cockamamie zoning law
You know those laws you hear about that small towns have had since antiquity that aren't really enforced or necessary or logical, like no spitting on the sidewalk in Birmingham, or no drying your laundry in a handicap parking space in Fayetteville, or no frowning on tuesday in Decatur? Well, in Honolulu its illegal for a residential property to have more than one full kitchen. Land being extremely finite here, most lots have two or three houses or apartments on them, ours being one. A full kitchen is defined as a sink, a refrigerator, and a cooking appliance, be it a stove, hot plate, microwave, hibachi, etc. Because most of the city is in violation of this law, it is by and large ignored. If, however, one's neighbor gets pissy with one's landlord, as is our case but you probably figured that out by now, they can report said landlord and a building inspector will show up tomorrow afternoon to see if we do indeed have a full kitchen. This is not a case of a fine or paying extra property taxes, it is either remove one of the aforementioned elements comprising a full kitchen, or tear down the fucking building. !?!?!?!?!!!! No landowner in Hawaii is allowed to have two kitchens! Period. No, exclamation point! So tonight Allen, my kindly old landlord and I had to move our goddamn refrigerator into the carport and cover it with a tarp and leave it there until the inspector leaves. Tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully no one will notice that it is plugged in and steal our food while we sleep tonight or work tomorrow. Hopefully no one in town is reading this post.