=(
I'm really worried about going back to work tomorrow. Mam and dad came up yesterday to take me out for lunch, see my great auntie, make sure I hadn't chucked myself out of a window, copy files off my PC, the normal stuff. I still didn't feel great when they left, but they advised me on what I need to do and say tomorrow. I went to The Peacock Lounge in Hudd last night, for my friend Gail the Brownie leader's birthday. It was nice, very classy (they have table service!!) and there was a swing jazz band playing. I had to drive home after though, so I was on the cocarola all night, and was reeeeally tired when I finally got back home about 1. =S
Today, I've just felt tired and on edge. I burst into tears when I dropped my (half price) chocolate sundae when I got back from Morrisons, then I left my car lights on (again!) and the battery's flat. My dad's driving up from Leicester at the moment to restart my car, as my breakdown cover doesn't include homestart. I feel so guilty about him having to do that, and about how much I've been leaning on my parents really. I'm really wishing I wasn't so far from home, I just have no one at all in Barnsley I can call on when something goes wrong.
My mum rang just now and I've told her how scared I am about tomorrow. My stomach's in a big knot and I just feel awful. I've made a doctor's appointment for Tuesday and I'm partly relieved and partly scared about that. I'm scared that they're not going to take me seriously and think I'm just a hysterical girl who cries at everything for no reason. But I spoke to my mum about it, and even she seems to think it's a good idea to get checked out as it's gone on so long, and this is the second bout of whatever this is, I've had. I did a 'diagnose-it-yourself' test on NHS direct which said it was likely I had some form of depression. I know you shouldn't rely on them too much but it does seem to make sense. I'm not just going to the doctor's to get him to wave a magic wand and make me happy again, I just want some direction on what to do.
Sorry for all the winging at the moment, I'm just quite lonely in Barnsley and LJ always listens.
xxx
Today, I've just felt tired and on edge. I burst into tears when I dropped my (half price) chocolate sundae when I got back from Morrisons, then I left my car lights on (again!) and the battery's flat. My dad's driving up from Leicester at the moment to restart my car, as my breakdown cover doesn't include homestart. I feel so guilty about him having to do that, and about how much I've been leaning on my parents really. I'm really wishing I wasn't so far from home, I just have no one at all in Barnsley I can call on when something goes wrong.
My mum rang just now and I've told her how scared I am about tomorrow. My stomach's in a big knot and I just feel awful. I've made a doctor's appointment for Tuesday and I'm partly relieved and partly scared about that. I'm scared that they're not going to take me seriously and think I'm just a hysterical girl who cries at everything for no reason. But I spoke to my mum about it, and even she seems to think it's a good idea to get checked out as it's gone on so long, and this is the second bout of whatever this is, I've had. I did a 'diagnose-it-yourself' test on NHS direct which said it was likely I had some form of depression. I know you shouldn't rely on them too much but it does seem to make sense. I'm not just going to the doctor's to get him to wave a magic wand and make me happy again, I just want some direction on what to do.
Sorry for all the winging at the moment, I'm just quite lonely in Barnsley and LJ always listens.
xxx