Sees Only What Reminds Him
Untitled fill for the first round of the Jonas Brothers kink meme.
Nick/Camilla; 1,559 words.
Joe/Miley OR Nick/Camilla - Joe/Nick sleeps with Miley/Camilla b/c she reminds him of his brother
When he allows himself to think about it, Nick figures that the only thing worse than being in love with your brother is wanting to sleep with your brother's girlfriend. And he assumes the fact that he only wants to sleep with her because it's actually more acceptable to do that than to sleep with his brother doesn't absolve him of anything.
But Camilla is always there, and he likes Camilla, doesn't mind in the least, because he knows he's being unreasonable to want Joe to himself, to expect Joe to spend all of his time with him. But it doesn't stop Nick, somewhere in his mind, from associating Camilla with Joe (or Joe with Camilla, he doesn't really know--doesn't really want to think too hard about it).
Nick knows that Joe's not a virgin. Joe told him that he'd slept with Camilla, and it was as easy as that; Joe didn't want to lie to him, and Nick was happy that he knew the truth, even if he didn't know how he felt about it. Lately he'd been questioning the decision--not just to wear the rings, that was just something that made it visible, made it public--but about his choice in general. He wonders sardonically if maybe he's living the rock star lifestyle after all, since all of the time and energy he puts into the band has made him care less about these kinds of things, these things that used to define him.
He blames Joe for his recent lack of faith, as Joe is to blame for just about everything about Nick, even if he's not responsible for it. He loves Joe more than anything, and wants him so badly he that he's constantly worried he'll never make it through another day if he doesn't have him, can't touch him, and his skin sears with need until everything about him feels frayed, on end, ready to explode.
***
Nick watches them, sees the easy way that Joe's hand slips behind Camilla's back, Camilla's bright smile that alternatively says and hides everything that Disney (and that ring on Joe's finger) doesn't let them show.
Joe told Nick about Camilla's upbringing, her heritage, her easy sexuality and complete self-awareness. She respected Joe's choice from the beginning, and didn't say anything when he changed his mind. She is aware of more than Joe (and Nick) probably gives her credit for, and watches in silence.
Camilla watches Nick watching her and Joe, and she knows there's something building among the three of them. Nick's eyes are on her and she makes eye contact with him; Nick thinks that she sees more than he ever intended to show her.
***
Joe is asleep next to him and isn't that just the first thing fucked up about this, the first thing that makes Nick's skin crawl at the thought of it. He's been irritated all day, not talking much to avoid blowing up at whoever he was speaking to, and right now he's hard and so frustrated and Joe is laying on the bed next to him, oblivious to it all.
He thinks about going into the bathroom and wrapping his hand around his cock; he thinks about coming quick and dirty with Joe's name falling from his lips like a litany, like a prayer; he think about Joe on his knees in front of him, swallowing down his cock, sucking him off. But then he thinks about Joe only a thin wall away, and decides against it.
He makes sure the door doesn't slam behind him when he leaves.
***
Camilla opens the door wearing pajama shorts and what is definitely one of Joe's shirts, and any doubts Nick had are gone. He steps into her room uninvited, his face set.
"Nick," she says in a concerned tone, and before she can ask him what's wrong Nick adeptly places his hand behind her neck and pulls her towards him, kissing her matter-of-factly on the lips. When he breaks off, all she says is, "Oh," like the kiss answered all of her questions a little too perfectly. She doesn't stop him, doesn't try to talk to him, and Nick ignores everything telling him that this is a bad idea, and kisses her again. Nick grabs her arms but immediately backs off; they're slender, much too skinny, and nothing like what he's always imagined it would be like to have Joe under his hands. He doesn't want to be rough with her and that's just one more reminder of what--of who--she isn't. He's holding back and she notices, whispers, "Nick, it's okay," softly into his ear, adding with the hint of a smirk, "I'm not going to break, you know."
He nods. It's not her he's worried about.
She steps towards him and cups his cheek softly with one hand--too softly, given the circumstances--and he wraps his arms around her, his fingers fisting into Joe's shirt.
And it's like he goes on auto-pilot, doing everything with intention and determination before he can start thinking again and change his mind, before he can come to his senses and acknowledge that it isn't Joe beneath him, that this will not satisfy what he feels for and needs from his brother, will never take it's place.
He moves towards the bed, leading her, and when she lays back on it she doesn't pull him down after her, doesn't make any move to take off her clothes; she watches Nick with bright eyes, offering him whatever he needs. Nick slips his shirt off over his head, unbuckles his jeans with shaking hands. He kicks off his boxers as he climbs onto the bed, kneeling over Camilla. He slides his fingers under the hem of Joe's shirt, tucks them into the waistband of Camilla's shorts and underwear and pulls them both down her legs, tossing them to the floor next to his own discarded clothes.
