Fic: Syncopation (7/8)
Summary: When standing still is not an option, you just have to find a way to keep dancing anyway.
Rating: probably going to hit R/NC-17 eventually, lower for now.
A/N: Warnings for Burt being sick! Slight age difference between Kurt and Blaine (third year at NYADA and high school senior). Yes, this was supposed to be seven chapters, but the last one kept getting longer and longer so I cut it off here and split it in two. The last chapter will be up as soon as I finish it! Thanks so much for your patience!
**
On Sunday, his dad comes home.
He almost hadn't believed, for a moment, that it would actually happen. For a moment, during those endless minutes they had waited in the hospital just two days earlier, he'd thought he'd never get another chance of speaking with him, watching TV with him, cooking dinner for him, telling him about his life.
His dad is weak and he looks it - the journey from the hospital back to their house tires him out so much he takes a nap in his chair in the living room as soon as they're back. It's hard not to see this as a setback when that's so obviously what it is. He'd been getting stronger, and now he sleeps in the middle of the day. But at least he's home and the doctors had sounded very hopeful, and Kurt knows they can't afford to move anywhere but forward, he has to be optimistic about all of this and believe that it will get better.
He takes his dad's bag upstairs, unpacks it for him while Carole stays downstairs.
It's lunch time and he's made plans with Blaine for the afternoon - he does feel a little bad for skipping out again so soon after his dad has come home but it's just for coffee. He'll be back in no time. He just really wants to see Blaine. He needs to see him. Just for an hour. He needs to see him and hear his voice and touch his hand and be kissed by him and held by him and cared for in this way that makes him feel warm all the way down to his toes. He just wants Blaine. A lot.
But he also wants to stay in; the idea of leaving his dad right now when he only just got him back is so scary and feels wrong and he's torn, doesn't know what to do, wishes he could do everything at once. Or at least, he thinks, he'd like to know what the right thing to do is - his dad doesn't want him to put his life on hold, but caring for his family is a part of his life. One of the most important ones. It always has been.
He takes his time putting things away, not to stall, just because this matters too. It matters that someone does this for his father, it matters that someone takes care of his possessions and his living space when he's in no state to do it for himself. It matters that someone goes over some of the paperwork for the garage while he can't do it, and Kurt reminds himself to get started on that tonight after dinner. And right now his dad is asleep anyway, it's not as if Kurt could be spending time with him this very minute if he wanted to.
By the time he makes it back downstairs he's almost made up his mind to cancel on Blaine - he wants him so desperately, too desperately, but this is his family right here and he can't be selfish; he can't skip out on them on a day like this. It feels big, somehow, and maybe he's over-thinking everything, but he thinks he needs to be here. And maybe staying in is actually the selfish thing to do, he doesn't know, he just isn't sure anymore, but he's tired and he just wants things to be easy, for once. They just never are and no amount of wishing ever changes that.
The thought of not getting to see Blaine today sits heavily in his chest, and he knows that canceling their date now, even if it was just coffee, is going to appear rude no matter how he words it. Blaine has been so supportive these past few days. More than supportive. He's been caring and kind and understanding; he's been the best friend and the most attentive boyfriend that Kurt could ever wish for.
Boyfriend. The word makes him pause, standing in the kitchen doorway for a second, feeling so much he's afraid he's going to burst.
Blaine is his boyfriend, isn't he? Blaine cares about him, quite obviously and Kurt - Kurt can't find the words to describe his feelings for Blaine. He's not sure that there are any words for this. Blaine is - he's simply wonderful. Whatever he's done right in his life to have this now, he feels endlessly grateful.
It feels important, serious, relevant in a way that nothing else has before. His one months-long relationship during freshman year hadn't felt like this, even when things were good. He's been with Blaine for all of a few days and it already feels like … more. He can't explain it, can't put it into words, but he feels it.
Maybe it should be scary. Maybe he should take a step back and look at this with a clear head, analyze it, figure out what it means. But … he needs this. Maybe too much. Right now, he doesn't care.
“You look worried,” Carole says, walking past him into the kitchen, opening the fridge to get started on putting lunch together.
Kurt clears his throat, pulls himself forcefully out of his thoughts. “No, I'm fine,” he says. “Just tired.”
She nods, and he knows she can relate to that. “When are you going out with Blaine?”
He shakes his head. “I don't know yet if we're actually going or not.”
She looks confused. “Everything okay with you two?”
“Oh! Yes. We're fine.” He walks all the way into the kitchen, runs a fingertip over the smooth wooden surface of the kitchen counter, staring down at his hand. “I just - I feel like maybe I should be here today instead.”
“To do what?” Carole wants to know.
He shrugs. “I should be with dad today. Now that he's home.”
“He won't mind,” Carole assures him. “He worries about you. You deserve to have a nice time with your boyfriend for a few hours.”
“But -” he looks up at her. “I just - I don't know. I just don't know, Carole.” He sighs.
She looks at him thoughtfully, then takes a determined step closer and pulls him into a quick but tight hug. “I get it,” she says, pulling back to meet his eyes with her hands still on his shoulders, squeezing lightly. “Believe me, I do.”
“Thank you. I know.”
