Still Holding Grudges Are We?
So I woke up today to my "What's Left Of Me" ringtone...people...you know what that means if I hear that ringtone. Apparently it was Erika. o.O (rissa i took that from you. lo siento)
She left me a message saying she was going to Panera with Kay and Tyler and asked if I could come along. How sweet. I agreed and met up with them around noon-ish. Not really the hanging out I wanted with her. Wanted it to be more intimate...meaning us two walking through wickford talking. Not us two, with Kay and Tyler, listening to them pretty much tell us the entire movie of Transformers...they've become obsessed for those of you who haven't been around them yet.
I updated Erika on Chris. She updated me on her new boyfriend. And that was basically it. Didn't really get to tell her what I wanted to. Which makes me upset. Which is probably why I feel like crap right now. And probably the fact that those three were talking about how their work was going to be today...and I had nothing to contribute. It made me almost want to cry and just leave.
I can't seem to do a few things as of this point in my life: 1. Get a job. I really cannot get one. I've applied to so many places...called them back, and nothing in return. 2. Talk to my dad. Ever since Father's Day...its been just...quiet and neutral between us. I went from perky guy to refined, quiet guy when he came to Martha's Vineyard. Then once he left, I was all perky again. My aunt noticed that even before me. And 3. I can't seem to get a hold of this person. I text her, I leave her IMs...I even comment on her LJ.
I guess some people still hold things against me...even after I've apologized and even tried to make it work again. I mean Maddy didn't even trust me with something to tell me because I have a "tendency to blab it it out" says Kathy. It just sucks that people can't just...I guess move on...or stop holding grudges...It makes me feel hurt inside. I know that some of the things I've done were horrible. But I guess...if people would still want to listen, they'd know exactly how I felt about it. Not even listen....maybe pay closer attention to me physically? Its not a weight thing...No, this would require people to actually open up their eyes. The only people who have actually...well, one of them is Jessy-baby. The rest well...they don't even live here in Rhode Island.
Happy fucking 4th everyone
She left me a message saying she was going to Panera with Kay and Tyler and asked if I could come along. How sweet. I agreed and met up with them around noon-ish. Not really the hanging out I wanted with her. Wanted it to be more intimate...meaning us two walking through wickford talking. Not us two, with Kay and Tyler, listening to them pretty much tell us the entire movie of Transformers...they've become obsessed for those of you who haven't been around them yet.
I updated Erika on Chris. She updated me on her new boyfriend. And that was basically it. Didn't really get to tell her what I wanted to. Which makes me upset. Which is probably why I feel like crap right now. And probably the fact that those three were talking about how their work was going to be today...and I had nothing to contribute. It made me almost want to cry and just leave.
I can't seem to do a few things as of this point in my life: 1. Get a job. I really cannot get one. I've applied to so many places...called them back, and nothing in return. 2. Talk to my dad. Ever since Father's Day...its been just...quiet and neutral between us. I went from perky guy to refined, quiet guy when he came to Martha's Vineyard. Then once he left, I was all perky again. My aunt noticed that even before me. And 3. I can't seem to get a hold of this person. I text her, I leave her IMs...I even comment on her LJ.
I guess some people still hold things against me...even after I've apologized and even tried to make it work again. I mean Maddy didn't even trust me with something to tell me because I have a "tendency to blab it it out" says Kathy. It just sucks that people can't just...I guess move on...or stop holding grudges...It makes me feel hurt inside. I know that some of the things I've done were horrible. But I guess...if people would still want to listen, they'd know exactly how I felt about it. Not even listen....maybe pay closer attention to me physically? Its not a weight thing...No, this would require people to actually open up their eyes. The only people who have actually...well, one of them is Jessy-baby. The rest well...they don't even live here in Rhode Island.
Happy fucking 4th everyone