From Alice's Journal
Life only continues to grow more interesting. As I didn't come directly back to this journal after visiting Dorian, I suppose I should say something about it now... Though I'm frankly not sure what to write. The only thing I can really think of is that it could have gone worse. I do lo care very deeply for Sebastian, and somehow I thought that Dorian would be happy for me-- especially considering that he practically offered to set me up with someone back on Jamaica. I understand, of course, that he doesn't like Sebastian-- and I never said he needed to. I just...
Dorian and I have moved apart, I'm afraid. That's all there is to it. He is still a dear friend and I still love him dearly as a friend, but... I should never have told him about Dodgson.
He and Holmes have had some sort of row over the (rather remote, I think) possibility of Dr Watson returning to Holmes' life. Apparently Holmes feels the situation might well mirror the dynamic that exists between Dorian and Sebastian, and that there is likely no way Holmes can have them both in his life. I doubt his fears are unfounded, of course, but I hope it works out for him, one way or another.
It's strange, really. I've spent the better part of a week thinking of 'Holmes and Dorian', and was faced, suddenly, with 'Holmes' and 'Dorian'. I feel rather badly for thinking of them solely in terms of their relationship... although...
Despite my very deep affection for Sebastian, I still have feelings for both Dorian and Holmes (though they're far messier where Dorian is concerned). Perhaps refusing to think of them as anything but a couple was a way of... subconsciously closing that avenue, of protecting myself from my own feelings? Or... of protecting them from my feelings, as they both seemed under the impression that I would run off with the other at the drop of a hat.
And I must say, I do feel terribly guilty about sympathizing more with Holmes than with Dorian. Especially since I'm not certain why I feel that way.
Let's see... what else needs putting down...
Oh yes.
I've spoken with Dr Griffin. He's... I don't doubt he's a dangerous man, but he's not quite so frightening as he should be. In fact, I feel rather badly for him, as well, though that, I'm certain, is pure guilt and nothing more. Well, and the fact he's a bit ill. I'm a rather poor nurse, but I've always at least tried to take care of people. Something in my nature, I suppose. (Note to Self: Try to make sure Dr Griffin eats something more than a few rolls.)
And... I've spoken with Sebastian. About... about restarting my aging process.
I'm going to do it.
Dorian and I have moved apart, I'm afraid. That's all there is to it. He is still a dear friend and I still love him dearly as a friend, but... I should never have told him about Dodgson.
He and Holmes have had some sort of row over the (rather remote, I think) possibility of Dr Watson returning to Holmes' life. Apparently Holmes feels the situation might well mirror the dynamic that exists between Dorian and Sebastian, and that there is likely no way Holmes can have them both in his life. I doubt his fears are unfounded, of course, but I hope it works out for him, one way or another.
It's strange, really. I've spent the better part of a week thinking of 'Holmes and Dorian', and was faced, suddenly, with 'Holmes' and 'Dorian'. I feel rather badly for thinking of them solely in terms of their relationship... although...
Despite my very deep affection for Sebastian, I still have feelings for both Dorian and Holmes (though they're far messier where Dorian is concerned). Perhaps refusing to think of them as anything but a couple was a way of... subconsciously closing that avenue, of protecting myself from my own feelings? Or... of protecting them from my feelings, as they both seemed under the impression that I would run off with the other at the drop of a hat.
And I must say, I do feel terribly guilty about sympathizing more with Holmes than with Dorian. Especially since I'm not certain why I feel that way.
Let's see... what else needs putting down...
Oh yes.
I've spoken with Dr Griffin. He's... I don't doubt he's a dangerous man, but he's not quite so frightening as he should be. In fact, I feel rather badly for him, as well, though that, I'm certain, is pure guilt and nothing more. Well, and the fact he's a bit ill. I'm a rather poor nurse, but I've always at least tried to take care of people. Something in my nature, I suppose. (Note to Self: Try to make sure Dr Griffin eats something more than a few rolls.)
And... I've spoken with Sebastian. About... about restarting my aging process.
I'm going to do it.