“I'm sure Blaine wouldn't mind having coffee with you here instead. And your dad might like to meet him.”
Kurt blushes. “We've been dating for five minutes, I don't know if it's time for him yet to meet dad -”
“He met me,” she reminds him. “And he didn't run away screaming.”
“Well, you're amazing,” Kurt tells her, grinning.
“I am,” she agrees, grinning back, then turns serious again. “Really, Kurt. If you guys wanted to stay here instead, that would be more than okay. Your dad would be happy for you. And so am I. You know that.”
He nods gratefully, bites his lip as he leans back against the counter, thinking. It does seem like a good compromise. It also seems like kind of a big step. And his dad needs rest.
“On the other hand,” she says, “If you do want to be able to help your dad, you need to take care of yourself too. You know? Recharge the batteries every now and then so you have the energy for -” she shrugs, waves a hand. “All of this. It's a lot.”
“Yeah. It is.”
“So go out. You're not getting on a flight to Europe. You'll be a few minutes away by car. It's okay, Kurt.”
He nods at her, smiles. “What about you, though? When do you get out to take your break?”
She laughs, eyes warm as she shakes her head at him. “I'll call my friend Rosa tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay,” he agrees, bumping their shoulders together as he turns toward the counter. “Need help with lunch?”
**
He doesn't cancel on Blaine. It's not that he's a hundred percent sure he wants to go out, but every time he picks up the phone to tell him they can't do today, he just can't stand the thought of not seeing him.
So at half past three on the dot, the doorbell rings, and he tries to dodge Carole's knowing smirk as he hurries from the living room where his dad is reading the sports section while she's just starting a new book Kurt had recommended to her a few days before.
He opens the door to Blaine's smiling face and he can't control the way his own face just explodes into an answering smile, or the way his heart jumps in his chest happily, or the way his knees go weak as his arms reach for him before he's all the way in the house.
With a happy little sound he's fallen into his arms and has his face stuffed into the crook of his neck, breathing him in hungrily as he rubs his nose against the faint stubble on the underside of his jaw.
“Hello,” Blaine says, wrapping him in a tight hug, voice a mix between breathy and amused. “It's good to see you too.”
Kurt laughs, it feels so good to laugh. “I've missed you.”
“You saw me last night.”
“Doesn't matter.”
“I know.” Blaine squeezes him tighter. “I've missed you too.”
And Kurt can't worry about going too fast, falling too quickly, rushing things between them. They've known each other for two weeks, have been on two dates if they count the one that started at the hospital and ended horizontally on the couch, and he needs him. There is nothing he can do about it. He doesn't trust easily, but when Blaine holds him, he has never felt safer.
“How are you?” Blaine asks, quietly, his breath brushing across Kurt's cheek as Kurt does his best to try and melt into him so he'll never never have to let go.
“I'm fine,” he promises and pulls back to kiss him; and it's true, he does feel fine. Better than fine. He feels happy. And that's all because of Blaine.
Blaine kisses back immediately, one hand cupping the back of Kurt's neck in that way he seems to like. Kurt loves that he's starting to memorize all these little details. And he really likes Blaine's hands on him. A lot.
“Is that the boyfriend?” A voice comes from the living room, and Kurt breaks the kiss with a short laugh, knocks his forehead off Blaine's.
Blaine keeps his eyes closed, grins a little embarrassed grin.
“My dad,” Kurt explains, and Blaine nods in understanding.
“I figured.”
Kurt lifts his head, calls back down the hall, “Yes, it is, and he has a name too!”
“Well, get him in here,” Burt calls back and Kurt can hear Carole chuckling in the background.
Family. At least you can always count on them to be weird, no matter the circumstances.
He raises his eyebrows at Blaine, indicating the direction to the living room with his head. “You don't have to, but -”
“Lead the way.” Blaine slides a hand down Kurt's arm to find his hand and link their fingers together, squeezing lightly. “I guess it's only polite if I introduce myself.”
Kurt laughs and gives him another quick kiss on his smiling mouth, because Blaine is the cutest thing ever and he's his boyfriend. “Okay. Thank you.”
He leads him down the hall, their hands holding onto each other - they know who Blaine is to him and there's no sense in hiding any of it. Still, he is very much aware of the fact that this is a first. He has never introduced a boyfriend to his family - because there has never been anyone who actually made it that far. Not even Adam. No one has been important enough to meet his dad yet.
Burt sits in his arm chair, blanket over his legs and newspaper on his knees as they enter the living room. He meets them with a level glance, and Kurt knows he's doing his best to look intimidating even if he can't quite hide the pleased grin on his face at the sight of the two of them holding hands.
“Dad,” Kurt says, putting his other hand on Blaine's shoulder. “This is Blaine.”
Burt nods, picking up the newspaper and putting it away onto the small end table next to his chair. “Yeah. I figured.” He clears his throat, looks both of them up and down. “Nice to meet you, Blaine. And sorry for not getting up, I -”
“That's okay, Mr. Hummel,” Blaine says, letting go of Kurt's hand to cross the room, extending a hand for Kurt's dad to shake. “It's nice to meet you too!”
Kurt watches as the two shake hands firmly and can't help but feel relieved; they seem relaxed around each other.