He runs his hands down her smooth thighs (not Joe, a part of him says) as he moves between her legs, leans forward to kiss her again, just a little bit desperately. Instinctively, he slides his hand down from her face to cup her breast and she lets out the softest of moans, as everything inside of Nick screams its protest to the sudden jolt of recognition that it's Camilla, that he's about to have sex with his brother's--with Joe's--girlfriend.
The thought both makes him feel sick and pushes him on, and something jagged and sharp stirs inside him when Camilla easily opens the nightstand drawer and hands him a condom. He takes it wordlessly, hissing through his teeth as he rolls it onto his aching cock. He keeps his eyes closed where they had fluttered shut, and thoughts of Joe flash incessantly through his mind, broken only when Camilla says his name. He opens his eyes and looks at her, sees only what reminds him of Joe--tan skin, brown eyes, defined eyebrows, hair just a shade too light.
She reaches out for him and spreads her legs, just slightly, letting him slip easily between them. There is a moment of awkwardness as he shifts, trying to find the best position in which to brace himself above her, and if she notices his timidity she lets it go, just wraps her legs around his and guides him in.
His facade begins to falter when he enters her, and a broken moan--nearly a sob--escapes his lips as heat envelopes his cock. He starts to rock into her immediately, and he's too sensitive now and it's too good--he knows he won't last long. She matches his rhythm thrust for thrust, and already he's almost there, can feel his orgasm where it's been boiling under his skin all day, clawing to get out.
His thrusts get more and more erratic as his orgasm builds, and he dips his head into Camilla's shoulder, mumbling against her skin. She shifts beneath him, carding her fingers through his hair as she rocks against him, and his head slips down another inch, buried against the fabric of Joe's shirt that Nick never took off of her. It still smells like his brother. Nick squeezes his eyes shut against the wave of associations that smell brings with it, and two thrusts later he comes hard into the condom, rides out his orgasm for what feels to Nick like minutes.
He collapses against Camilla when he finally comes down. She takes his weight without complaint, and pushes his sweaty hair back from his face, letting him regain some strength in his limbs. Nick can still smell Joe on Camilla's shirt, combined now with the pungent smell of sex, and it makes Nick nauseous. He pulls out of Camilla and gracelessly climbs off of the bed, avoiding making eye contact with her. He feels disgusted with himself. He unceremoniously throws the used condom into the trash and starts to collect his clothes; Camilla slips her pajamas back on.
She doesn't do anything dramatic like tell him to get out and she refuses to let him apologize, but he leaves anyway, whispering apologies as her door swings closed behind him and still as his and Joe's door opens in front of him.
He doesn't know who he's trying to apologize to.
Nick/Camilla; 1,559 words.
Joe/Miley OR Nick/Camilla - Joe/Nick sleeps with Miley/Camilla b/c she reminds him of his brother
When he allows himself to think about it, Nick figures that the only thing worse than being in love with your brother is wanting to sleep with your brother's girlfriend. And he assumes the fact that he only wants to sleep with her because it's actually more acceptable to do that than to sleep with his brother doesn't absolve him of anything.
But Camilla is always there, and he likes Camilla, doesn't mind in the least, because he knows he's being unreasonable to want Joe to himself, to expect Joe to spend all of his time with him. But it doesn't stop Nick, somewhere in his mind, from associating Camilla with Joe (or Joe with Camilla, he doesn't really know--doesn't really want to think too hard about it).
Nick knows that Joe's not a virgin. Joe told him that he'd slept with Camilla, and it was as easy as that; Joe didn't want to lie to him, and Nick was happy that he knew the truth, even if he didn't know how he felt about it. Lately he'd been questioning the decision--not just to wear the rings, that was just something that made it visible, made it public--but about his choice in general. He wonders sardonically if maybe he's living the rock star lifestyle after all, since all of the time and energy he puts into the band has made him care less about these kinds of things, these things that used to define him.
He blames Joe for his recent lack of faith, as Joe is to blame for just about everything about Nick, even if he's not responsible for it. He loves Joe more than anything, and wants him so badly he that he's constantly worried he'll never make it through another day if he doesn't have him, can't touch him, and his skin sears with need until everything about him feels frayed, on end, ready to explode.
***
Nick watches them, sees the easy way that Joe's hand slips behind Camilla's back, Camilla's bright smile that alternatively says and hides everything that Disney (and that ring on Joe's finger) doesn't let them show.
Joe told Nick about Camilla's upbringing, her heritage, her easy sexuality and complete self-awareness. She respected Joe's choice from the beginning, and didn't say anything when he changed his mind. She is aware of more than Joe (and Nick) probably gives her credit for, and watches in silence.
Camilla watches Nick watching her and Joe, and she knows there's something building among the three of them. Nick's eyes are on her and she makes eye contact with him; Nick thinks that she sees more than he ever intended to show her.
***
Joe is asleep next to him and isn't that just the first thing fucked up about this, the first thing that makes Nick's skin crawl at the thought of it. He's been irritated all day, not talking much to avoid blowing up at whoever he was speaking to, and right now he's hard and so frustrated and Joe is laying on the bed next to him, oblivious to it all.
