I thought I had a post like this but apparently not! I've put (nb) next to the games with non binary options and (mm) next to games that include m/m paths. I haven't labelled games with m/f paths because that's pretty much all of them!
If you want even more, English Otome Games has a list of dating sims with a female protagonist and
male and female or
only female love interests, and
Hella Yuri curates a list of games with wlw characters on Steam.
Recs:
(nb)(mm)
Hustle Cat: Great light fantasy, about an androgynous 19 year old whose pronouns you choose who gets a job at a cafe whose employees are cursed to turn into cats. Male and female love interests, all really endearing. There's a final True Path with a male love interest but all the paths felt satisfying as stand alone stories. The only completed dating sim I know of with a non binary protagonist.
Magical Diary: Really cute Harry Potter-esque dating/time management sim where you're a 15 year old girl who just found out she has magical powers and has been accepted to not!Hogwarts. Your love interests are not!Ginny, not!Hermione (crossed with Neville, she's pretty shy), not!Fred/George (there's just one ;)), not!Snape, and a bisexual morally ambiguous blue demon dude with wings. Aside from the dating it's a good story with enough different approaches and room for character customisation/roleplaying that replays are fun.
We Know the Devil Really amazing, atmospheric story about three queer teens at a weird alternate universe bible camp.
Cute Demon Crashers: surprisingly cute game about a sexually frustrated young woman who meets three incubi and one succubi who offer to introduce her to sex. No romance, just friends with benefits, but they're cute friendships and there's a strong emphasis on the player/main character consenting to everything and being able to stop at any time (I've only played the f/f route but the others seem similar)
Great but not quite dating sims:
Analogue: a Hate Story: A great game but didn't feel exactly like a dating sim, and the player's gender is pretty superficial. You play a researcher investigating what happened to an empty colony ship. Lots of reading through sometimes harrowing historical documents and having conversations with two female AIs, who you can form relationships with.
(mm)
Stardew Valley: mostly a farming sim, but has friendship and romance paths with the villagers. The main character can be male or female and the love interests are a mixture of male and female. The romances I've played have been simple but cute, and it's an amazing game if you like wasting hours of your life chopping down trees and planting crops.
(mm) Dragon Age and Mass Effect series': Bioware RPGs. Mostly about the male or female protagonist killing stuff and making decisions about saving the world/universe but do have some very well written male and female romances.
Long Live the Queen: Well made but fiendishly difficult raising sim where you help a new young queen survive to her coronation. I always died well before the f/f, I've heard it's pretty minor.
Brilliant Shadows: coming of age fantasy visual novel about a lesbian necromancer. Mostly pretty cute, if rough around the edges in parts, and though the romance aspect is very minor she ends up happy with a girlfriend. The treatment of a background f/f couple was not fantastic though.
I hear these are good but haven't played them:
Black Closet: Procedural intrigue at a girls school. The demo was intimidatingly complex for my fuzzy brain. Multiple female love interests.
A Little Lily Princess f/f dating sim about little girls based on "A Little Princess". The demo refuses to load on my computer! The little girl aspect kinda creeps me out, too, but is apparently handled cutely.
Strawberry Vinegar Cute f/f about a young girl and a demon.
Not totally terrible:
Seduce Me: Free and has 3 fairly enjoyable f/f routes! But the m/f routes are much more beefy and central to the story, about a teenage girl who has five incubus brothers magically appear in her house. The female love interests are her two best friends and a sexy succubus.
(nb)-ish
Astoria: fate's Kiss: Mobile game about a female employee at a company that wrangles Greek mythical figures. I bought the one f/f path, for Medusa, and it was ok but I got bored and didn't enjoy the mobile format. Also the worldbuilding didn't convince me. The main character's boss is non binary and possibly going to become a love interest? The company that made it, Voltage USA, have a bunch of other similar games.
Heileen 3: Sea Maidens: mediocre f/f game on a piratey trading ship. It's a spinoff of an m/f game and there's lots of m/f flirting/feels they didn't bother rewriting, but the actual LIs are all women. I found most of the paths kind of squicky for one reason or another (eg one is sort of your mother?!) but beggars can't be choosers and there are some cute moments. Apparently Heileen 1 and 2 are dire, and it makes sense without them.
(mm)
Roommates: Moderately enjoyable teen college hijinks. Has only one f/f route, which is ok. Another game from Winter Wolves, the company that made Heileen, and they have several other f/f games that didn't look very appealing to me but some people like.
Kindred Spirits on the Roof Two spirits help with various highschool f/f romances. Mostly cute but aimed at dudes so it's actively Not Queer, sometimes creepy about consent etc.
Promising looking unfinished games:
(nb)
Date or Die: Amazing, weird story about a woman who finds herself on a "tv show" with a bunch of other people where they must find love OR DIE. Currently only has demo paths for two of the male love interests but will have female and non binary interests in the final game.
Seven Kingdoms: The Princess Problem: very well made fantasy game about a young noble woman sent to a diplomatic summit to find a politically suitable partner. Lots of clever worldbuilding and intrigue, and very much suits replaying since there's a huge variety of backgrounds and approaches to choose from. Tends to focus too much on the male love interests, but the female ones are still interesting. The demo paths make for moderately satisfying romances that stop at the "declaring your feelings" moment.
(nb)(mm)
Long Story: Highschooler whose gender you choose has multiple male and female love interests. I've only played the free first episode but it was pretty fun, and they're coming up on the final episode soon.
(nb)(mm)
Love Hues: College student of your chosen gender chooses from male, female, and non binary love interests. Demo is pretty short and rough round the edges and the developer has had delays, but I feel the need to support any game this inclusive and cute.
Fun games with blink and you'll miss it f/f:
Hatoful Boyfriend: Everyone's favourite pigeon dating sim. It's pretty great, but I was way oversold on the f/f, which is a SINGLE AMBIGUOUS PARAGRAPH tacked onto an already short friendship path.
The Royal Trap: The f/f is on a male character's friendship path and really minor. Also this game is pretty transphobic, though it means well. Other than that it's a fun fantasy intrigue story about the female bodyguard of a prince, and the m/f paths are enjoyable.
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