“Kurt's been talking about you a lot,” Burt says, and Kurt feels himself blush, lowers his eyes as he bites his lip, but doesn't protest. Because, well. It's true.
Blaine's smile is shy but pleased. “Oh. Um. I -”
“We're just going out for coffee, okay?” Kurt tells his dad. “I'll be back in an hour and then we can -”
“You kids go and have fun,” Burt insists, waving them on with one hand. “I have Carole to fuss over me, you can take the evening shift,” he tells Kurt, voice amused but firm.
“Well -” Kurt hesitates. “I made you some of that tea you like. It's in the kitchen. And for dinner I thought -”
“Go,” Burt insists. “Have your coffee. Get out of the house. We'll be fine.”
Kurt lets out a short laugh, feeling a little nervous, still a little unsure of what to do. But then he looks over at Blaine, at that patient look on his face as he waits for Kurt, and he knows that if he suggested staying in, Blaine would be fine with it. If he suggested going out some other day, Blaine wouldn't object. If they go out and in ten minutes Kurt decides that he has to be back here, Blaine will be fine with that too.
“Okay,” he says, and suddenly he does feel better, just making the decision feels like a weight lifted off of his chest. Blaine smiles a small, tentative smile and Kurt smiles back at him, walks over to his dad to press a quick kiss to his bald head. “I won't be long.”
“It's okay if you are, though,” Burt promises, giving him one of those pointed looks Kurt knows so well, as if he's trying to stare him down.
He laughs, and takes Blaine's hand in his own as he leads him from the living room and out towards the hall to put his shoes on.
**
Blaine drives them to the Lima Bean, and once again Kurt is overwhelmed with how easy it is to just talk to him, about everything and nothing. Blaine tells him about the time his brother visited him at school and handed out signed headshots to the entire faculty and the Warblers council, and Kurt laughs, leans back in his seat, head rolled to the side against the backrest so he can look at his lovely profile, take him in and just fill up on this all-consuming feeling of lightness Blaine evokes in him. He feels weightless and yet so firmly grounded, so in the moment. There is nowhere he'd rather be than right here with Blaine and it doesn't matter whether 'here' is in a car or the Lima Bean or his dad's house or the moon. As long as he has Blaine, he'll be okay. He can feel it.
Blaine finishes his story and bites his lip as the corner of his mouth flutters in a self-conscious little grin. “You're staring,” he says.
Kurt shrugs, doesn't look away, can't even feel embarrassed. “You're beautiful,” he says simply.
“Hah. Um.” Blaine clears his throat, chuckles. “- Thanks.”
Kurt lifts his shoulders again, grins at him. “It's true.”
“Well.” Blaine pulls into the Lima Bean parking lot, cuts off the engine, blinks over at Kurt from under his dark and thick lashes. “I could say the same about you!”
Kurt just smiles at him almost lazily, reaches across at him to take his hand, which Blaine willingly offers. “Have I thanked you yet for being here for me through all of this?”
Blaine threads their fingers together, smiles back. “You have. Several times. And I have assured you several times that you don't have to, because I really like being there for you. If anything I do will make you feel just a little better, then -” He shrugs, lifts their joined hands to kiss the backs of Kurt's fingers. “I like doing it. Plus, I get to spend time with you. Which is kind of all I want to do right now.”
He doesn't know what to say to that, he has no experience with this, with being looked at like he's precious. But his heart beats steady and calm in his chest, completely sure of this in all its wonderful magnitude as he leans over across the gear shift to kiss Blaine, and Blaine meets him halfway, doesn't hesitate for a second.
The kiss is short and almost unbearably sweet; Kurt thinks he'd like to find a better way of thanking Blaine but for now this is the best way he has of expressing just what all of this means to him. And it's when their lips finally meet that the rising emotions make him tremble with gratitude and affection.
For weeks he's felt as if he was suffocating under the weight of his own life, his responsibilities, his tender heart aching with the knowledge of his dad's illness, the pain of loving someone so much who could be gone any moment.
Now his heart aches in a whole new way, it's a pleasurable ache that swells into unbearable happiness whenever Blaine is near, all-consuming, almost violent joy that takes over every cell of his body when Blaine touches him.
And by some stroke of luck, Blaine likes him too, holds his hand, kisses him, takes care of him.
“Blaine,” Kurt whispers, and because he feels he has to say something after that, “Can I buy you a Thank You cookie?”
Blaine's lifts the hand that isn't holding Kurt's, cups Kurt's cheek so gently in his palm, his thumb caressing the sensitive skin under his eye. “I'm not gonna say no to that,” Blaine says, quietly, and kisses him again, slowly, softly, carefully.
Kurt feels Blaine's eyelashes against his cheek and opens his mouth for him, unafraid and eager; he's completely helpless against this feeling and he knows it. But this is the kind of weakness that he draws strength from. It means a lot to him, that he gets to have this.
**
Inside the Lima Bean, they sit across the table from each other, hands wrapped around their coffee mugs, and Blaine won't stop grinning at him, that wide, happy grin that makes Kurt feel like he can accomplish anything.
He nudges Blaine's leg with his foot under the table, grins back. “You look cheerful.”
