Hard
After thinking about it, the only thing that's still hard is knowing that he can call you delusional, make you feel unappreciated for all you've done, and I can rescue you countless times and still be second to that. That you can tell me I make you feel sexy, confident, and want the world to know that no one else can come between us, and a week later you're gone without me even knowing it for another week. That you could love him so much more in such a short time that at the beginning you say if he causes you any trouble or mistreats you, he's gone... And in the time I've been completely gone with no sort of contact, he's made you numb, and you've still stuck with him. That when you feel insecure, you can find all the right words to say you hate me, where to go fuck myself, and how not caring about me is liberating... And yet, when you acknowledge you feel differently, say that you care, say I mean more than that, you can't find a single word to express what you feel. That's what I find hard. Loving you is easy... so very easy... being insecure is the hard part.