Caitlin Made Me
In response to Caitlin's request, I am updating my journal. I don't have much to say, however, except that I think I have a psychological disorder. In fact, I know I do, but it is starting to bother me because I am becoming unable to make decisions. For example, I am trying to decide now whether to go home for the weekend. But the reasons for going or not going are pretty stupid by normal people's standards, but not stupid to me. Basically, I really suck at making friends, so I don't really have any friends at McGill! Contrary to popular notion, I really don't mind that much; I have Axel, and Vanessa. Plus I have a few friends from a study group last term. Anyway, all to say that university for me is not the big social happening some make it out to be. In fact, I have decided that this term I am really going to devote myself to three goals:
1) remain on Al's General Sucessful Dieting Plan (AGSDP) for the month of January to lose Christmas fat, have my size 8 pants fit me very loosely (the reason I specify the size is that I also have size 9 pants)***, and exercise somewhat more than before
2) work really hard in school, keep up with all my classes, get a 4.0GPA for the term, read everything on time, start assignments in advance
3) keep my house clean and in order for the month of January and probably the whole term so that my mother will allow me to move into our Westmount house next year
***in case anyone does not know anything about the size of pants, I would like to inform you that 9/10 are the same size, and 7/8 or 6/7 or soemthing is all one size.... it's weird. just to let you know that pant sizes are weird.
Anyway, so far the first goal is going fairly well. Because I have 2 classes in the Stewart Biological Sciences Building this term, which, in case anyone does not know, is on the HILL (Montreal is built on a huge stupid ass hill), I will be getting plenty of inadvertent exercise huffing and puffing to class every day. The other lovely added bonus of having classes up the stupid hill is the fact that it is winter and not only is it freezing outside but there is ice covering the sidewalks and it is very easy to fall whilst climbing said hill. Or while going down it... Especially then. Like one time I slipped on the ice and some old French guys asked me if I was okay. But I was. So that was okay. Anyway I also borrowed the Playstation 2 from Axel and the game Dance Dance Revolution from my sister, so I do that to exercise too. In fact, I introduced the game to Vanessa last night and we basically played it from 11:30PM to 2:30AM. So I worked off the sherbet I had eaten earlier in the evening. So goal 1 is good.
Goal #2 is going well too, surprisingly! I really want to get into honours psychology, which is a really difficult thing to do... So I need to keep my grades good. Right now my GPA is 3.74 which is pretty good but probably not good enough to get into honours, since only like 30 or 35 people get in. So I'm working to raise it... At least I generally enjoy my courses this term, which are mostly psychology: Intro Behavioural Neuroscience, Intro Personality, Cognition, Hormones and Behaviour, and a religion course, The Bible and Western Culture. Also, my schedule this term is much more conducive to sleep and healthy mealtimes than was my schedule last term. Anyway... that's going well (fingers crossed)
Let me just say to all those who thought I could never keep my dishes washed and house clean for more than 10 minutes, I can! It's pretty clean. And I put all sorts of cool lamps in my living room because it's fucking cold and the lamps radiate heat. Except my light bulbs keep burning out, which makes me unreasonably angry.
In fact, my house is rather immaculately clean. Just goes to show that when I do something, I do it obsessively. Or else I don't do it.
Okay sorry to get off topic for so long but this is an 'update' so I feel I should be allowed to go off on such tangents. Anyway, all in all, I don't have much of a social life. I went out sometimes last term, quite a bit... But still I don't know many people and have no real friends. The only thing is, my friends back home are probably all making friends, and I don't want to seem like some kind of loser who goes home on weekends and stuff. On the other hand, I really dislike clubbing a lot, I hate it! It is soooo boring to me. I'm such a weird person... I remember when we had our drinking parties in high school all the time and the first time someone came, it might have been Alastair... I know it was a guy. Anyway it was his first time in attendance of one of our parties, and afterward he said that he had never seen so much TALKING about emotions and thoughts and life and stuff being done by all these totally trashed people. But I LIKE that stuff... I like to get together with people and just talk to them and stuff.. That's why I don't like clubs, all you do is dance. And I suck at dancing. Not only that, but it's not even real dancing. I like dancing at weddings and stuff, but not that kind where you just move your hips and stuff, it's boring to me. Anyway, Axel doesn't like clubbing either but it seems that he will do anything with people from his res just so he goes out with people. I myself don't care if I go out with people. However, I don't want my few friends here to think I'm a stick-in-the-mud (is that a common expression? my mom uses it ALL THE TIME) because I go home all the time. See how I worry about these things? It's like, what if I am invited to something this weekend and I am at home? Then I'll miss the opportunity to socialize and to at least keep up the semblance that I have a lot of friends. I just want to say that it also really doesn't help that Michelle is always bragging about how many friends she has in university and how university is all about meeting as many people as possible... Well some of us are so paranoid that people will not like us and also somewhat reluctant to talk to people randomly that it's just not about that. Plus I am more interested in furthering my career, since I'm in a pretty hard discipline to get a career in. It's just so hard to work hard in school AND go out all the time. Anyway. Michelle also made this comment to me like "Oh it's so funny how it's reversed from high school, like now Axel is the one with friends and you don't have any". Yes what a nice thing to say. Anyway, again, just because I don't know a lot of people, the few that I do know I like.