Blaine shrugs, takes a slow sip of his coffee, meets his eyes firmly and steadily as his grin grows even wider. “I'm just ridiculously happy.”
Kurt feels the laugh shuddering out of him, heart jumping in his chest as he ducks his head, trying to hide his blush.
“I mean,” Blaine leans forward, reaching out a hand, his fingers resting against Kurt's on the table top. “I'm sorry. I know this is a tough time for you and I don't mean to make light of what you're going through, I just -”
“Blaine,” Kurt cuts him off, lifting his head so Blaine can see his face, not even trying to hide what he's feeling. “I know. And yes, things are - they are difficult right now, and a lot of it is scary and not good, but this -” he takes his hand back to gesture between them, “This is good. It's really good.”
Blaine's eyes are so kind. “Really?”
“I promise,” Kurt says. “You're - Blaine, right now, I'm happy.”
“I hope so,” Blaine says softly. “I want you to be.”
**
They talk for what feels like hours, moving from topic to topic as easily as if they'd known each other for years instead of just two weeks.
Blaine tells him about the Warblers' impromptu performances all over school and how they're usually well-timed to get one of the council members out of an especially hated class.
“Wait,” Kurt interrupts, wide-eyed, amused. “When you guys sing, people don't have to go to class?”
Blaine shakes his head. “It's kind of awesome. As long as we don't overdo it, teachers will excuse absences due to spontaneous performances. Some of the time, they're there listening themselves.”
Kurt shakes his head at him. “That sounds completely amazing. Not only did nobody care about glee club at McKinley, but to make matters worse a lot of the time we even had things thrown at us. Slushies, mostly. A shoe, that one time. And no one did anything about that, not really.”
Blaine raises both eyebrows at him. “Someone threw a shoe at you? Please tell me that was enough to get a teacher to step in to interfere!”
Kurt shrugs, grins at him. “It was a teacher who threw it in the first place!”
“Oh my god!” Blaine laughs. “What kind of a school did you even go to? I mean. I get it. The school I went to before Dalton - yeah.”
Kurt nods. “But at least we did perform outside the school a lot. Not just to get away from the hostile environments, it wasn't always better somewhere else. But we didn't just sing for audiences.” He rolls his eyes. “The New Directions loved their karaoke nights. Those were always interesting. The few times they actually managed to get organized enough to go through with them, at least.”
“The Warblers have those too,” Blaine says, pauses, tilts his head at him. “Any chance I can make you accompany me to the next one?”
Kurt squints his eyes at him, taps a finger against his chin. “Will I have to wear a blazer?”
“We don't always wear our uniforms, you know?” Blaine shakes his head at him.
Kurt sweeps his gaze across Blaine's snug-fitting polo shirt, nods appreciatively. “I can see that.”
“So you can wear whatever you want. But you will have to sing.”
“An opportunity to dress up and sing in front of people?” Kurt says. “Count me in!”
“I'll try to get my friend Jeff to put together a karaoke night soon,” Blaine says. “He has this great basement that his parents let us use - you'll like it. It has a stage.”
“My friend Rachel had a stage in her basement,” Kurt says. “You know, Hiram and LeRoy from the dance studio. She's their daughter.”
“Well, they seem like the kind of people who'd have a stage in the basement.”
“I know, right?”
“So, that's where you'd hang out on the weekends?” he wants to know.
Kurt shrugs. “Sometimes. Rachel and I - we only started becoming really close during senior year when it turned out we were both headed for New York. I spent a lot of time at my dad's garage before. He let me work there to make some extra money. You know. For New York.”
“You always knew it was going to be New York for you?”
Kurt shrugs. “I always knew I wanted to do musical theater. New York is kind of where it all happens, you know? Also, it's not here, so -”
Blaine chuckles. “Yeah, I get that. That's pretty much why I want to go there too.”
“And now if you do, you'll already know someone there,” Kurt says, and Blaine smiles, hooks their ankles together under the table.
“If I actually do get into NYADA,” Blaine says.
“We'll start working on your audition next week. I'll help you. You can do it!”
Blaine flutters his lashes at him, mouth twitching. “Yeah but -” he lowers his head a bit, blinks up at him. “Maybe you won't want to hang out with me once I'm there. You'll be in your last year and I'll just be this embarrassing freshman following you around campus like a lost puppy -”
His heart hurts with joy just picturing it; walking across campus with Blaine's hand in his, sending each other off to class with a kiss and a smile, getting to introduce him as 'this is Blaine, my boyfriend.' He wants it.
Silence stretches for a few moments and Kurt thinks about, only for the briefest of moments, going back to New York, for the beginning of next semester, and Blaine staying here, thinks about Blaine following him a few months later and wonders what they'll be to each other then, whether or not this will last. But he quickly pushes the thought down, he has enough to worry about as it is. And he and Blaine have been dating since Wednesday. It seems too early to consider all of this.
“Maybe you'll be the one who won't want to be seen with me,” he suggests. “You know, you're finally at college, free to do whatever you want, and then there's this old guy constantly showing up everywhere totally cramping your style -”
Blaine laughs, eyes sparkling as he looks at Kurt. “I'm not worried about that,” he says. “Trust me.”
