lord help.
so i quit my job on saturday night. it was a really good thing. except it ended sortof traumatically. michelle(boss)'s girlfriend comes up every weekend from raleigh to help michelle run the restraunt, just out of pure goodheartedness. and michelle doesn't appreciate it at all. in fact she gets angry at her girlfriend if she does something like check her email when she thinks she should be helping her and treated like shit. for free i might add. so 2 weekends ago they got in a big fight in the middle of the restraunt about how michelle doesn't appreciate her. let me tell you, this lady is professional.
so i think michelle felt bad about all that and after work on saturday she told me i should pay her girlfriend out of my tips. i was shocked. does she think that i even make enough money to do that? i told her that i was confused that she had never asked me to do this before and her girlfriend has been doing this all summer, and i said if anyone should pay her girlfriend, it should be herself. (her girlfriend also was confused and wouldn't take any money i offered her) anyway, she got really mad and said i had no ettiquite and didn't appreciate her girlfriend's help, and i started crying and she called me a crybaby and i said i quit. now she owes me around $300 and hasn't opened the restraunt in four days. lord help.
i really hate that i cry so easily. i hate that about myself. i don't think i've regained much of my self confidence since being in an abusive relationship. and i hate giving him credit for fucking me up so much, but i also have to realize where it comes from i guess. its been over a year and so that worries me a little. i feel so grounded most of the time, but then any tiny little thing will knock me down- even if i feel like i should be ok. i don't know how to fight that, and how to be strong, or at least appear to be. i feel like i don't have control over my emotions.
i'm so tired of being at home. i want to be back at guilford. i miss you guys so much.
so i think michelle felt bad about all that and after work on saturday she told me i should pay her girlfriend out of my tips. i was shocked. does she think that i even make enough money to do that? i told her that i was confused that she had never asked me to do this before and her girlfriend has been doing this all summer, and i said if anyone should pay her girlfriend, it should be herself. (her girlfriend also was confused and wouldn't take any money i offered her) anyway, she got really mad and said i had no ettiquite and didn't appreciate her girlfriend's help, and i started crying and she called me a crybaby and i said i quit. now she owes me around $300 and hasn't opened the restraunt in four days. lord help.
i really hate that i cry so easily. i hate that about myself. i don't think i've regained much of my self confidence since being in an abusive relationship. and i hate giving him credit for fucking me up so much, but i also have to realize where it comes from i guess. its been over a year and so that worries me a little. i feel so grounded most of the time, but then any tiny little thing will knock me down- even if i feel like i should be ok. i don't know how to fight that, and how to be strong, or at least appear to be. i feel like i don't have control over my emotions.
i'm so tired of being at home. i want to be back at guilford. i miss you guys so much.