But I STILL don't know whether to go home or not, because I can't decide if it's worth it and stuff. I think WAY too much. I'm serious, my brain is constantly in overdrive. I can't even make simple decisions. I also miss the bus a lot because I run back home to make sure my door is locked and the stove is turned off even when I know I didn't turn it on. I like how I get to write all this stuff here because pretty much no one except Caitlin, to my knowledge, reads my livejournal. And she has NOTHING to say about talking about one's own craziness. Although she threw a REALLY good party on January 2nd, lots of nice people and I really had a good time. See? I miss having friends from home I can hang out with ALL THE TIME. But I'm actually pretty happy here at the moment. Except for having to decide whether to go home for the weekend. Oh, and by the way, I am cutting my hair. That's right, everyone can get over it now. It's happening.
Other issues I have include a nagging pull toward becoming a medical doctor, the fact that Arts degrees somehow sound inferior to Science degrees although I am in the former, the fact that Jack Nicholson is getting old, the fact that Friends is ending this season, tea withdrawal, and cold weather.
Positive things include interesting classes, the canal hopefully opening soon, lots of nice clothes, Dance Dance Revolution, divine inspiration, belief in belief, arguing for the closed-mindedness of atheists, aromatherapy lamp, my new sheep, and the good part in the song 'up up up up up up' by ani difranco (part of my shameful feministically girly music liking) that makes the boring rest of it worth listening to.
Al is happy despite minor setbacks and wanting to see a psychiatrist!
have a super day
AL
1) remain on Al's General Sucessful Dieting Plan (AGSDP) for the month of January to lose Christmas fat, have my size 8 pants fit me very loosely (the reason I specify the size is that I also have size 9 pants)***, and exercise somewhat more than before
2) work really hard in school, keep up with all my classes, get a 4.0GPA for the term, read everything on time, start assignments in advance
3) keep my house clean and in order for the month of January and probably the whole term so that my mother will allow me to move into our Westmount house next year
***in case anyone does not know anything about the size of pants, I would like to inform you that 9/10 are the same size, and 7/8 or 6/7 or soemthing is all one size.... it's weird. just to let you know that pant sizes are weird.
Anyway, so far the first goal is going fairly well. Because I have 2 classes in the Stewart Biological Sciences Building this term, which, in case anyone does not know, is on the HILL (Montreal is built on a huge stupid ass hill), I will be getting plenty of inadvertent exercise huffing and puffing to class every day. The other lovely added bonus of having classes up the stupid hill is the fact that it is winter and not only is it freezing outside but there is ice covering the sidewalks and it is very easy to fall whilst climbing said hill. Or while going down it... Especially then. Like one time I slipped on the ice and some old French guys asked me if I was okay. But I was. So that was okay. Anyway I also borrowed the Playstation 2 from Axel and the game Dance Dance Revolution from my sister, so I do that to exercise too. In fact, I introduced the game to Vanessa last night and we basically played it from 11:30PM to 2:30AM. So I worked off the sherbet I had eaten earlier in the evening. So goal 1 is good.