And the thing is, Kurt does.
Rating: probably going to hit R/NC-17 eventually, lower for now.
A/N: Warnings for Burt being sick! Slight age difference between Kurt and Blaine (third year at NYADA and high school senior). Yes, this was supposed to be seven chapters, but the last one kept getting longer and longer so I cut it off here and split it in two. The last chapter will be up as soon as I finish it! Thanks so much for your patience!
**
On Sunday, his dad comes home.
He almost hadn't believed, for a moment, that it would actually happen. For a moment, during those endless minutes they had waited in the hospital just two days earlier, he'd thought he'd never get another chance of speaking with him, watching TV with him, cooking dinner for him, telling him about his life.
His dad is weak and he looks it - the journey from the hospital back to their house tires him out so much he takes a nap in his chair in the living room as soon as they're back. It's hard not to see this as a setback when that's so obviously what it is. He'd been getting stronger, and now he sleeps in the middle of the day. But at least he's home and the doctors had sounded very hopeful, and Kurt knows they can't afford to move anywhere but forward, he has to be optimistic about all of this and believe that it will get better.
He takes his dad's bag upstairs, unpacks it for him while Carole stays downstairs.
It's lunch time and he's made plans with Blaine for the afternoon - he does feel a little bad for skipping out again so soon after his dad has come home but it's just for coffee. He'll be back in no time. He just really wants to see Blaine. He needs to see him. Just for an hour. He needs to see him and hear his voice and touch his hand and be kissed by him and held by him and cared for in this way that makes him feel warm all the way down to his toes. He just wants Blaine. A lot.
But he also wants to stay in; the idea of leaving his dad right now when he only just got him back is so scary and feels wrong and he's torn, doesn't know what to do, wishes he could do everything at once. Or at least, he thinks, he'd like to know what the right thing to do is - his dad doesn't want him to put his life on hold, but caring for his family is a part of his life. One of the most important ones. It always has been.
He takes his time putting things away, not to stall, just because this matters too. It matters that someone does this for his father, it matters that someone takes care of his possessions and his living space when he's in no state to do it for himself. It matters that someone goes over some of the paperwork for the garage while he can't do it, and Kurt reminds himself to get started on that tonight after dinner. And right now his dad is asleep anyway, it's not as if Kurt could be spending time with him this very minute if he wanted to.
By the time he makes it back downstairs he's almost made up his mind to cancel on Blaine - he wants him so desperately, too desperately, but this is his family right here and he can't be selfish; he can't skip out on them on a day like this. It feels big, somehow, and maybe he's over-thinking everything, but he thinks he needs to be here. And maybe staying in is actually the selfish thing to do, he doesn't know, he just isn't sure anymore, but he's tired and he just wants things to be easy, for once. They just never are and no amount of wishing ever changes that.
The thought of not getting to see Blaine today sits heavily in his chest, and he knows that canceling their date now, even if it was just coffee, is going to appear rude no matter how he words it. Blaine has been so supportive these past few days. More than supportive. He's been caring and kind and understanding; he's been the best friend and the most attentive boyfriend that Kurt could ever wish for.
Boyfriend. The word makes him pause, standing in the kitchen doorway for a second, feeling so much he's afraid he's going to burst.
Blaine is his boyfriend, isn't he? Blaine cares about him, quite obviously and Kurt - Kurt can't find the words to describe his feelings for Blaine. He's not sure that there are any words for this. Blaine is - he's simply wonderful. Whatever he's done right in his life to have this now, he feels endlessly grateful.
It feels important, serious, relevant in a way that nothing else has before. His one months-long relationship during freshman year hadn't felt like this, even when things were good. He's been with Blaine for all of a few days and it already feels like … more. He can't explain it, can't put it into words, but he feels it.
Maybe it should be scary. Maybe he should take a step back and look at this with a clear head, analyze it, figure out what it means. But … he needs this. Maybe too much. Right now, he doesn't care.
“You look worried,” Carole says, walking past him into the kitchen, opening the fridge to get started on putting lunch together.
Kurt clears his throat, pulls himself forcefully out of his thoughts. “No, I'm fine,” he says. “Just tired.”
She nods, and he knows she can relate to that. “When are you going out with Blaine?”
He shakes his head. “I don't know yet if we're actually going or not.”
She looks confused. “Everything okay with you two?”
“Oh! Yes. We're fine.” He walks all the way into the kitchen, runs a fingertip over the smooth wooden surface of the kitchen counter, staring down at his hand. “I just - I feel like maybe I should be here today instead.”
“To do what?” Carole wants to know.
He shrugs. “I should be with dad today. Now that he's home.”
“He won't mind,” Carole assures him. “He worries about you. You deserve to have a nice time with your boyfriend for a few hours.”
“But -” he looks up at her. “I just - I don't know. I just don't know, Carole.” He sighs.
She looks at him thoughtfully, then takes a determined step closer and pulls him into a quick but tight hug. “I get it,” she says, pulling back to meet his eyes with her hands still on his shoulders, squeezing lightly. “Believe me, I do.”
“Thank you. I know.”
“I'm sure Blaine wouldn't mind having coffee with you here instead. And your dad might like to meet him.”
