(no subject)
I am so weak.
I am not at Biola on my own strength. It is the strength of blessing that has me here. I do not have all my relationships or "human interactions" healthy. I see areas where I am weak, where I am not treating people as Jesus treats them. I see that I do not apply my self as much as I should to my classes, that I do not have complete control over myself and my speech (last night I started complaining to my mom, and it put me in such a nasty attitude, and then I realized that I felt nasty because I was complaining, and Jesus tells us to "do everything without complaining or arguing" in Phillippians). I see that I
My ideas are not all sound. I have no idea what I am doing with guys, except that I am doing whatever I can to stay away because I don't want to make any silly, hasty decisions that put me in over my head. In my chorale, I am not the strongest person in there. I goof up plenty, feel very challenged, have to watch other soprano II's lips on one of our songs to make sure I'm coming in at the right time... I don't know what all my emotions mean, and my personality is changing! I am not the same person I was six months ago, and especially not a year ago. Believe it or not, I am less outgoing, more into spending time in solitude, and I'm not sure I talk as much or even bounce as much. This doesn't mean I am not happy though...I'm just cutting through emotion to see what the truth is.
I don't think I learned much from my old testament class.
I don't know what I'm going to do when I grow up, if I am going to grow up, or what even if I am in the right place with my major.
But here I freaking am. And really, I'm pretty okay with this. I DO know that God is changing me and working with me on these things, and He, in His timing, reveals how I am to be formed with each situation, and then He does that.
God is very active in forming me as a person, placing my steps and gently nudging my spirit into action.
So I feel secure, even though I am weak.
I am not at Biola on my own strength. It is the strength of blessing that has me here. I do not have all my relationships or "human interactions" healthy. I see areas where I am weak, where I am not treating people as Jesus treats them. I see that I do not apply my self as much as I should to my classes, that I do not have complete control over myself and my speech (last night I started complaining to my mom, and it put me in such a nasty attitude, and then I realized that I felt nasty because I was complaining, and Jesus tells us to "do everything without complaining or arguing" in Phillippians). I see that I
My ideas are not all sound. I have no idea what I am doing with guys, except that I am doing whatever I can to stay away because I don't want to make any silly, hasty decisions that put me in over my head. In my chorale, I am not the strongest person in there. I goof up plenty, feel very challenged, have to watch other soprano II's lips on one of our songs to make sure I'm coming in at the right time... I don't know what all my emotions mean, and my personality is changing! I am not the same person I was six months ago, and especially not a year ago. Believe it or not, I am less outgoing, more into spending time in solitude, and I'm not sure I talk as much or even bounce as much. This doesn't mean I am not happy though...I'm just cutting through emotion to see what the truth is.
I don't think I learned much from my old testament class.
I don't know what I'm going to do when I grow up, if I am going to grow up, or what even if I am in the right place with my major.
But here I freaking am. And really, I'm pretty okay with this. I DO know that God is changing me and working with me on these things, and He, in His timing, reveals how I am to be formed with each situation, and then He does that.
God is very active in forming me as a person, placing my steps and gently nudging my spirit into action.
So I feel secure, even though I am weak.