ramble ramble
In a not so angry way, i want to rip of my skin and pull on my tendons. I feel horribly ugly, and terribly huge. I feel i can't hide from my ugliness so i feel like i should stop trying... i actually have stopped trying at all in many ways... I very rarely can stand looking in a mirror long enough to put on make up, i also have a more than hard time leaving my apartment in anything but (usually dirty) jeans and loose t shirts. I'm never satisfied.... there is just no help for me, i'm a lost cause. I will continue to take no care in my appearance because i know there is nothing i can do to even solve the problem just a little. Final projects are a real pain in the ass, and my heart flutters a lot more frequently. I know i'll do fine, yet, ever since i got that C last semester i've been a little paranoid. I need a vacation, like a real one. Away from here... I need new things to look at. i need true, fresh air in my lungs.