He thinks about going into the bathroom and wrapping his hand around his cock; he thinks about coming quick and dirty with Joe's name falling from his lips like a litany, like a prayer; he think about Joe on his knees in front of him, swallowing down his cock, sucking him off. But then he thinks about Joe only a thin wall away, and decides against it.
He makes sure the door doesn't slam behind him when he leaves.
***
Camilla opens the door wearing pajama shorts and what is definitely one of Joe's shirts, and any doubts Nick had are gone. He steps into her room uninvited, his face set.
"Nick," she says in a concerned tone, and before she can ask him what's wrong Nick adeptly places his hand behind her neck and pulls her towards him, kissing her matter-of-factly on the lips. When he breaks off, all she says is, "Oh," like the kiss answered all of her questions a little too perfectly. She doesn't stop him, doesn't try to talk to him, and Nick ignores everything telling him that this is a bad idea, and kisses her again. Nick grabs her arms but immediately backs off; they're slender, much too skinny, and nothing like what he's always imagined it would be like to have Joe under his hands. He doesn't want to be rough with her and that's just one more reminder of what--of who--she isn't. He's holding back and she notices, whispers, "Nick, it's okay," softly into his ear, adding with the hint of a smirk, "I'm not going to break, you know."
He nods. It's not her he's worried about.
She steps towards him and cups his cheek softly with one hand--too softly, given the circumstances--and he wraps his arms around her, his fingers fisting into Joe's shirt.
And it's like he goes on auto-pilot, doing everything with intention and determination before he can start thinking again and change his mind, before he can come to his senses and acknowledge that it isn't Joe beneath him, that this will not satisfy what he feels for and needs from his brother, will never take it's place.
He moves towards the bed, leading her, and when she lays back on it she doesn't pull him down after her, doesn't make any move to take off her clothes; she watches Nick with bright eyes, offering him whatever he needs. Nick slips his shirt off over his head, unbuckles his jeans with shaking hands. He kicks off his boxers as he climbs onto the bed, kneeling over Camilla. He slides his fingers under the hem of Joe's shirt, tucks them into the waistband of Camilla's shorts and underwear and pulls them both down her legs, tossing them to the floor next to his own discarded clothes.
He runs his hands down her smooth thighs (not Joe, a part of him says) as he moves between her legs, leans forward to kiss her again, just a little bit desperately. Instinctively, he slides his hand down from her face to cup her breast and she lets out the softest of moans, as everything inside of Nick screams its protest to the sudden jolt of recognition that it's Camilla, that he's about to have sex with his brother's--with Joe's--girlfriend.
The thought both makes him feel sick and pushes him on, and something jagged and sharp stirs inside him when Camilla easily opens the nightstand drawer and hands him a condom. He takes it wordlessly, hissing through his teeth as he rolls it onto his aching cock. He keeps his eyes closed where they had fluttered shut, and thoughts of Joe flash incessantly through his mind, broken only when Camilla says his name. He opens his eyes and looks at her, sees only what reminds him of Joe--tan skin, brown eyes, defined eyebrows, hair just a shade too light.
She reaches out for him and spreads her legs, just slightly, letting him slip easily between them. There is a moment of awkwardness as he shifts, trying to find the best position in which to brace himself above her, and if she notices his timidity she lets it go, just wraps her legs around his and guides him in.
His facade begins to falter when he enters her, and a broken moan--nearly a sob--escapes his lips as heat envelopes his cock. He starts to rock into her immediately, and he's too sensitive now and it's too good--he knows he won't last long. She matches his rhythm thrust for thrust, and already he's almost there, can feel his orgasm where it's been boiling under his skin all day, clawing to get out.
His thrusts get more and more erratic as his orgasm builds, and he dips his head into Camilla's shoulder, mumbling against her skin. She shifts beneath him, carding her fingers through his hair as she rocks against him, and his head slips down another inch, buried against the fabric of Joe's shirt that Nick never took off of her. It still smells like his brother. Nick squeezes his eyes shut against the wave of associations that smell brings with it, and two thrusts later he comes hard into the condom, rides out his orgasm for what feels to Nick like minutes.
He collapses against Camilla when he finally comes down. She takes his weight without complaint, and pushes his sweaty hair back from his face, letting him regain some strength in his limbs. Nick can still smell Joe on Camilla's shirt, combined now with the pungent smell of sex, and it makes Nick nauseous. He pulls out of Camilla and gracelessly climbs off of the bed, avoiding making eye contact with her. He feels disgusted with himself. He unceremoniously throws the used condom into the trash and starts to collect his clothes; Camilla slips her pajamas back on.
She doesn't do anything dramatic like tell him to get out and she refuses to let him apologize, but he leaves anyway, whispering apologies as her door swings closed behind him and still as his and Joe's door opens in front of him.
He doesn't know who he's trying to apologize to.