The Third Law

[alice_pike]

I am proclaiming this finished. It's given me a friggen complex over this past week, and as is such, I AM COMPLETELY OPEN TO CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM. I haven't written anything in at least seven months, and I've looked over and edited and re-wrote this sucker so much that I have no opinion on it anymore. It's either too much in too small a space

Comments

[alice_pike]

Hee, thank you so much, bb! I'm really, really glad you liked it.

Oh, Will. *cuddles him with you*

[likecharity]

Ummmm...nnnngh.

*puts brain back together*

That was really hot. Really. I can't be very organised about this, but, I really loved the way that Will was all confused and stammer-y and not really knowing wtf was going on, and then over-thinking everything, and Skandar was just like "yeah, it's cool." XD It felt like a really natural progression, too.

I think my favourite bit was when Will started rambling about everything and then he said "I didn't really mean to tell you all of that just now". OH WILL. ♥

And the sex. The sex was really hot, omg. I loved Will's intense focus and everything, on getting Skandar off. And Skandar telling him to come. *dead* Nnngh. I hope you write more, bb. :)

Also I love your tags. HEE.

[alice_pike]

OMG, thank you darling!

I wasn't sure if I was going a little over-kill with Will, so I'm really happy to hear that you liked him in this. It's also really nice to hear that it felt natural, because I wasn't sure about that, either.

Will's so adorable I just don't know how to handle it sometimes, lol.

Hee, I'm glad you liked the sex, too. That's kind of the one thing I felt confident about, but it's still good to hear that it worked. I thought at first that maybe I was taking it a bit far for their first time, but I couldn't bring myself to change it.

HAHA, I thought of the tags back when I still like OMFG SQUEE about EVERYTHING (not that I'm not now, but, BEYOND THE POINT) and I just had to use them. XD

[dee_lirious]

"You think too much, you know," said Skandar to Will.

"Gggguuhhdribble," said my brain.

I loved it, really. Will's so awkward and fidgety, and Skandar's all casual and trying not to show his feelings.

I really liked the bit in the trailer, where Will comes in an kind of realizes where he is and what he was about to do and panics, and how easily Skandar can read Will.

I like the awkward tense-ness that was in the limo as well, with Anna and Georgie kind of catching on.

And the sex of course, which blew my mind.

Skandar can practically see the lust in Will’s eyes, his pupils blown wide and dark

Gaah, I loved that right there.

I really do hope you write more darling. ♥♥

[alice_pike]

I Lol'd IRL at the first bit of your comment XD

Ooh, I'm glad you like the part in the trailer, 'cause that was one of the hardest parts to write. I'm also really glad that enjoyed the sex, hee.

Thanks so much for the awesome feedback! I'm looking forward to writing more, too! ♥ ♥ ♥

[_profiterole_]

This was BRILLIANT! ^___^

Will was totally adorable not knowing what to do. And so was Skandar trying not to get too hopeful. ♥

[alice_pike]

XD Thank you so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed it!

[politelypuzzled]

why hullo

you have completed my day with this i do declare....truely one of the best "skan knows what he wants and how to get it" and "will just wants to ramble on and be crazy" stories ive ever read....willmo is such a bay bay lets all hug him *hugs willmos* and skan is just a BAMF no wonder ed was so cool in PC

[alice_pike]

This comment makes me smile like a maniac. Just so you know. ♥

Re: Will - OMG yes, definitely. *squishes him*

Thank you so much for this, bb!

[politelypuzzled]

no prob bay bay...great writing deserves comments :)
oh and were friending

ust FYI

XD

[alice_pike]

Yay, new friends! :-D