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*sigh* If Takahashi-san continues the manga like this, I may end up actually liking Sesshoumaru, and joining the massive, massive puddle that is his fangirls. Emo Fluffy = <3 If he actually sheds a tear (which I doubt, but a girl can hope!) I'll be his forever :P I'm such a sell-out, lol. I also find it strange that he barely talks to Rin, but he says a whole lot to Kohaku in this latest manga chapter! It makes me wish I could change one of my flashfic requests to Sess + Kohaku. Maybe next month :) And though some of you may hate me for this, as far as this chapter goes, Sessmom is such a bitch! (The "little youkai" thing was cute, though.)
Go check out my uber sucky flashfic for July. Been a while since I posted! It's platonic Sess + Inu and it's supposed to be quite dark. I was actually quite proud of the fic, too, but it looks as though it probably won't be making an appearance on FF.net. (Ironically, I only post what I consider my "better" writing at FF.net even though the site is primarily a breeding ground for bad!fic.) cinnamongrr1's flashfic is much, much better! It's a refreshing, original Kikyou/Naraku fic, and it's got a delicious plot twist! Go read and comment to your heart's content!
Now, onto the darkness that is my real life. Meh. If you want to stay in a good mood or prevent further "oh geez, Alfbie is spazzing, not again, freakin'..." then please continue to browse the rest of your friend's page.
For those of you who are new, I am 23, married to a wonderful canadian man of 26. Around Christmas of 2004 he quite suddenly came down with congestive heart failure. He was whisked away to a hospital where he spent a week there. during that time my son was born. My husband was in pretty rough shape for a while. He couldn't do anything, even really move (I'm quite serious here) without being short of breath. He couldn't sleep, he couldn't keep anything down because of his heavy dosages of medication. The doctors said he wouldn't survive the new year.
Well, he did. And he got better. The doctors were amazed with his improvement. After a year of constant doctor's visits and careful monitoring the doctors confidently told him that he would recover fully from this. Thank God. We moved on with our lives, raising Tyler, being together, etc.
Well, I guess our current hardships of finding a place to live are too much for Joe. 2 weeks ago he saw the doctor. He told me that the doctor told him that his heart wasn't performing as well as it was on their last appointment, but still ok. Cool. It's just the stress. As soon as we get this living stress out of the way, Joe will be fine...
Well, last night, he broke down and told me the truth of that doctor's appointment. His heart had gotten considerably worse. The doctors no longer think he is going to recover from this, ever. In fact, they say that he'll either remain struggling with it in its current condition or it'll worsen and he'll die. They actually told him that they don't know how long he has to live! He's still well enough that they're not forcing him to go to the hospital (though they prefer it), but that may change. I knew Joe wasn't feeling his best--he's been coughing more lately (with congestive heart failure, blood pools in the bottom of the lungs, making one short of breath. people often mistaken it for some sort of severe flu or lung disease.), he's been short of breath more easily, and just generally looking like crap, and popping a lot more nitro pills (those tiny white pills in those tiny, thick glass vials that people with heart problems may carry around. One places the pill under the tongue and lets it dissolve, used when they feel a heart spasm (or even a full blown heart attack) coming on). Stress does that to him, but he usually bounces back. Not this time, I guess.
Joe has an appointment with a heart specialist at the end of August to verify how bad his heart has gotten, do more tests, and discuss options (like a change in medication, but more than likely a heart transplant, something we've been praying wouldn't happen). I keep telling myself that maybe something positive will happen to relieve Joe's stress and he'll improve enough to have a more positive meeting with the specialist, and maybe they'll say he'll improve again. Such desperate, unlikely hopes. A lot can happen in a month, but probably nothing drastic enough to matter.
I guess Joe didn't want me to worry, which is why he waited before telling me about the appointment. I fought not to cry in front of him, and managed to succeed, though I bawled my eyes out this morning on the way to work in the privacy of the car. He cried last night. It's so heartbreaking to see a grown man cry, especially when he only cries when he's feeling utterly hopeless (in Joe's case, when he fears his life is going to end). Did we do something wrong lately that God feels he must take a total crap on our lives? It's bad enough that we're struggling to put a roof over our heads, despite both of us working. This has to happen too?
But, life will go on. It must, because moping about it will only worsen Joe's condition. We'll make a bigger deal of this if the specialist gives us grim news. Besides, they once told him that he wouldn't leave to see 2005 and he did, so...
