Sep 18, 2004 23:17
I saw my love this weekend. I felt the contours of his face and tasted the subtle nuances of his lips. I stroked the gentle hairs that tickle his chin and grasped his hand tightly as I stared, wide-eyed with fascination and fear, at every new experience that I will soon be forced to encounter. I think it was the fright that made me so painfully neglect your story, darling; I think it was the fright that forced those tears from my eyes and made me voice such self-deprecating phrases. Time with you flows so differently than anywhere else in the universe. Sometimes it rushes onward, as water toward some unseen precipice just around the bend where it plummets hundreds of feet to its death on the rocks below; sometimes eddies snare and drag the currents so that I feel I am consuming every second of your life. Sometimes seeing your eyes for the first time in weeks unnerves me too much, so that I can't say the right things or align my lips with your nose the way I once did. I had such a wonderful time, though. Each moment the idea of leaving you graced my fragile soul, I would cringe and cower and avoid your beautiful eyes, but I wouldn't sacrifice that pain for all the fat little chipmunks in Bloomington. I never know anymore if what I write has any relation to the thoughts actually swimming in my brain, but there's no more space for insecurity. I love you.
And Christy, darling, thank you. You're wonderful and I enjoyed your company immensely. *hugs*