Goal #2 is going well too, surprisingly! I really want to get into honours psychology, which is a really difficult thing to do... So I need to keep my grades good. Right now my GPA is 3.74 which is pretty good but probably not good enough to get into honours, since only like 30 or 35 people get in. So I'm working to raise it... At least I generally enjoy my courses this term, which are mostly psychology: Intro Behavioural Neuroscience, Intro Personality, Cognition, Hormones and Behaviour, and a religion course, The Bible and Western Culture. Also, my schedule this term is much more conducive to sleep and healthy mealtimes than was my schedule last term. Anyway... that's going well (fingers crossed)
Let me just say to all those who thought I could never keep my dishes washed and house clean for more than 10 minutes, I can! It's pretty clean. And I put all sorts of cool lamps in my living room because it's fucking cold and the lamps radiate heat. Except my light bulbs keep burning out, which makes me unreasonably angry.
In fact, my house is rather immaculately clean. Just goes to show that when I do something, I do it obsessively. Or else I don't do it.
Okay sorry to get off topic for so long but this is an 'update' so I feel I should be allowed to go off on such tangents. Anyway, all in all, I don't have much of a social life. I went out sometimes last term, quite a bit... But still I don't know many people and have no real friends. The only thing is, my friends back home are probably all making friends, and I don't want to seem like some kind of loser who goes home on weekends and stuff. On the other hand, I really dislike clubbing a lot, I hate it! It is soooo boring to me. I'm such a weird person... I remember when we had our drinking parties in high school all the time and the first time someone came, it might have been Alastair... I know it was a guy. Anyway it was his first time in attendance of one of our parties, and afterward he said that he had never seen so much TALKING about emotions and thoughts and life and stuff being done by all these totally trashed people. But I LIKE that stuff... I like to get together with people and just talk to them and stuff.. That's why I don't like clubs, all you do is dance. And I suck at dancing. Not only that, but it's not even real dancing. I like dancing at weddings and stuff, but not that kind where you just move your hips and stuff, it's boring to me. Anyway, Axel doesn't like clubbing either but it seems that he will do anything with people from his res just so he goes out with people. I myself don't care if I go out with people. However, I don't want my few friends here to think I'm a stick-in-the-mud (is that a common expression? my mom uses it ALL THE TIME) because I go home all the time. See how I worry about these things? It's like, what if I am invited to something this weekend and I am at home? Then I'll miss the opportunity to socialize and to at least keep up the semblance that I have a lot of friends. I just want to say that it also really doesn't help that Michelle is always bragging about how many friends she has in university and how university is all about meeting as many people as possible... Well some of us are so paranoid that people will not like us and also somewhat reluctant to talk to people randomly that it's just not about that. Plus I am more interested in furthering my career, since I'm in a pretty hard discipline to get a career in. It's just so hard to work hard in school AND go out all the time. Anyway. Michelle also made this comment to me like "Oh it's so funny how it's reversed from high school, like now Axel is the one with friends and you don't have any". Yes what a nice thing to say. Anyway, again, just because I don't know a lot of people, the few that I do know I like.
But I STILL don't know whether to go home or not, because I can't decide if it's worth it and stuff. I think WAY too much. I'm serious, my brain is constantly in overdrive. I can't even make simple decisions. I also miss the bus a lot because I run back home to make sure my door is locked and the stove is turned off even when I know I didn't turn it on. I like how I get to write all this stuff here because pretty much no one except Caitlin, to my knowledge, reads my livejournal. And she has NOTHING to say about talking about one's own craziness. Although she threw a REALLY good party on January 2nd, lots of nice people and I really had a good time. See? I miss having friends from home I can hang out with ALL THE TIME. But I'm actually pretty happy here at the moment. Except for having to decide whether to go home for the weekend. Oh, and by the way, I am cutting my hair. That's right, everyone can get over it now. It's happening.
Other issues I have include a nagging pull toward becoming a medical doctor, the fact that Arts degrees somehow sound inferior to Science degrees although I am in the former, the fact that Jack Nicholson is getting old, the fact that Friends is ending this season, tea withdrawal, and cold weather.
Positive things include interesting classes, the canal hopefully opening soon, lots of nice clothes, Dance Dance Revolution, divine inspiration, belief in belief, arguing for the closed-mindedness of atheists, aromatherapy lamp, my new sheep, and the good part in the song 'up up up up up up' by ani difranco (part of my shameful feministically girly music liking) that makes the boring rest of it worth listening to.
Al is happy despite minor setbacks and wanting to see a psychiatrist!
have a super day
AL