I will continue to judge at shikon_awards. I will be participating in this month's iy_flashfic. Tyler will continue living his days as a rambunctious, adorable toddler. We will continue to fight to put a roof over our heads at a place that has far more people than the houses to put them in. We will continue, and hope to continue still for quite a while...
Thanks for reading. Sorry about the shitty news.
Go check out my uber sucky flashfic for July. Been a while since I posted! It's platonic Sess + Inu and it's supposed to be quite dark. I was actually quite proud of the fic, too, but it looks as though it probably won't be making an appearance on FF.net. (Ironically, I only post what I consider my "better" writing at FF.net even though the site is primarily a breeding ground for bad!fic.) cinnamongrr1's flashfic is much, much better! It's a refreshing, original Kikyou/Naraku fic, and it's got a delicious plot twist! Go read and comment to your heart's content!
Now, onto the darkness that is my real life. Meh. If you want to stay in a good mood or prevent further "oh geez, Alfbie is spazzing, not again, freakin'..." then please continue to browse the rest of your friend's page.
For those of you who are new, I am 23, married to a wonderful canadian man of 26. Around Christmas of 2004 he quite suddenly came down with congestive heart failure. He was whisked away to a hospital where he spent a week there. during that time my son was born. My husband was in pretty rough shape for a while. He couldn't do anything, even really move (I'm quite serious here) without being short of breath. He couldn't sleep, he couldn't keep anything down because of his heavy dosages of medication. The doctors said he wouldn't survive the new year.
Well, he did. And he got better. The doctors were amazed with his improvement. After a year of constant doctor's visits and careful monitoring the doctors confidently told him that he would recover fully from this. Thank God. We moved on with our lives, raising Tyler, being together, etc.
Well, I guess our current hardships of finding a place to live are too much for Joe. 2 weeks ago he saw the doctor. He told me that the doctor told him that his heart wasn't performing as well as it was on their last appointment, but still ok. Cool. It's just the stress. As soon as we get this living stress out of the way, Joe will be fine...
Well, last night, he broke down and told me the truth of that doctor's appointment. His heart had gotten considerably worse. The doctors no longer think he is going to recover from this, ever. In fact, they say that he'll either remain struggling with it in its current condition or it'll worsen and he'll die. They actually told him that they don't know how long he has to live! He's still well enough that they're not forcing him to go to the hospital (though they prefer it), but that may change. I knew Joe wasn't feeling his best--he's been coughing more lately (with congestive heart failure, blood pools in the bottom of the lungs, making one short of breath. people often mistaken it for some sort of severe flu or lung disease.), he's been short of breath more easily, and just generally looking like crap, and popping a lot more nitro pills (those tiny white pills in those tiny, thick glass vials that people with heart problems may carry around. One places the pill under the tongue and lets it dissolve, used when they feel a heart spasm (or even a full blown heart attack) coming on). Stress does that to him, but he usually bounces back. Not this time, I guess.
Joe has an appointment with a heart specialist at the end of August to verify how bad his heart has gotten, do more tests, and discuss options (like a change in medication, but more than likely a heart transplant, something we've been praying wouldn't happen). I keep telling myself that maybe something positive will happen to relieve Joe's stress and he'll improve enough to have a more positive meeting with the specialist, and maybe they'll say he'll improve again. Such desperate, unlikely hopes. A lot can happen in a month, but probably nothing drastic enough to matter.
I guess Joe didn't want me to worry, which is why he waited before telling me about the appointment. I fought not to cry in front of him, and managed to succeed, though I bawled my eyes out this morning on the way to work in the privacy of the car. He cried last night. It's so heartbreaking to see a grown man cry, especially when he only cries when he's feeling utterly hopeless (in Joe's case, when he fears his life is going to end). Did we do something wrong lately that God feels he must take a total crap on our lives? It's bad enough that we're struggling to put a roof over our heads, despite both of us working. This has to happen too?
But, life will go on. It must, because moping about it will only worsen Joe's condition. We'll make a bigger deal of this if the specialist gives us grim news. Besides, they once told him that he wouldn't leave to see 2005 and he did, so...
I will continue to judge at shikon_awards. I will be participating in this month's iy_flashfic. Tyler will continue living his days as a rambunctious, adorable toddler. We will continue to fight to put a roof over our heads at a place that has far more people than the houses to put them in. We will continue, and hope to continue still for quite a while...
Thanks for reading. Sorry about the shitty news.