Gah. *coughs all over LJ*
Dammit. I feel awful. No, seriously. I have a cold, and it's like... THE WORST ONE EVER. My throat hurts, and I keep on feeling like I'm going to throw up. But I don't. I just throw up air... yes, AIR. And it hurts. ;_;
But I guess I'm being punished for having a good last few days. Well, GREAT last few days. Tuesday was awesome. Like, the Best Day Ever. Me and Emma-Hime got on better than we have in ages, which is great, considering all the stuff that's happened this last month. (Like my acting like a total dickhead when she told me she had a boyfriend. That seems to have been forgiven, though.) I was really scared that I might have blown it. REALLY scared, because she's like... my only Real Life friend. But even if she wasn't, I'd still be scared, 'cause she's like... teh awesome.
But us getting on great isn't the reason Tuesday was one of my Best Days Ever. Due to... certain events, I had to give her her Valentines Day stuff late. On Tuesday, no less. And she accepted it! I thought that she might reject it, 'cause it might have been considered a little inappropiate considering what a dickhead I've been about things, but... yayness! ^__^ She was really happy with my gift, too. I bought her Passion, a (18+!) Yaoi Manga, which made her happy. And then, when I (Jokingly. I never actually expected to get one.) suggested that I should get a kiss on the cheek, she gave me one. And a hug too. :D It felt great. For those few seconds, I felt better than I've ever have.
Wow. *reads over* I really do suck. But in the end, regardless of anything, I'm still her loserish worshipping fanboy. AND PROUD OF IT. *nods*
Oh. And I went over to Will's house to do some Course Work. Yep, that's pretty much my Social Life. But it was... niceish. I NEED TO GET OUT MORE. I need a Girlfriend/Boyfriend. ;_; Someone nice and quiet, but obsessive and nerdy. Like me. XD I'm most likely not going to get one anytime soon though... September, at the earliest. And that's if I'm *very* lucky. Why September? Well, that's when I'll finally start A-Levels. And I'm sure as HELL not going to go out with any of the scummy GCSE Losers. Not that anybody likes me on that level, though. I had been hoping that something might of happened with Emma-Hime, but... well, that was just me being delusional. I think, that deep down, I could never be good enough for someone like her. No, seriously. I can't believe I actually believed that she would ever want to be with someone like me.
Yay for Self-Pity!
By September, I might have gotten over my feelings. I mean, I don't *want* to, but do I really have much choice? She's with him. And even if she wasn't, I still wouldn't be anywhere *near* being in the Running. (She would have to VERY drunk to even consider me. XD) Trying to hold onto them will just lead me to being hurt over and over again. Love really *does* hurt. *nods* I guess the only thing I can do is cling onto some vain hope that I'll meet some nice person who'll love me back. Because at this point in my life, I NEED to be loved back. More than anything.
But I guess I'm being punished for having a good last few days. Well, GREAT last few days. Tuesday was awesome. Like, the Best Day Ever. Me and Emma-Hime got on better than we have in ages, which is great, considering all the stuff that's happened this last month. (Like my acting like a total dickhead when she told me she had a boyfriend. That seems to have been forgiven, though.) I was really scared that I might have blown it. REALLY scared, because she's like... my only Real Life friend. But even if she wasn't, I'd still be scared, 'cause she's like... teh awesome.
But us getting on great isn't the reason Tuesday was one of my Best Days Ever. Due to... certain events, I had to give her her Valentines Day stuff late. On Tuesday, no less. And she accepted it! I thought that she might reject it, 'cause it might have been considered a little inappropiate considering what a dickhead I've been about things, but... yayness! ^__^ She was really happy with my gift, too. I bought her Passion, a (18+!) Yaoi Manga, which made her happy. And then, when I (Jokingly. I never actually expected to get one.) suggested that I should get a kiss on the cheek, she gave me one. And a hug too. :D It felt great. For those few seconds, I felt better than I've ever have.
Wow. *reads over* I really do suck. But in the end, regardless of anything, I'm still her loserish worshipping fanboy. AND PROUD OF IT. *nods*
Oh. And I went over to Will's house to do some Course Work. Yep, that's pretty much my Social Life. But it was... niceish. I NEED TO GET OUT MORE. I need a Girlfriend/Boyfriend. ;_; Someone nice and quiet, but obsessive and nerdy. Like me. XD I'm most likely not going to get one anytime soon though... September, at the earliest. And that's if I'm *very* lucky. Why September? Well, that's when I'll finally start A-Levels. And I'm sure as HELL not going to go out with any of the scummy GCSE Losers. Not that anybody likes me on that level, though. I had been hoping that something might of happened with Emma-Hime, but... well, that was just me being delusional. I think, that deep down, I could never be good enough for someone like her. No, seriously. I can't believe I actually believed that she would ever want to be with someone like me.
Yay for Self-Pity!
By September, I might have gotten over my feelings. I mean, I don't *want* to, but do I really have much choice? She's with him. And even if she wasn't, I still wouldn't be anywhere *near* being in the Running. (She would have to VERY drunk to even consider me. XD) Trying to hold onto them will just lead me to being hurt over and over again. Love really *does* hurt. *nods* I guess the only thing I can do is cling onto some vain hope that I'll meet some nice person who'll love me back. Because at this point in my life, I NEED to be loved back. More than anything.