So...
that 4 am post may have been a little melodramatic... but not entirely wrong.
I do feel trapped in my own skin though. I am having trouble dealing with that need to escape myself. I've done well so far... but I'm still riding on that edge at times. And I feel I'm at the edge with a lot of things.
I feel like we're at this terrible start and stop sort of place. Where when we're together everything gets full blown and overwhelming. Then things come to sort of a stand still when we go back to our respected college hell zones. We don't have time for progress, we barely have time to sleep, barely have time for casual conversation. It's frustrating, don't you think?
But I'm ok. I just, was having a rough moment last night. That's what I get for staying up and letting anxiety creep up on me I guess.
And I do need you. I need you an awful lot. And I worry that I need you more than you need me. I probably do at this point, in all honesty.
And missing you makes it all the more of a struggle.
But at the same time, you're like the finish line. You're the goal, the happy prize, waiting for me with confetti and streamers if I just keep going strong and make it to the finish line.
<3 Ali
I do feel trapped in my own skin though. I am having trouble dealing with that need to escape myself. I've done well so far... but I'm still riding on that edge at times. And I feel I'm at the edge with a lot of things.
I feel like we're at this terrible start and stop sort of place. Where when we're together everything gets full blown and overwhelming. Then things come to sort of a stand still when we go back to our respected college hell zones. We don't have time for progress, we barely have time to sleep, barely have time for casual conversation. It's frustrating, don't you think?
But I'm ok. I just, was having a rough moment last night. That's what I get for staying up and letting anxiety creep up on me I guess.
And I do need you. I need you an awful lot. And I worry that I need you more than you need me. I probably do at this point, in all honesty.
And missing you makes it all the more of a struggle.
But at the same time, you're like the finish line. You're the goal, the happy prize, waiting for me with confetti and streamers if I just keep going strong and make it to the finish line.
<3 Ali