nothing better to do right now...
ok so there was this girl....a lady, really, girl sounds very immature. she was from one of these quiet little american places, but now lives in a big noisy american place, y'know? that's where most of the girls come from these days.
anyways, i was using her. i'd seen too many movies and decided my life was dispondent and that i was this brooding genius that no one would understand. such is life in cinema, along comes this american girl who's motto was "why not?" and had a thing for my face. i was this open wound, out of which the warm centre of the world seeped out and she....now she was the bandage holding it all in.
the deal was sweet, i'd play my troubled hand and she'd take me out of myself for an evening, night, morning, whatever. i'd get involved, superficially in what she was into, offering my two pennies whenever i managed to grasp what the hell she was talking about. i had to be above it all or it'd never had worked. falling down on either side was far too human for me. like rubix's cube.
she became, herself, not dispondent but satisfied with only having to love/fix me. there was a power there for a while. when we parted at the end of a night, i'd sometimes pray to die in such tragic circumstances....usually hit by a car or being shot stopping a robbery, something like that. it suited the lifestyle i wanted, finally getting ahead then being taken out. mourned by thousands and remembered intensely by one.
but then it went. she'd come home tired, only content to humour my stories about how hard i have to work. she was supposed to be there, saving my life with random nights out in strange locations i'd never think of going, all night house parties with recreational drugs that made me not feel younger but feel as old as i was. after time i'd had enough. y'know what she said?
"baby, it all fades away. that life before you, i had to have those times as it was me doing what i had to as to feel love. now, with you, this love kinda surpasses all that and i'm free to be this girl who will adore you forever knowing that you'll love me too. i don't need it anymore"
after that, i couldn't bring myself to see her again. selfish bitch. if i wanted to be content, i'd be a painting or some shit like that.
so, tonight, the story ends with me feeling dispondent, misunderstood etcetera, etcetera.
anyways, i was using her. i'd seen too many movies and decided my life was dispondent and that i was this brooding genius that no one would understand. such is life in cinema, along comes this american girl who's motto was "why not?" and had a thing for my face. i was this open wound, out of which the warm centre of the world seeped out and she....now she was the bandage holding it all in.
the deal was sweet, i'd play my troubled hand and she'd take me out of myself for an evening, night, morning, whatever. i'd get involved, superficially in what she was into, offering my two pennies whenever i managed to grasp what the hell she was talking about. i had to be above it all or it'd never had worked. falling down on either side was far too human for me. like rubix's cube.
she became, herself, not dispondent but satisfied with only having to love/fix me. there was a power there for a while. when we parted at the end of a night, i'd sometimes pray to die in such tragic circumstances....usually hit by a car or being shot stopping a robbery, something like that. it suited the lifestyle i wanted, finally getting ahead then being taken out. mourned by thousands and remembered intensely by one.
but then it went. she'd come home tired, only content to humour my stories about how hard i have to work. she was supposed to be there, saving my life with random nights out in strange locations i'd never think of going, all night house parties with recreational drugs that made me not feel younger but feel as old as i was. after time i'd had enough. y'know what she said?
"baby, it all fades away. that life before you, i had to have those times as it was me doing what i had to as to feel love. now, with you, this love kinda surpasses all that and i'm free to be this girl who will adore you forever knowing that you'll love me too. i don't need it anymore"
after that, i couldn't bring myself to see her again. selfish bitch. if i wanted to be content, i'd be a painting or some shit like that.
so, tonight, the story ends with me feeling dispondent, misunderstood etcetera, etcetera.