i'll leave my room open till sunrise for you.
so lots has happened since ive last wrote in here.. too much to even begin to cover. but most importantly, i am in attica. im happy to be back, but its a bit bittersweet because of all that goes on. saturday jess and morgan drove all the way from southern indiana to indy just so they could see me when i flew in & then they drove me up here to attica and stayed the night.. sunday night i went to laffy with leslie, curtis, jt, and abbey.. we ate at red lobster, got ice cream and watched movies at leslie's.. ugh today i had to go to a visitation.. and tomorrow is the funeral but i really don't want to go because my father is supposed to be there and i think that if i must suffer through any more of his bull shit, i might go crazy.. but lets hope not.
lately ive been feeling extremely lonely. like ill be around so many people and this sadness will come over me and there's nothing i can do. i move so much that i dunno if i fit in anywhere, it seems like everywhere everyone has their set group of friends and people they talk to and i don't seem to fit into it.. i really don't know what i want at this point. but i do know what i don't want. i don't want to stay in montreal and go to an all girls school. and we might move back to pittsburgh, which i think i want, but im not really sure. its not that i don't like it there, i do and i like the people, but things with my mom are complicated. i called her earlier and accidently had a small breakdown and i regret that it happened. she thinks she understands what has been going on in my head this past year, but honestly she has no idea. i don't even have a good idea. ehhhh there's too much to type.
lately ive been feeling extremely lonely. like ill be around so many people and this sadness will come over me and there's nothing i can do. i move so much that i dunno if i fit in anywhere, it seems like everywhere everyone has their set group of friends and people they talk to and i don't seem to fit into it.. i really don't know what i want at this point. but i do know what i don't want. i don't want to stay in montreal and go to an all girls school. and we might move back to pittsburgh, which i think i want, but im not really sure. its not that i don't like it there, i do and i like the people, but things with my mom are complicated. i called her earlier and accidently had a small breakdown and i regret that it happened. she thinks she understands what has been going on in my head this past year, but honestly she has no idea. i don't even have a good idea. ehhhh there's too much to type.