In Which My Neurosis Shows
I am having so many D.Gray-man feels, you guys. So many.
I just...I don't even know how to put them all into words and holy shit, there is SO MUCH HAPPENING and it is too much all at once, and what even, Hoshino, how do I go on living, okay? Just LEAVE ME HERE TO DIE.
Because what. WHAT JUST HAPPENED. WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN.
WELL, LET'S BEGIN WITH MOTHERFUCKING KANDA YUU, OKAY? OKAY. NO, YOU KNOW WHAT, NEVERMIND, I CAN'T EVEN GO THERE RIGHT NOW. Because his history is so much fucking worse than I though it was going to be. I read through those chapters with this...horrified awe and just cried for them, okay? Like, I don't think I've ever cried in that specific way at something before. It wasn't like Fred-or-Dobby-dying-let-me-bawl-my-eyes-out kinda crying--I totally kept my composure, but I was just sitting there reading with tears streaming down my face. Like, DO-NOT-WANT-I-CAN'T-BELIEVE-THIS-ACTUALLY-HAPPENED-TO-YOU kinda crying.
Because this?
Can't fucking deal with this.
Seriously, how is Kanda even a functioning being at this point? I mean, how...? I just...oh my God.
And then Allen, holy shit Allen, just saying fuck you to everything else and letting him and Alma go off to Mater to die together, THIS IS TOO MUCH. Kanda and Alma might be my favorite ever, okay? And while I'm still somewhat unsure of what/who Alma actually is (has he (she?) always been that random chick, or just when she (he?) became an akuma? Why is there a random chick/why does Kanda feel any sort of connection to her if she's actually Alma and not connected to Kanda's past self? Who was technically speaking at the end, random chick or Alma? If it was random chick, does Kanda realize that it wasn't Alma? SO MANY QUESTIONS) it is STILL FUCKING HEARTBREAKING.
Just...ugh, that whole thing.
OKAY, SO I WENT THERE BUT I'M STILL INCOHERENT WITH FEELINGS. I need to re-read that bit when I'm feeling less psychotic.
What next? FUCKING HOWARD LINK, FOLKS.
For some reason that I can't really place, I have loved Howard Link since the first panel he showed up in, despite kinda being a bastard most of the time. But he also a huge bamf most of the time, and I am loving so hard his devotion to Allen, even when it was still simply ~part of his job. I'm hoping to DEATH he full-on changes sides because I want to love him FOREVER.
In general, I just feel like this is the first series I've gotten into where I liked people from the start who just got increasingly more awesome. Usually I'm stuck liking the obvious people from the start, or get interested in people who never go anywhere and am left very unsatisfied. But my huge crush on Bak fucking Chan? SO WORTH MY TIME. My epic love for Komui? CONTINUALLY PROVEN TO BE WELL-PLACED.
NOT TO MENTION EVERYONE ELSE, JESUS.
Like Laavvviiii.
Just let me hug you, bb, okay? And Hoshino, tell me wtf you mean by this immediately.
SERIOUSLY, LEAVE ME FOR DEAD.
I want to stretch out the next ten chapters because then I'ma have to wait for updates, but I know I'll probably just read them all tomorrow and then DROWN IN MISERY AND NEVER RECOVER.
I'm also having so many shipping feels related to the above things, but they just seemed inconsequential in such a srs bsns emotional flailing post.
But yeah, I'm going to need so much fic at the end of this. *hands*
DW post here. Comment there? |
I just...I don't even know how to put them all into words and holy shit, there is SO MUCH HAPPENING and it is too much all at once, and what even, Hoshino, how do I go on living, okay? Just LEAVE ME HERE TO DIE.
Because what. WHAT JUST HAPPENED. WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN.
WELL, LET'S BEGIN WITH MOTHERFUCKING KANDA YUU, OKAY? OKAY. NO, YOU KNOW WHAT, NEVERMIND, I CAN'T EVEN GO THERE RIGHT NOW. Because his history is so much fucking worse than I though it was going to be. I read through those chapters with this...horrified awe and just cried for them, okay? Like, I don't think I've ever cried in that specific way at something before. It wasn't like Fred-or-Dobby-dying-let-me-bawl-my-eyes-out kinda crying--I totally kept my composure, but I was just sitting there reading with tears streaming down my face. Like, DO-NOT-WANT-I-CAN'T-BELIEVE-THIS-ACTUALLY-HAPPENED-TO-YOU kinda crying.
Because this?
Can't fucking deal with this.
Seriously, how is Kanda even a functioning being at this point? I mean, how...? I just...oh my God.
And then Allen, holy shit Allen, just saying fuck you to everything else and letting him and Alma go off to Mater to die together, THIS IS TOO MUCH. Kanda and Alma might be my favorite ever, okay? And while I'm still somewhat unsure of what/who Alma actually is (has he (she?) always been that random chick, or just when she (he?) became an akuma? Why is there a random chick/why does Kanda feel any sort of connection to her if she's actually Alma and not connected to Kanda's past self? Who was technically speaking at the end, random chick or Alma? If it was random chick, does Kanda realize that it wasn't Alma? SO MANY QUESTIONS) it is STILL FUCKING HEARTBREAKING.
Just...ugh, that whole thing.
OKAY, SO I WENT THERE BUT I'M STILL INCOHERENT WITH FEELINGS. I need to re-read that bit when I'm feeling less psychotic.
What next? FUCKING HOWARD LINK, FOLKS.
For some reason that I can't really place, I have loved Howard Link since the first panel he showed up in, despite kinda being a bastard most of the time. But he also a huge bamf most of the time, and I am loving so hard his devotion to Allen, even when it was still simply ~part of his job. I'm hoping to DEATH he full-on changes sides because I want to love him FOREVER.
In general, I just feel like this is the first series I've gotten into where I liked people from the start who just got increasingly more awesome. Usually I'm stuck liking the obvious people from the start, or get interested in people who never go anywhere and am left very unsatisfied. But my huge crush on Bak fucking Chan? SO WORTH MY TIME. My epic love for Komui? CONTINUALLY PROVEN TO BE WELL-PLACED.
NOT TO MENTION EVERYONE ELSE, JESUS.
Like Laavvviiii.
Just let me hug you, bb, okay? And Hoshino, tell me wtf you mean by this immediately.
SERIOUSLY, LEAVE ME FOR DEAD.
I want to stretch out the next ten chapters because then I'ma have to wait for updates, but I know I'll probably just read them all tomorrow and then DROWN IN MISERY AND NEVER RECOVER.
I'm also having so many shipping feels related to the above things, but they just seemed inconsequential in such a srs bsns emotional flailing post.
But yeah, I'm going to need so much fic at the end of this. *hands*
DW post here. Comment there? |