Unknown
The world is a sad, upsetting place. There are times when I feel there is good in our hearts, and perhaps that is true, but it appears to be outweighed by selfishness, hate, anger, and jealously. Despite that I have not been specifically attacked by any such happenings, I am feeling the shadow of it, and it has reflected in my day, which i spent eating foods I would normally label as "bad". I watched sad movies, and was grumpy towards those that probably needed me, and for this I wish to apologize.
I would like to think that I am worthy of love, worthy of finding someone who is more than simply interested in sleeping with me and then remaining friends, and never being able to really get involved and take any risks. I guess I'm playing it safe in a way, I don't want to get hurt, so it's easier to be with someone that I know their intentions, even if they are not the best ones, but I can understand it all at once and so it is appealing. Sometimes I wish no one read these at all so i could write in real secrets, I have a few, I need a secret holder!
Vacation is a nice idea, but quite frankly, they don't agree with me. Too much time, with little to do can be devastating for a girl like me. I should never have ample time on my hands, it simply shouldn't be allowed. I need to get some structure in my routine during vacation or else I will probably fall apart.
The up side, is that despite my frequent sad mood, I have been seeing old friends. Hanging out with kids I really love spending time with. I have drank too much this weekend though, friday through sunday... I'm just not used to it. It's exhausting! But I must say that i had fun.
Christmas is so soon, I wish I was looking forward to it more like I used to. It's really hard not having a significant other during the holidays, I understand why so many adults used to tell me it can be a very lonely time of year.
I would like to think that I am worthy of love, worthy of finding someone who is more than simply interested in sleeping with me and then remaining friends, and never being able to really get involved and take any risks. I guess I'm playing it safe in a way, I don't want to get hurt, so it's easier to be with someone that I know their intentions, even if they are not the best ones, but I can understand it all at once and so it is appealing. Sometimes I wish no one read these at all so i could write in real secrets, I have a few, I need a secret holder!
Vacation is a nice idea, but quite frankly, they don't agree with me. Too much time, with little to do can be devastating for a girl like me. I should never have ample time on my hands, it simply shouldn't be allowed. I need to get some structure in my routine during vacation or else I will probably fall apart.
The up side, is that despite my frequent sad mood, I have been seeing old friends. Hanging out with kids I really love spending time with. I have drank too much this weekend though, friday through sunday... I'm just not used to it. It's exhausting! But I must say that i had fun.
Christmas is so soon, I wish I was looking forward to it more like I used to. It's really hard not having a significant other during the holidays, I understand why so many adults used to tell me it can be a very lonely time of year.