Todays topic...Confusion
So Im happy. Ive been happy since Saturday night and I dont know why but life is so great right? Of course! I love it all and I love my friends and I love my family and nothing could go wrong right now to make me upset...unless it was tragic.
Tonight was fun. I went to Angies and met up with Eric and Allan and Ben and Katie came along with me and we played scategories and pictionary. It was so fun.
Ive exercise the past 2 days and I think its workin...I believe my abs and thighs are getting stronger...exciting!
Its snowing and blowing really bad outside and Im freaking out cause I have a lot to do tomorrow...chiropractic, tanner, work, church...ahh.
I cant wait to go to church though. Im so excite and Im really looking forward to it. I had so much fun last Wednesday I went and then I went on Sunday too and it was great. I love it at Kellies church. I got Katie to go with me and I think she likes it as well so that excites me even more. Its the kewl thing! everyones doing it haha. But really, its fun.
Hmm...Ive got conflicts though...Alicias confused! Ah! I dont want a boyfriend alright...BUT there is someone I do like but Im so totally not sure. Its a 360 from what I want in a guy. Okay sooooooooo, Alicia wants a guy who dont drink, smoke or do drugs. They have to go to church and follow and all that, know how to make a living on their own for the future someday, have a steady job and a vehicle, can make thier own decisions, can understand my point of view, is crazy and can have a good time and make me laugh and just be there for me when I need them. Thats what I want.
The guy I want smokes, drinks, does drugs...I denno. He told Katie that he would stop smoking, stop drinking and go to Church because he likes me alot. I was shocked. I guess hes liked me for a while now...before me and Sean. That totally blew me away. Something I did not even expect at all. But it was obvious but I thought thats just how he was. I didnt know! It was crazy, cause Ive always had a lil thing for him but I never admitted to anyone not even myself...I blew it off and just moved along. How crazy is that? Now he said hed start going back to church and all but I dont want him to change all of his life just for me, I want him to do it for himself. Make himself happy. I dont want a guy with a miserable life..it wouldnt work. He wants to travel...me too! Crazy but awesome. Everything is just so weird. I havent seen him for over a year I think its been nor have I talked to him and its crazy how everything seems to jus be falling into place. But Im gonna be smart upon this one...I really am. We talked about getting together to an extent, we talked about our past relationships and how we learned from them and it was just great. Like i can open up to him and he can understand me, its nice. I do like him...its a weird but awesome feeling. But I am going to give this one time and if we were to hook up, we'd have to talk about alot. I dont want to be there and then after a while he forgets about me or moves off to somewhere else and I never see him again or just stops talking to me... blah. I dont know. I think that we could make it work if we really wanted it to just because we know a lot about each other but at the same time wed have to work on a lot of things. Weve hung out in the past and there has never been a time that we had an argument...ever. We never fought. Hes funny, and he dont care what other people think about him, hell just do it, its awesome. I have such a great time being with him cause he makes me laugh. Katie says she can see us together cause wed look so cute because the way we look at eachother makes her want to cry...aww haha that did make me fool good though...thanks kate:)
Uuuuh... Ryans friend Shaun just called...nice. Asking if Im mad at Ryan. Im getting stronger! I told Shaun that Im just sick of the head games and he told Ryan that. And I told him that he made me sick to my stomach the other night I seen them at the Texan and how he went and sat with another girl and no Im not mad but that Im sick of it and Im not gonna set myself up to being hurt. Ryan said the girl he sat with was his neighbor who is about 35 and Ryan says thats sick its like doing his mom and I said whatever and then I went on to tell Shaun how I liked Ryan and he knew that because I told ihm in the letter I wrote and then after so long I just got pushed aside and he stopped calling me so I gave up. So I think I took care of that situation and I am really really proud of myself for sticking up towards that because I wanted to so bad last time and I fell in the trap. I also told him that I heard he was still with Danielle and other people have seen him with other girls and whatnot and it was just great. I feel so much better about that situation. There was no argument going on about it and it was civil and I got it out of the way. But Shaun says hes not with Danielle anymore they tried to stay together or something like that but it never worked because he or she was always busy when they tried to do stuff. Oh well...Im HAPPY! I dont care. Theres more to life than dealing with that and thats something Im pushing aside for someone else to deal with. Good idea right?
Im hungry and I want some food but its 3 in the morning and I have to be up at like 9:00 in the morning. Shaun says hes gonna call back but Im not gonna hold my breath to that one. If he calls, he calls. If not, its alright too. Soo.....goodnight to you all or good afternoon *depending on what time of day youll be reading this* and have a spledid year haha.
