closest thing you will ever get to fan fiction from me
The place is quiet, mid-morning. Frazzled Alfy enters and sits at the bar.
Alfy: Imperial whiskey, straight up.
The bartender nonchalantly pours a shot. Alfy takes the drink. She quietly sips at her booze and reflects upon her day.
Alfy glances around. And then, suddenly -- her eyes widen.
Sitting at a table is JOHNNY DEPP! The slim, world-famous actor sits alone, eating lunch with one hand and reading a script in another.
Alfy is thunderstruck.
Alfy: Oh my God. It's Johnny Depp...
Alfy nervously stands. She starts to step forward -- when she catches her own reflection in a mirror. She still in drag.
Alfy: Holy mother of Ed Wood
Alfy rolls her eyes. she runs her hand through her hair, then slowly approaches Johnny Depp. Alfy is terrified.
Alfy: Excuse me, Sir...?
Johnny Depp: (he casually looks up) Yes?
Alfy: Uh, uh, I'm a young filmmaker, and a really big fan... and I just wanted to meet you.
Johnny Depp: (he extends his hand) My pleasure. I'm Johnny Depp
Alfy: Oh. Um, I'm Captain Alfred Scissorhands (she smiles anxiously)So, what are you working on now?
Johnny Depp: Eh, the financing just fell through for the third time on GIlliams"The Man Who Killed Don Quixote." So I'm trying to finish a promo for Willy Wonka. But I can't find the right angle -- (he shrugs) I think I left it in London.
Alfy is astonished.
Alfy: I can't believe it. These sound like my problems!
Johnny Depp: It's the damn money men. You never know who's a windbag, and who's got the goods. And then they all think they're an actor...
Alfy: Ain't that the truth! I've even had extras rewrite their lines --
Johnny Depp: Ugh, I hate when that happens.
Alfy: (on a roll) And they always want to cast their buddies -- it doesn't even matter if they're right for the part!
Johnny Depp: Tell me about it. I'm supposed to do a thriller at Universal, and they want Keaunu Reeves to play an Englishman!
Alfy shakes her head. She's discouraged.
Alfy: Mr. Depp, is it all worth it?
Johnny Depp: It is when it works. (solemn) You know the one film of mine I can stand to watch? "Wood" The studio hated it... but they didn't get to influence the character one bit. (he smiles warmly) Alfy, visions are worth fighting for. Why spend your life making someone else's dreams?
CLOSEUP - ALFY
She has seen God.
Alfy: Wow.
Alfy: Imperial whiskey, straight up.
The bartender nonchalantly pours a shot. Alfy takes the drink. She quietly sips at her booze and reflects upon her day.
Alfy glances around. And then, suddenly -- her eyes widen.
Sitting at a table is JOHNNY DEPP! The slim, world-famous actor sits alone, eating lunch with one hand and reading a script in another.
Alfy is thunderstruck.
Alfy: Oh my God. It's Johnny Depp...
Alfy nervously stands. She starts to step forward -- when she catches her own reflection in a mirror. She still in drag.
Alfy: Holy mother of Ed Wood
Alfy rolls her eyes. she runs her hand through her hair, then slowly approaches Johnny Depp. Alfy is terrified.
Alfy: Excuse me, Sir...?
Johnny Depp: (he casually looks up) Yes?
Alfy: Uh, uh, I'm a young filmmaker, and a really big fan... and I just wanted to meet you.
Johnny Depp: (he extends his hand) My pleasure. I'm Johnny Depp
Alfy: Oh. Um, I'm Captain Alfred Scissorhands (she smiles anxiously)So, what are you working on now?
Johnny Depp: Eh, the financing just fell through for the third time on GIlliams"The Man Who Killed Don Quixote." So I'm trying to finish a promo for Willy Wonka. But I can't find the right angle -- (he shrugs) I think I left it in London.
Alfy is astonished.
Alfy: I can't believe it. These sound like my problems!
Johnny Depp: It's the damn money men. You never know who's a windbag, and who's got the goods. And then they all think they're an actor...
Alfy: Ain't that the truth! I've even had extras rewrite their lines --
Johnny Depp: Ugh, I hate when that happens.
Alfy: (on a roll) And they always want to cast their buddies -- it doesn't even matter if they're right for the part!
Johnny Depp: Tell me about it. I'm supposed to do a thriller at Universal, and they want Keaunu Reeves to play an Englishman!
Alfy shakes her head. She's discouraged.
Alfy: Mr. Depp, is it all worth it?
Johnny Depp: It is when it works. (solemn) You know the one film of mine I can stand to watch? "Wood" The studio hated it... but they didn't get to influence the character one bit. (he smiles warmly) Alfy, visions are worth fighting for. Why spend your life making someone else's dreams?
CLOSEUP - ALFY
She has seen God.
Alfy: Wow.