Shattered Watch Part 11 of 12

[alexrogersstark]

Title: The Double Edged Sword

Fandom(s): Avengers, Iron Man, Captain America

Characters: Tony Stark and Steve Rogers

Pairing(s): Tony Stark/Steve Rogers

Rating:  R

Summary: All Tony Stark wanted to do was enjoy his         last year at M.I.T.  before his father dragged him back home to    work     for  S.I. That was thrown  a little off kilter by a small,    teenie,   tiny   bump  in the road.  Steve Rogers, the Steve Rogers,  as   in  Captain    America -  even if he  was pre-serum - somehow got    himself    time-whammied  from the  year 1942 to  2002, which was fun.    It was    great. All good.  Except it  honestly wasn’t  because Steve    Rogers was  a   bit of a dick,  and he really  needed to get  back to    1942 because  of   space-time  continuum reasons.   When Steve got    thrown into the  year   2002, Tony  Stark was his only  hope  in   getting  back home.  Except,   neither of them  seemed to be able to   be   around  one another  without   constantly stomping  on one  another’s  feet,    which shouldn’t  have   really been a problem,  what  with Steve  having  to   get back  home,  which  happened to be sixty   years in the  past.  Key word:    shouldn’t.   It got  a little more   problematic  when he  started to  fall  for the   genius and  vice  versa. Now  he had  to  decide whether to  go back  home  to  1942, or   stay in the  future  and  be with Tony  Stark.

Genres: Comedy, Slash, Romance, Alternate Universe: Cannon Divergence, Smut, Hurt/Comfort.



Warnings:  None

Word count: 9563

Early morning light gleamed pleasantly through the open window, a cool breeze greeting the room with whispered, “Good morning.” Tony opened his eyes slowly,     squinting at the unearthly brightness, a frown forming in his forehead only to mat his lips a few moments later. Least to say, he was not a morning person, and no amount of open windows, smiling suns, and chirping birds was going to change that. Tony had hated mornings since the day he was born, and he was going to continue to hate mornings until the day he died. Watch and see.

Letting out a disgruntled purr and scrunching up his nose, Tony dug his head deeper into the thing currently working as a makeshift pillow. It was a fairly shitty pillow, in his opinion. The thing was poky and spindly with not enough cushion. It smelled like the Old Spice Captain scent. There was a constant ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump in his ear. Oh, and it constantly moved up and down without break or pause.

See? Shitty pillow.

However, the person making up said pillow made the uncomfortableness worth it.

Tony’s hand grasped Steve’s white V-neck sleep shirt, wrinkling the smooth material in the palm of his hand. He swore that if he didn’t grab on to something, he was going to fall right out of the twin bed they were currently occupying. His ass was less than an inch away from the edge, and it had no desire of meeting the ground so early in the morning.

Eyes fell shut softly, but whatever it was that had woken him up set the day in motion. There was no going back to sleep now.

Opening his eyes back up, Tony gave them time to dilate and adjust to the new light settings. Using one arm to hoist himself up onto his elbow, he leaned forward to the nightstand and picked up the newest addition to his technology family. As heathenous as it was, he held a charcoal grey Mio Polaroid camera that dimly reflected the light in its matte paint. It really was a very pretty piece of technology, but a part of him couldn’t help but long to rip it apart, see how it ticked, and make a better version. He just didn’t have time to make a much more gorgeous, much more functional one. As he said, heathenous.

Laying back down, Tony rested his head on Steve’s shoulder, holding the camera out with one hand and grabbing Steve’s hand in the other, bringing it to his lips. Kissing the back of Steve’s hand gently, his fingers pressed the button down in a firm click! and the flash went off.

Damn. He’d forgotten about that.

Beneath him, Tony felt Steve begin to stir, and he brought the camera down, pulling out the picture and waving it back and forth. The hand he had been holding went up to rub the sleep from Steve’s face, the other wrapping itself beneath Tony’s lower back and gripping at his hip.

“What’re you doin’?” Steve slurred with a yawn.

Craning his head up, Tony kissed the underside of Steve’s jaw. “Sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Steve groaned, other arm wrapping itself around Tony’s torso in an awkward hug. “What was that?”

“The flash?” Tony asked innocently, and Steve harrumphed his agreeance. “Oh, nothing, nothing. Just a picture.” And then he was moving, disentangling himself from Steve’s arms and throwing one leg over Steve’s waist, straddling his lap. Automatically, the older man’s hands were on his hips, holding Tony steady as morning sky blue eyes stared up at him. “And what a cute picture it is,” Tony hummed softly, leaning down to capture Steve’s mouth in a kiss.

It was nice. This was nice. The kissing and snuggling and having someone to lie in bed with. He hadn’t ever had this before, and everything about this was so far out of Tony’s element, but it was good. Him and Steve, it hadn’t been something he’d allowed himself to imagine that he would get, even when the man crash landed into the future. In fact, the idea of them seemed more impossible than it had when Tony was simply reading and daydreaming about a Captain America from his comic books and posters.

Funny how life worked out sometimes.

