Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I had the weirdest dream last night. It was long, colorful, full of action, and I remember a lot of it. I haven't had a dream like that in a long time.
I brought "swing flipping" into the mainstream. Where you're on a playground swing and when you're at the apex of moving forward, you back flip off of the swing. The media dubbed me the Swing King and somehow this event became a sport, I think on the X-Games or something. I quickly became a celebrity and lavishly rich.
At some big event, I was supposed to give a demonstration. They had a swing set up for me, a huge crowd was there, the media ... it was a huge event. There was a fence behind the swing and some water beyond that which led out into the bay where a giant sail boat was moored. In front of the swing was a padded landing strip I was supposed to land on after my stunt.
I started swinging and as I got higher and higher, the crowd was more energetic. An assistant moved near the landing mats with a tennis ball and a propane torch. He was going to light it on fire and toss it to me during my stunt. The crowd was excited. The ball was lit and tossed to me during my apex. I caught it. But rather than flip off the swing, I grabbed the chain to my left, slid off the swing, and "Tarzanned" all the way through to the reverse apex (nadir?) where I tossed the ball into something creating a huge shower of sparks and smoke to screen my escape. I let go of the chain and went sailing over the fence and into the water.
I sank below the surface to where some SCUBA gear was waiting along with one of those hand-held propeller thingies. Under water, I jetted out to the far side of the moored sail boat, climbed aboard, and made my appearance on deck. I fired a flare gun into the air to get everyone's attention and announced through a bullhorn a big party I was throwing. The dream cut to mid-party.
I was dating this young cute girl with auburn hair. She was a bit plain and naive but I liked her nonetheless. But at this party was a hot, raven haired, goth-like chick in black fishnets, a leather miniskirt, and knee-high leather heeled boots. She and I arranged something that we'd drift off alone together to talk and when my girlfriend neared (but still far enough we could feign ignorance to the fact she was there), the hot chick would kiss me. I'd slap her and state, "Never do that again. Yes, you're attractive and I do like you, but I'm with someone and I'm very happy with her. Sorry, but I just can't cheat on her." Then I'd storm off and eventually meet up with my girlfriend. I'd be the hero in her eyes and she'd adore and trust me. Then I'd have some business to take care of, sneak off, and rendezvous with the hot chick and no one would be the wiser.
That was the plan anyway. The first part went wonderfully. But when I met up with my girlfriend again I realized just how much I loved her. I quickly packed a bag with some stuff, took my girlfriend by the hand, and we sneaked away from the boat and into the night where I was never heard from again. I gave up the party, gave up my celebrity status, gave up everything (except my secret bank accounts of course) to be with this girl.
Then I woke up.
It was an amazing dream. Fun, exciting, romantic, dramatic ... it was like a scene in a movie. I kept replaying it in my head so I wouldn't forget it because I wanted to get it down on paper (computer?). But then another thought slipped into my head.
When Cate and I first started dating, I had a choice to make. I could continue to pursue someone I once loved and had a chance of rekindling that relationship, or I could start something new with Cate. I chose Cate and I do not regret that decision one bit. She and I had a great relationship. But a handful of months into our relationship events occurred and suddenly Cate had a choice to make. She could pursue someone she once loved with a chance of finally developing a relationship with him, or she could continue to date me. She said she just had to confess her feelings to him and see where it would lead. While he would most likely reject them, it was something she felt she had to do.
I should have ended it right there. The choice was him or me, not both. When she chose him, I should have packed my bags and come home. She's not worthy of me.
But I loved her so I gave her all the time and space she needed to sort out her life and I'd be waiting in the wings. It did work out in my favor. She talked with this guy, he said he liked her but wasn't ready for a relationship, may never be ready, and he told her to return to me and be happy with me. She was alone for a few weeks, but eventually came back to me. Our relationship was awkward at first it quickly accelerated back to the level it was before and even grew beyond that.
Until suddenly it was over. A month into her new job she was just so stressed and worn out from long hours, she broke. And with her breaking, she broke off our relationship as well. No explanations; just several excuses all of which I countered. Long silence, then, "I think you should just pack up your stuff and return your key."
That was a year ago. I can't remember the exact date but this was the month.
