Author: alicebluegown16
Pairing:Matt/Mohinder
Rating: R
Summary: There is far more going on beneath the surface when it comes to our boys. 
AN: Sequel to my story Fool Yourself. This be another dark fic. Seriously, there's a reason this story is saved under the file name EffedUpMatt. This is the kind of thing you write after

Comments

Initial heady reactions

[meleth]

You're completely wonderful, you know that? I had no idea, no earthly notion, of how they could come back from "Fool Yourself," and here you did it. And it's not really a happy ending, but it's so optimistic. A recognition of weakness, a meeting in a place where they're both fucked up, but they're being fucked up together. And oh god, Matt. The absolute horrors of his telepathy, and his inability to tell anyone. The fact that his hell isn't just his own thoughts, his own nightmares (and what horrible nightmares), his own fears, but the fears and jealousies and evils, big and small, of everyone around him. That's just heartbreaking. And Mohinder finally gets it, or at least gets what it must be like. And the borderline hate sex which is still oddly tender and you, you...wonderful, wonderful thing.

I'm deeply touched to have been a source of feedback on what turned into this fic.

Re: Initial heady reactions

[meleth]

And poor, poor Molly. Both of her dads are so fucked up, and there's no way the breakup didn't freak her right the hell out.

Re: Initial heady reactions

[meleth]

OK, last comment, with two minor beta-type things:

He pushes his tongue into Matt’s mouth and taste’s coffee and exhaustion, and A graceful shrug of shoulder’s. I believe you mean tastes and shoulders.

Re: Initial heady reactions

[alicebluegown16]

Eep!

Thankers.

Re: Initial heady reactions

[alicebluegown16]

Thank you so much and so very glad that you liked it because your feedback was so essential. I honestly didn't think I could/would write a sequel until I started mulling over your comments.

Thrilled and relieved that you see this as an optimistic fic. I worried it was just my twisted self that considers the moment of recognition--the ability to recognize mutual fuckedupness as a positive turning point in a relationship.

One of my dear friends put it thus: 'Look, you know I have emotional baggage. All I ask of you is that if you can't help me unpack, don't keep putting shit in there!'

As to Matt, oh, sweet messed up I want to hug him and make him soup Matt! I fear that once you get past the whole 'telepathy is so kewl' this would be the more realistic side effects. I wish the show would address that. And I wish Mohinder would stop his Company work and help Matt deal.

And yes, poor Molly needs massive, massive therapy. Her daddies love her, but that I worry won't cancel out the need for a good shrink.

Thanks again for your

Re: Initial heady reactions

[meleth]

I've never been even close to an active part of the creation of a fic, and I was so anxious to see how that turned out, and what happened to my poor boys (and what fun issues you were going to explore from Matt's POV). I'm glad this stayed in Mohinder's POV for narration. I think one of the pitfalls of academia is coming to believe that you can actually dissect everything and everyone around you, and that you're the deepest person out there. Mohinder didn't for a moment consider that actually *being* Matt might be different from *seeing* Matt, and it's really great watching him realize how ridiculous the assumptions are that he's based his calculations on. Because it's not *about* him, and he's just now getting that.

I also want to hug Matt and make him cookies and soup. Also possibly offer comfort sex, but that might just be my hormones.

I wonder how the guys explained Mohinder's relocation to her?

Re: Initial heady reactions

[alicebluegown16]

Oh my god. Yes

Re: Initial heady reactions

[meleth]

I like us not being sent into Matt's headspace. Because, as you say, omgsoscary, but also because only getting what he's willing to tell Mohinder, or what slips out through his behavior, leaves us constantly wondering how much *more* there is, what dark thoughts Matt Parkman is having and unwilling to share. By being shown his character, instead of told about it through internal narration, we wind up seeing a man who's much more complex than he'll admit to anybody, even his writer. So I'm no good at writing, but I'm really hoping I can make it through life on meta.

And I, like Mohinder, need to learn to just shut up sometimes and let life happen, rather than trying to control it. So I feel, of course, that you've done that very well and are completely correct.