Title: split my belly (with a hunting knife)
Rating: R, mild mention (literally only a mention) of slash.
Spoilers: through S3, slightly AU in a detail or two
Sark-centric, mentions other characters
Six first times, two men, five women.
Note: punctuation is intentional.
Note 2: title is from Sark's line to Sloane in "Rendezvous," about what he expected Sloane to do to him.
the first time julian is fourteen and yes, far too young for this, but it happens anyway, and she steps away afterward, leaving him alone in his bed. sydney is older than he is, irina thinks, and she never goes back.
--
the first time julian is eighteen and out on his own for the first time, pretending to be french in aix, and he comes across a pretty brunette in a bar that reminds him of the picture irina showed him, once upon a time, and it’s distracting from the mission and it shouldn’t happen but it happens anyway.
--
the first time julian is twenty and it’s not his choice; it’s the mission’s choice; and he hasn’t been with a man before and it’s all wrong but it happens anyway. the arms dealer bites his neck and irina glances at it with a laugh the next time she sees him.
--
the first time julian is twenty two and he’s been in sd-6 custody for days when he makes it out and gets the blood transfusion, and then it’s los angeles and tippin and goddamn it, he’s ready for it. irina glares at him as he heads out of the building but he leaves to walk the streets and sees a girl and it happens anyway.
--
the first time julian is twenty four and he’s just lost his inheritance to the covenant when the lovely miss reed looks at him from across the conference table. he’s wearing handcuffs, part of the deal to save his neck from bomani, and she leaves them on. there’s something wrong about screwing the woman who is going to be marrying irina’s daughter’s ex, but julian pushes it to the back of his mind. lauren rakes her nails down his back and he’s bleeding and his wrists hurt but it happens anyway.
--
the first time julian is twenty five and julia should be in her thirties, he’s not had a chance to ask, not since bomani let her out of captivity two hours ago. he’s already inside and they’re up against the wall when he looks at her and steps back because this isn’t julia, this is sydney, this is irina-irina’s-and julian steps back, almost pulls out, but she looks at him and grabs his neck and it happens anyway, in front of the cameras, the covenant watching coldly on the other side.