Rather funny
Me maw sent us these lol
She sends me loadsa funny stuff - these are...
"My bush is really overgrown around the front and
my back passage has fungus growing in it."
"He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole
house and I just can't take it any more."
"It's the dog's mess that I find hard to swallow."
"I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has
backfired and burned my knob off."
"Their 18 year-old son is continually banging his
balls against my fence."
"I wish to report that tiles are missing from the
outside toilet roof. I think it was the bad wind the
other night that blew them off."
"My lavatory seat is cracked. Where do I stand?"
"I am writing on behalf of my sink."
"Will you please send someone to mend the garden
path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and
now she is pregnant."
"I request permission to remove my drawers in the
kitchen."
"50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling
plaster and 50% are plain filthy."
"The toilet is blocked and we can't bath the children
until it is cleared."
"Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in
three pieces."
"I want to complain about the farmer across the
road. Every morning at 6.00am his cock wakes me
up and it's now getting too much for me."
"The man next door has a large erection in his back
garden which is unsightly and dangerous."
"Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children
and would like a third so please send someone
around to do something about it."
"I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and
would you please do something about the noise
made by the man on top of me every night."
"Please send a man with the right tool to finish the
job and satisfy my wife."
"I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six
times but I still have no satisfaction."
"This is to let you know that our toilet seat is
broken and we can't get BBC2."
She sends me loadsa funny stuff - these are...
"My bush is really overgrown around the front and
my back passage has fungus growing in it."
"He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole
house and I just can't take it any more."
"It's the dog's mess that I find hard to swallow."
"I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has
backfired and burned my knob off."
"Their 18 year-old son is continually banging his
balls against my fence."
"I wish to report that tiles are missing from the
outside toilet roof. I think it was the bad wind the
other night that blew them off."
"My lavatory seat is cracked. Where do I stand?"
"I am writing on behalf of my sink."
"Will you please send someone to mend the garden
path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and
now she is pregnant."
"I request permission to remove my drawers in the
kitchen."
"50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling
plaster and 50% are plain filthy."
"The toilet is blocked and we can't bath the children
until it is cleared."
"Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in
three pieces."
"I want to complain about the farmer across the
road. Every morning at 6.00am his cock wakes me
up and it's now getting too much for me."
"The man next door has a large erection in his back
garden which is unsightly and dangerous."
"Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children
and would like a third so please send someone
around to do something about it."
"I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and
would you please do something about the noise
made by the man on top of me every night."
"Please send a man with the right tool to finish the
job and satisfy my wife."
"I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six
times but I still have no satisfaction."
"This is to let you know that our toilet seat is
broken and we can't get BBC2."