Am I over it? Have I moved on? In many ways, yes. In other ways ... She's not worthy of me, but I still love her.
I brought "swing flipping" into the mainstream. Where you're on a playground swing and when you're at the apex of moving forward, you back flip off of the swing. The media dubbed me the Swing King and somehow this event became a sport, I think on the X-Games or something. I quickly became a celebrity and lavishly rich.
At some big event, I was supposed to give a demonstration. They had a swing set up for me, a huge crowd was there, the media ... it was a huge event. There was a fence behind the swing and some water beyond that which led out into the bay where a giant sail boat was moored. In front of the swing was a padded landing strip I was supposed to land on after my stunt.
I started swinging and as I got higher and higher, the crowd was more energetic. An assistant moved near the landing mats with a tennis ball and a propane torch. He was going to light it on fire and toss it to me during my stunt. The crowd was excited. The ball was lit and tossed to me during my apex. I caught it. But rather than flip off the swing, I grabbed the chain to my left, slid off the swing, and "Tarzanned" all the way through to the reverse apex (nadir?) where I tossed the ball into something creating a huge shower of sparks and smoke to screen my escape. I let go of the chain and went sailing over the fence and into the water.
I sank below the surface to where some SCUBA gear was waiting along with one of those hand-held propeller thingies. Under water, I jetted out to the far side of the moored sail boat, climbed aboard, and made my appearance on deck. I fired a flare gun into the air to get everyone's attention and announced through a bullhorn a big party I was throwing. The dream cut to mid-party.
I was dating this young cute girl with auburn hair. She was a bit plain and naive but I liked her nonetheless. But at this party was a hot, raven haired, goth-like chick in black fishnets, a leather miniskirt, and knee-high leather heeled boots. She and I arranged something that we'd drift off alone together to talk and when my girlfriend neared (but still far enough we could feign ignorance to the fact she was there), the hot chick would kiss me. I'd slap her and state, "Never do that again. Yes, you're attractive and I do like you, but I'm with someone and I'm very happy with her. Sorry, but I just can't cheat on her." Then I'd storm off and eventually meet up with my girlfriend. I'd be the hero in her eyes and she'd adore and trust me. Then I'd have some business to take care of, sneak off, and rendezvous with the hot chick and no one would be the wiser.
That was the plan anyway. The first part went wonderfully. But when I met up with my girlfriend again I realized just how much I loved her. I quickly packed a bag with some stuff, took my girlfriend by the hand, and we sneaked away from the boat and into the night where I was never heard from again. I gave up the party, gave up my celebrity status, gave up everything (except my secret bank accounts of course) to be with this girl.
Then I woke up.
It was an amazing dream. Fun, exciting, romantic, dramatic ... it was like a scene in a movie. I kept replaying it in my head so I wouldn't forget it because I wanted to get it down on paper (computer?). But then another thought slipped into my head.
When Cate and I first started dating, I had a choice to make. I could continue to pursue someone I once loved and had a chance of rekindling that relationship, or I could start something new with Cate. I chose Cate and I do not regret that decision one bit. She and I had a great relationship. But a handful of months into our relationship events occurred and suddenly Cate had a choice to make. She could pursue someone she once loved with a chance of finally developing a relationship with him, or she could continue to date me. She said she just had to confess her feelings to him and see where it would lead. While he would most likely reject them, it was something she felt she had to do.
I should have ended it right there. The choice was him or me, not both. When she chose him, I should have packed my bags and come home. She's not worthy of me.
But I loved her so I gave her all the time and space she needed to sort out her life and I'd be waiting in the wings. It did work out in my favor. She talked with this guy, he said he liked her but wasn't ready for a relationship, may never be ready, and he told her to return to me and be happy with me. She was alone for a few weeks, but eventually came back to me. Our relationship was awkward at first it quickly accelerated back to the level it was before and even grew beyond that.
Until suddenly it was over. A month into her new job she was just so stressed and worn out from long hours, she broke. And with her breaking, she broke off our relationship as well. No explanations; just several excuses all of which I countered. Long silence, then, "I think you should just pack up your stuff and return your key."
That was a year ago. I can't remember the exact date but this was the month.
Am I over it? Have I moved on? In many ways, yes. In other ways ... She's not worthy of me, but I still love her.