Kurt blushes. “We've been dating for five minutes, I don't know if it's time for him yet to meet dad -”
“He met me,” she reminds him. “And he didn't run away screaming.”
“Well, you're amazing,” Kurt tells her, grinning.
“I am,” she agrees, grinning back, then turns serious again. “Really, Kurt. If you guys wanted to stay here instead, that would be more than okay. Your dad would be happy for you. And so am I. You know that.”
He nods gratefully, bites his lip as he leans back against the counter, thinking. It does seem like a good compromise. It also seems like kind of a big step. And his dad needs rest.
“On the other hand,” she says, “If you do want to be able to help your dad, you need to take care of yourself too. You know? Recharge the batteries every now and then so you have the energy for -” she shrugs, waves a hand. “All of this. It's a lot.”
“Yeah. It is.”
“So go out. You're not getting on a flight to Europe. You'll be a few minutes away by car. It's okay, Kurt.”
He nods at her, smiles. “What about you, though? When do you get out to take your break?”
She laughs, eyes warm as she shakes her head at him. “I'll call my friend Rosa tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay,” he agrees, bumping their shoulders together as he turns toward the counter. “Need help with lunch?”
**
He doesn't cancel on Blaine. It's not that he's a hundred percent sure he wants to go out, but every time he picks up the phone to tell him they can't do today, he just can't stand the thought of not seeing him.
So at half past three on the dot, the doorbell rings, and he tries to dodge Carole's knowing smirk as he hurries from the living room where his dad is reading the sports section while she's just starting a new book Kurt had recommended to her a few days before.
He opens the door to Blaine's smiling face and he can't control the way his own face just explodes into an answering smile, or the way his heart jumps in his chest happily, or the way his knees go weak as his arms reach for him before he's all the way in the house.
With a happy little sound he's fallen into his arms and has his face stuffed into the crook of his neck, breathing him in hungrily as he rubs his nose against the faint stubble on the underside of his jaw.
“Hello,” Blaine says, wrapping him in a tight hug, voice a mix between breathy and amused. “It's good to see you too.”
Kurt laughs, it feels so good to laugh. “I've missed you.”
“You saw me last night.”
“Doesn't matter.”
“I know.” Blaine squeezes him tighter. “I've missed you too.”
And Kurt can't worry about going too fast, falling too quickly, rushing things between them. They've known each other for two weeks, have been on two dates if they count the one that started at the hospital and ended horizontally on the couch, and he needs him. There is nothing he can do about it. He doesn't trust easily, but when Blaine holds him, he has never felt safer.
“How are you?” Blaine asks, quietly, his breath brushing across Kurt's cheek as Kurt does his best to try and melt into him so he'll never never have to let go.
“I'm fine,” he promises and pulls back to kiss him; and it's true, he does feel fine. Better than fine. He feels happy. And that's all because of Blaine.
Blaine kisses back immediately, one hand cupping the back of Kurt's neck in that way he seems to like. Kurt loves that he's starting to memorize all these little details. And he really likes Blaine's hands on him. A lot.
“Is that the boyfriend?” A voice comes from the living room, and Kurt breaks the kiss with a short laugh, knocks his forehead off Blaine's.
Blaine keeps his eyes closed, grins a little embarrassed grin.
“My dad,” Kurt explains, and Blaine nods in understanding.
“I figured.”
Kurt lifts his head, calls back down the hall, “Yes, it is, and he has a name too!”
“Well, get him in here,” Burt calls back and Kurt can hear Carole chuckling in the background.
Family. At least you can always count on them to be weird, no matter the circumstances.
He raises his eyebrows at Blaine, indicating the direction to the living room with his head. “You don't have to, but -”
“Lead the way.” Blaine slides a hand down Kurt's arm to find his hand and link their fingers together, squeezing lightly. “I guess it's only polite if I introduce myself.”
Kurt laughs and gives him another quick kiss on his smiling mouth, because Blaine is the cutest thing ever and he's his boyfriend. “Okay. Thank you.”
He leads him down the hall, their hands holding onto each other - they know who Blaine is to him and there's no sense in hiding any of it. Still, he is very much aware of the fact that this is a first. He has never introduced a boyfriend to his family - because there has never been anyone who actually made it that far. Not even Adam. No one has been important enough to meet his dad yet.
Burt sits in his arm chair, blanket over his legs and newspaper on his knees as they enter the living room. He meets them with a level glance, and Kurt knows he's doing his best to look intimidating even if he can't quite hide the pleased grin on his face at the sight of the two of them holding hands.
“Dad,” Kurt says, putting his other hand on Blaine's shoulder. “This is Blaine.”
Burt nods, picking up the newspaper and putting it away onto the small end table next to his chair. “Yeah. I figured.” He clears his throat, looks both of them up and down. “Nice to meet you, Blaine. And sorry for not getting up, I -”
“That's okay, Mr. Hummel,” Blaine says, letting go of Kurt's hand to cross the room, extending a hand for Kurt's dad to shake. “It's nice to meet you too!”
Kurt watches as the two shake hands firmly and can't help but feel relieved; they seem relaxed around each other.
