I need HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm finally admitting I need it...
I have cried more today than I have cried in a very very very LONG time. I had a very bad morning and I got hurt and I hurt people and everything that has happened these past couple of days, I blame on myself. I am seriously depressed now. I have been bottling things up for a long time and its all starting to come out. I ran away from home to Barnesville to be happy. I wasn't happy there, so I ran away to Augusta to be happy here and I'm not happy here. So, tomorrow, I have an appointment and for the first time ever in my life I am brave enough to say, "I need help!" and actually go get it. I did lose one of my best friends today and that really hurts! This morning, I was actually sitting in class crying(the people next to me probably thought I was weird). So, I skipped my next class to come home so no one could see me cry. I NEVER cry to people, but I needed a hug more than ever today, so I ran into Alisha's room and cried on her shoulder. Thank you Alisha, I love you to death! Besides losing 1 friend, I did get things worked out w/another friend...I think. So, I cried myself to sleep and took like a 2 1/2 hour nap. I had the best dream ever. In my dream, I had everything and everybody I ever lost and I was so happy! But when I woke up, I realized that dreams don't come true and that's Ok. I went to my Accounting 2 class and got my test back and I made a 59:( I cried on the way home and felt stupid b/c I was sitting at a redlight and I looked next to me and there was Brent and Mark screaming out me. They said they were going to go get cigarettes and I told them I had some. LOL, I gave them the ones that I think Kimberly left in my car a year ago. Well, I really am hurt right now and I'm still crying and I'm very very hurt and I do hate myself. But, I've got to go on w/life and I don't know where its gonna take me next, but I just hope I can get some medicine to help me get through it. All I wish for right now is happiness and the best for people I love and care for...