...ramble ramble ramble
Days pass by me
as I blend in
the scenery seems so lush
and I
merely a passerby
a daily passerby
adventure into the mind
I'm not sure I would even take the journey
it's far from here
and I'm still lost
but if I blend in for 4 and a half more weeks
I can make it
I can survive my biggest sneeze
my quick unpleasant rush
this whirlwind I've somehow found myself
a passerby in
I want a connection
with anything other than a rabid squirrel
I want to stand out
to be something more than a comparison
to a tree
I want to not resemble a chimney while walking down the street
and I want for my lungs to not choke
at the thought of speaking up
Where did reality go?
so I guess we all have our bad days huh? confusion sets in right after all the craziness might actually settle down...I feel lost and alone in a big giant world of grownups where I'm still just a kid. The uncontrollable urge to give up and go back to bottles has set in...rewind to years ago and do it all over again, theres so many many things I want to do again, make memories again, hold onto things I have let go of...it's not like I've moved or left loved ones or lost anyone or anything other than my childhood, I've officially had to start being a grown up and I'm no longer allowed to sit and cry and get my way...it just doesn't work anymore. I have to take into account other peoples feelings and attitudes, I have to be responsible for me becuase no one can tell me what to do anymore, I have to stop crying and suck it up...I also have to realize that my parents are people too and they are human too and they aren't abandoning me because of this transition, in fact if anything my mother has been the most supportive loving person I have right now...it's amazing, it's beautiful it's scary and it's hard but I'm doing it...and it's a wonderful horrible feeling all the same
ali
as I blend in
the scenery seems so lush
and I
merely a passerby
a daily passerby
adventure into the mind
I'm not sure I would even take the journey
it's far from here
and I'm still lost
but if I blend in for 4 and a half more weeks
I can make it
I can survive my biggest sneeze
my quick unpleasant rush
this whirlwind I've somehow found myself
a passerby in
I want a connection
with anything other than a rabid squirrel
I want to stand out
to be something more than a comparison
to a tree
I want to not resemble a chimney while walking down the street
and I want for my lungs to not choke
at the thought of speaking up
Where did reality go?
so I guess we all have our bad days huh? confusion sets in right after all the craziness might actually settle down...I feel lost and alone in a big giant world of grownups where I'm still just a kid. The uncontrollable urge to give up and go back to bottles has set in...rewind to years ago and do it all over again, theres so many many things I want to do again, make memories again, hold onto things I have let go of...it's not like I've moved or left loved ones or lost anyone or anything other than my childhood, I've officially had to start being a grown up and I'm no longer allowed to sit and cry and get my way...it just doesn't work anymore. I have to take into account other peoples feelings and attitudes, I have to be responsible for me becuase no one can tell me what to do anymore, I have to stop crying and suck it up...I also have to realize that my parents are people too and they are human too and they aren't abandoning me because of this transition, in fact if anything my mother has been the most supportive loving person I have right now...it's amazing, it's beautiful it's scary and it's hard but I'm doing it...and it's a wonderful horrible feeling all the same
ali