“Kurt's been talking about you a lot,” Burt says, and Kurt feels himself blush, lowers his eyes as he bites his lip, but doesn't protest. Because, well. It's true.
Blaine's smile is shy but pleased. “Oh. Um. I -”
“We're just going out for coffee, okay?” Kurt tells his dad. “I'll be back in an hour and then we can -”
“You kids go and have fun,” Burt insists, waving them on with one hand. “I have Carole to fuss over me, you can take the evening shift,” he tells Kurt, voice amused but firm.
“Well -” Kurt hesitates. “I made you some of that tea you like. It's in the kitchen. And for dinner I thought -”
“Go,” Burt insists. “Have your coffee. Get out of the house. We'll be fine.”
Kurt lets out a short laugh, feeling a little nervous, still a little unsure of what to do. But then he looks over at Blaine, at that patient look on his face as he waits for Kurt, and he knows that if he suggested staying in, Blaine would be fine with it. If he suggested going out some other day, Blaine wouldn't object. If they go out and in ten minutes Kurt decides that he has to be back here, Blaine will be fine with that too.
“Okay,” he says, and suddenly he does feel better, just making the decision feels like a weight lifted off of his chest. Blaine smiles a small, tentative smile and Kurt smiles back at him, walks over to his dad to press a quick kiss to his bald head. “I won't be long.”
“It's okay if you are, though,” Burt promises, giving him one of those pointed looks Kurt knows so well, as if he's trying to stare him down.
He laughs, and takes Blaine's hand in his own as he leads him from the living room and out towards the hall to put his shoes on.
**
Blaine drives them to the Lima Bean, and once again Kurt is overwhelmed with how easy it is to just talk to him, about everything and nothing. Blaine tells him about the time his brother visited him at school and handed out signed headshots to the entire faculty and the Warblers council, and Kurt laughs, leans back in his seat, head rolled to the side against the backrest so he can look at his lovely profile, take him in and just fill up on this all-consuming feeling of lightness Blaine evokes in him. He feels weightless and yet so firmly grounded, so in the moment. There is nowhere he'd rather be than right here with Blaine and it doesn't matter whether 'here' is in a car or the Lima Bean or his dad's house or the moon. As long as he has Blaine, he'll be okay. He can feel it.
Blaine finishes his story and bites his lip as the corner of his mouth flutters in a self-conscious little grin. “You're staring,” he says.
Kurt shrugs, doesn't look away, can't even feel embarrassed. “You're beautiful,” he says simply.
“Hah. Um.” Blaine clears his throat, chuckles. “- Thanks.”
Kurt lifts his shoulders again, grins at him. “It's true.”
“Well.” Blaine pulls into the Lima Bean parking lot, cuts off the engine, blinks over at Kurt from under his dark and thick lashes. “I could say the same about you!”
Kurt just smiles at him almost lazily, reaches across at him to take his hand, which Blaine willingly offers. “Have I thanked you yet for being here for me through all of this?”
Blaine threads their fingers together, smiles back. “You have. Several times. And I have assured you several times that you don't have to, because I really like being there for you. If anything I do will make you feel just a little better, then -” He shrugs, lifts their joined hands to kiss the backs of Kurt's fingers. “I like doing it. Plus, I get to spend time with you. Which is kind of all I want to do right now.”
He doesn't know what to say to that, he has no experience with this, with being looked at like he's precious. But his heart beats steady and calm in his chest, completely sure of this in all its wonderful magnitude as he leans over across the gear shift to kiss Blaine, and Blaine meets him halfway, doesn't hesitate for a second.
The kiss is short and almost unbearably sweet; Kurt thinks he'd like to find a better way of thanking Blaine but for now this is the best way he has of expressing just what all of this means to him. And it's when their lips finally meet that the rising emotions make him tremble with gratitude and affection.
For weeks he's felt as if he was suffocating under the weight of his own life, his responsibilities, his tender heart aching with the knowledge of his dad's illness, the pain of loving someone so much who could be gone any moment.
Now his heart aches in a whole new way, it's a pleasurable ache that swells into unbearable happiness whenever Blaine is near, all-consuming, almost violent joy that takes over every cell of his body when Blaine touches him.
And by some stroke of luck, Blaine likes him too, holds his hand, kisses him, takes care of him.
“Blaine,” Kurt whispers, and because he feels he has to say something after that, “Can I buy you a Thank You cookie?”
Blaine's lifts the hand that isn't holding Kurt's, cups Kurt's cheek so gently in his palm, his thumb caressing the sensitive skin under his eye. “I'm not gonna say no to that,” Blaine says, quietly, and kisses him again, slowly, softly, carefully.
Kurt feels Blaine's eyelashes against his cheek and opens his mouth for him, unafraid and eager; he's completely helpless against this feeling and he knows it. But this is the kind of weakness that he draws strength from. It means a lot to him, that he gets to have this.
**
Inside the Lima Bean, they sit across the table from each other, hands wrapped around their coffee mugs, and Blaine won't stop grinning at him, that wide, happy grin that makes Kurt feel like he can accomplish anything.
He nudges Blaine's leg with his foot under the table, grins back. “You look cheerful.”
