Me!Me!

[algernon_mouse]

gakked from not_a_lambI WILL BE COMPLETELY HONEST FOR 24 HOURS... You can ask one question. Any questions, no matter how crazy, sinister, or wrong it is. I WILL answer no matter what, you have my FULL honesty, but I DARE you to put this in your Lj and see what questions you get

Comments

[algernon_mouse]

I see Jay in Ben every single day. They look very alike and Ben even has a lot of Jay's mannerisms. That said, I've never looked at Ben the way you've described.

Ben is pretty much a walking reminder of all Jay's good qualities and that's comforting in a sense because it means that I didn't imagine them. While my marriage failed, and my relationship with Jay is challenging at times, there honestly isn't any tension between us. He is a very nice person who is just honestly really fucked up.

That said, I've resented Ben's existence lots of times, but never because of who is father is.

If I've resented him, it's because I'm a parent who would just love to be free of some responsibilities for a few hours/days/weeks/forever. And that's not even a single-mom thing either. I think it's common for all parents.

I think when you plan to have a baby, you don't really understand what a huge timesuck you're signing up for.

I don't think your mom ever honestly looks at you and hates who you are based on who co-created you. Your mom loved your dad once too - maybe she just hasn't made peace with that.