the end
It has been a very long time since I have wrote anything in here and I'm not sure why that is. Maybe its just that a lot has happened and I haven't wanted to deal with any of it. About exactly a year ago I started dating squid(mike) and I fell hard. Everything was great even though I had mono at the end of the year. Our first date we went to jakes and he asked me out adn gave me flowers. I felt so good when I was with him. Then over the summer I was interning, doing two summer classes and took an LSAT class even though I decided to not go to law school(that came later). I went to visit him in ny over the summer. We spent the day in Williamsburg and I met his family and slept over. I did not want to leave him. On the day I left, We were in penn station and as I was going to get on the train taking the escalator down he said I love you to me. It felt like a movie and I was so happy. Then he breaks up with me in august saying he was doing bad in school and couldnt be in a relationship b/c he was going to loose his scholarship. A week later there are pictures of him and this girl on facebook meaning he had cheated on me. My heart was broke and I was so embarrassed and hurt and upset and confused and angry. I still loved him but I knew I couldnt. When we got back to school I barely saw him besides one instance in the bottom floor of ov where I screamed out the door asshole or douchebag or something to him and he texted me hate you too. Now he is in another relationship with some girl who goes here. Needless to say he is not my favorite person. After him there was the whole halloween hook up with mark wagner and of course the night where I had sex with alex again. That really fucked me up emotionally bringing back past feeling and confusing the fuck out of me. He really is just weird and an asshole to me and Im pretty sure he likes kerry. Either way that was a shit show of me kicking him out of the apartment and drunkingly telling kate and trying to be his friend to now where Idk we are fine. Then in december mama passed away and that was hard. She was one of the best people in the entire world and I loved her so much and I miss her so much. and its hard bc noone in that family understands our relationship. On the bright side Im graduating in a few weeks but coming back next year for my mba. Bittersweet. Oh yeah in feb I made out wit ali beydoun. that was weird but hey its college right..and for the past few months ive been flying solo trying to do all of my work and live my life.