Blaine shrugs, takes a slow sip of his coffee, meets his eyes firmly and steadily as his grin grows even wider. “I'm just ridiculously happy.”
Kurt feels the laugh shuddering out of him, heart jumping in his chest as he ducks his head, trying to hide his blush.
“I mean,” Blaine leans forward, reaching out a hand, his fingers resting against Kurt's on the table top. “I'm sorry. I know this is a tough time for you and I don't mean to make light of what you're going through, I just -”
“Blaine,” Kurt cuts him off, lifting his head so Blaine can see his face, not even trying to hide what he's feeling. “I know. And yes, things are - they are difficult right now, and a lot of it is scary and not good, but this -” he takes his hand back to gesture between them, “This is good. It's really good.”
Blaine's eyes are so kind. “Really?”
“I promise,” Kurt says. “You're - Blaine, right now, I'm happy.”
“I hope so,” Blaine says softly. “I want you to be.”
**
They talk for what feels like hours, moving from topic to topic as easily as if they'd known each other for years instead of just two weeks.
Blaine tells him about the Warblers' impromptu performances all over school and how they're usually well-timed to get one of the council members out of an especially hated class.
“Wait,” Kurt interrupts, wide-eyed, amused. “When you guys sing, people don't have to go to class?”
Blaine shakes his head. “It's kind of awesome. As long as we don't overdo it, teachers will excuse absences due to spontaneous performances. Some of the time, they're there listening themselves.”
Kurt shakes his head at him. “That sounds completely amazing. Not only did nobody care about glee club at McKinley, but to make matters worse a lot of the time we even had things thrown at us. Slushies, mostly. A shoe, that one time. And no one did anything about that, not really.”
Blaine raises both eyebrows at him. “Someone threw a shoe at you? Please tell me that was enough to get a teacher to step in to interfere!”
Kurt shrugs, grins at him. “It was a teacher who threw it in the first place!”
“Oh my god!” Blaine laughs. “What kind of a school did you even go to? I mean. I get it. The school I went to before Dalton - yeah.”
Kurt nods. “But at least we did perform outside the school a lot. Not just to get away from the hostile environments, it wasn't always better somewhere else. But we didn't just sing for audiences.” He rolls his eyes. “The New Directions loved their karaoke nights. Those were always interesting. The few times they actually managed to get organized enough to go through with them, at least.”
“The Warblers have those too,” Blaine says, pauses, tilts his head at him. “Any chance I can make you accompany me to the next one?”
Kurt squints his eyes at him, taps a finger against his chin. “Will I have to wear a blazer?”
“We don't always wear our uniforms, you know?” Blaine shakes his head at him.
Kurt sweeps his gaze across Blaine's snug-fitting polo shirt, nods appreciatively. “I can see that.”
“So you can wear whatever you want. But you will have to sing.”
“An opportunity to dress up and sing in front of people?” Kurt says. “Count me in!”
“I'll try to get my friend Jeff to put together a karaoke night soon,” Blaine says. “He has this great basement that his parents let us use - you'll like it. It has a stage.”
“My friend Rachel had a stage in her basement,” Kurt says. “You know, Hiram and LeRoy from the dance studio. She's their daughter.”
“Well, they seem like the kind of people who'd have a stage in the basement.”
“I know, right?”
“So, that's where you'd hang out on the weekends?” he wants to know.
Kurt shrugs. “Sometimes. Rachel and I - we only started becoming really close during senior year when it turned out we were both headed for New York. I spent a lot of time at my dad's garage before. He let me work there to make some extra money. You know. For New York.”
“You always knew it was going to be New York for you?”
Kurt shrugs. “I always knew I wanted to do musical theater. New York is kind of where it all happens, you know? Also, it's not here, so -”
Blaine chuckles. “Yeah, I get that. That's pretty much why I want to go there too.”
“And now if you do, you'll already know someone there,” Kurt says, and Blaine smiles, hooks their ankles together under the table.
“If I actually do get into NYADA,” Blaine says.
“We'll start working on your audition next week. I'll help you. You can do it!”
Blaine flutters his lashes at him, mouth twitching. “Yeah but -” he lowers his head a bit, blinks up at him. “Maybe you won't want to hang out with me once I'm there. You'll be in your last year and I'll just be this embarrassing freshman following you around campus like a lost puppy -”
His heart hurts with joy just picturing it; walking across campus with Blaine's hand in his, sending each other off to class with a kiss and a smile, getting to introduce him as 'this is Blaine, my boyfriend.' He wants it.
Silence stretches for a few moments and Kurt thinks about, only for the briefest of moments, going back to New York, for the beginning of next semester, and Blaine staying here, thinks about Blaine following him a few months later and wonders what they'll be to each other then, whether or not this will last. But he quickly pushes the thought down, he has enough to worry about as it is. And he and Blaine have been dating since Wednesday. It seems too early to consider all of this.
“Maybe you'll be the one who won't want to be seen with me,” he suggests. “You know, you're finally at college, free to do whatever you want, and then there's this old guy constantly showing up everywhere totally cramping your style -”
Blaine laughs, eyes sparkling as he looks at Kurt. “I'm not worried about that,” he says. “Trust me.”
And the thing is, Kurt does.