Lifes great
Tonight was fun. I went to Angies and met up with Eric and Allan and Ben and Katie came along with me and we played scategories and pictionary. It was so fun.
Ive exercise the past 2 days and I think its workin...I believe my abs and thighs are getting stronger...exciting!
Its snowing and blowing really bad outside and Im freaking out cause I have a lot to do tomorrow...chiropractic, tanner, work, church...ahh.
I cant wait to go to church though. Im so excite and Im really looking forward to it. I had so much fun last Wednesday I went and then I went on Sunday too and it was great. I love it at Kellies church. I got Katie to go with me and I think she likes it as well so that excites me even more. Its the kewl thing! everyones doing it haha. But really, its fun.
Hmm...Ive got conflicts though...Alicias confused! Ah! I dont want a boyfriend alright...BUT there is someone I do like but Im so totally not sure. Its a 360 from what I want in a guy. Okay sooooooooo, Alicia wants a guy who dont drink, smoke or do drugs. They have to go to church and follow and all that, know how to make a living on their own for the future someday, have a steady job and a vehicle, can make thier own decisions, can understand my point of view, is crazy and can have a good time and make me laugh and just be there for me when I need them. Thats what I want.
The guy I want smokes, drinks, does drugs...I denno. He told Katie that he would stop smoking, stop drinking and go to Church because he likes me alot. I was shocked. I guess hes liked me for a while now...before me and Sean. That totally blew me away. Something I did not even expect at all. But it was obvious but I thought thats just how he was. I didnt know! It was crazy, cause Ive always had a lil thing for him but I never admitted to anyone not even myself...I blew it off and just moved along. How crazy is that? Now he said hed start going back to church and all but I dont want him to change all of his life just for me, I want him to do it for himself. Make himself happy. I dont want a guy with a miserable life..it wouldnt work. He wants to travel...me too! Crazy but awesome. Everything is just so weird. I havent seen him for over a year I think its been nor have I talked to him and its crazy how everything seems to jus be falling into place. But Im gonna be smart upon this one...I really am. We talked about getting together to an extent, we talked about our past relationships and how we learned from them and it was just great. Like i can open up to him and he can understand me, its nice. I do like him...its a weird but awesome feeling. But I am going to give this one time and if we were to hook up, we'd have to talk about alot. I dont want to be there and then after a while he forgets about me or moves off to somewhere else and I never see him again or just stops talking to me... blah. I dont know. I think that we could make it work if we really wanted it to just because we know a lot about each other but at the same time wed have to work on a lot of things. Weve hung out in the past and there has never been a time that we had an argument...ever. We never fought. Hes funny, and he dont care what other people think about him, hell just do it, its awesome. I have such a great time being with him cause he makes me laugh. Katie says she can see us together cause wed look so cute because the way we look at eachother makes her want to cry...aww haha that did make me fool good though...thanks kate:)
Uuuuh... Ryans friend Shaun just called...nice. Asking if Im mad at Ryan. Im getting stronger! I told Shaun that Im just sick of the head games and he told Ryan that. And I told him that he made me sick to my stomach the other night I seen them at the Texan and how he went and sat with another girl and no Im not mad but that Im sick of it and Im not gonna set myself up to being hurt. Ryan said the girl he sat with was his neighbor who is about 35 and Ryan says thats sick its like doing his mom and I said whatever and then I went on to tell Shaun how I liked Ryan and he knew that because I told ihm in the letter I wrote and then after so long I just got pushed aside and he stopped calling me so I gave up. So I think I took care of that situation and I am really really proud of myself for sticking up towards that because I wanted to so bad last time and I fell in the trap. I also told him that I heard he was still with Danielle and other people have seen him with other girls and whatnot and it was just great. I feel so much better about that situation. There was no argument going on about it and it was civil and I got it out of the way. But Shaun says hes not with Danielle anymore they tried to stay together or something like that but it never worked because he or she was always busy when they tried to do stuff. Oh well...Im HAPPY! I dont care. Theres more to life than dealing with that and thats something Im pushing aside for someone else to deal with. Good idea right?
Im hungry and I want some food but its 3 in the morning and I have to be up at like 9:00 in the morning. Shaun says hes gonna call back but Im not gonna hold my breath to that one. If he calls, he calls. If not, its alright too. Soo.....goodnight to you all or good afternoon *depending on what time of day youll be reading this* and have a spledid year haha.
Lifes great