Pulling back quickly, Tony practically bounced with excitement as he turned the picture to show Steve. “See? Cute.”

The man in question frowned and sighed in response, eyeing the picture with distaste. “Well, one of us is.”

“Yeah,” Tony chirped, rolling his eyes and leaning back to the nightstand to rummage through the drawer. “The one sleeping.” And, to punctuate the statement, Tony pulled out a pin and pinned the picture up to the blank dorm room wall. Leaning back, he folded his arms and admired his handy work. “Look, now I finally have something on here.”

“Mmm, the first of many.”

Tony snorted, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes. “Like we have time.”

“We cou-” Tony wriggled back even more, and evil smile coming to his face when he felt something poke at his tailbone. Steve’s hands gripped him even tighter, forcing his movements to a stop. “Tony,” he warned.

“What?!” Tony exclaimed, throwing his arms out. “We totally could, y’know. Rhodey’s gone and you seem more than willing.”

Steve sighed, shifting Tony off to the side and rolling out of bed. “We’ve talked about this, Tony. You’re only seventeen.”

“Yes, but you have my full, conscience consent,” Tony argued, sitting back on the bed and watching as Steve stretched, making his way to the stack of smelly running clothes piled in the corner.

“Doesn’t matter,” Steve told him, pulling off his sleep shirt and pulling on the running shirt. “You’re still underage, something I already feel guilty for. Maybe we’re… I dunno, moving a little fast?”

Tony frowned, crossing his arms and sending Steve a glare. “What do you even mean? All we’ve done is sleep together. Lit-er-all-ey.”

“Still,” Steve gave him a pointed looking, pulling on the rest of his clothing. He walked back over to Tony, who made his way to the edge of his bed. Leaning down, Steve kissed him lightly on the forehead. “I’ll be back.”

Tony grumbled under his breath before calling out to Steve as he opened the door. “Don’t forget that we’re meeting Rhodey and Pepper at Shake Shack for lunch today for my pre-birthday celebration.”

“I’ll be back before then,” Steve promised, stepping out.

“Hey!” Tony yelled just as the door was about to close, and Steve’s head poked back in looking adorably exasperated. “You still owe me a hot fudge cookie dough shake.”

“For which I will use your money to pay for all on my own,” Steve told him before pulling his head out and firmly closing the door.

Grumbling incoherent mutters, Tony laid back on the bed, staring blankly up at the ceiling. Eyes wandering, he glared at the picture of Steve, feeling guilt lace his body like a sweet red wine. He’d finished the laser a week ago, and the energy storage system had enough juice to power the entire solar system for a day - something he could definitely look farther into later on. But it was time. Steve could go back to 1942 whenever he wanted. That was his home, where he belonged; Steve was needed there. It’s just… Tony wanted two more days. Selfish, yes, but he just wanted to have Steve for a little while longer.

Tony would tell him. He would…

After his birthday.

It was infuriating because all Tony needed was a little more time. Time to keep Steve and get to know him and tell him everything and be told everything. To make this into that kind of something that other people dreamed of and hoped for because Steve was special and being with Steve was special. Tony knew he and Steve could get there if given the chance. He could practically hear the “I love you’s” and talks about moving in together and getting married and all that disgustingly sappy bullshit he didn’t used to want. He just wanted more time.

Ironically, the time machine did not give him that.

O_o

The smells of wonderfully fried food wafted through the air, and Tony let himself take a deep breath in. It almost made up for the uncomfortable, cool white porcelain of the booth he was sitting in. Leaning back farther into the booth and the red vinyl cushion behind him, he smiled up at Steve as the warmth he provided left Tony’s side. In return, Steve rolled those gorgeous blue eyes, but couldn’t seem to keep his own lips from quirking up.

“Thank you!” Tony called behind him as Steve made his way back to the counter of the practically empty restaurant.

Tony flipped back around when he heard Rhodey mutter, “You two are disgusting.” How he managed to be both jokingly amused and deadly serious at the same time, Tony would never know. All he knew was that the next words weren’t a surprise. “Aren’t you two, I dunno, Tones. Moving a little fast?”

Pepper elbowed her boyfriend, frowning at him slightly with a shake of her head so minute that Tony almost didn’t catch it. “I think it’s cute,” she directed to him, taking her eyes off Rhodey after their silent argument. Giving Tony a quick smile, she turned back to searching in her purse before eventually letting out a sigh. “I’m just gonna run to the restroom real quick.”

Silently, they watched her go until she disappeared into the small hallway with the black restroom sign screwed to the white, tiled wall. When Rhodey looked back at him, Tony narrowed his eyes slightly and tilted his head.

“You think Steve and I are moving too fast?” he asked, trying to keep his tone light and innocent and not at all accusatory.

His best friend raised his chin and folded his arms. “Yes. Ever since he asked you out, the two of you have been attached at the hip. For Christ’s sake! Just last week you skipped out on our scheduled video game day to go to a fair with him. A fair. You know I love you Tones; I’m just worried, is all. You hate clowns.” Tony snorted, and Rhodey gave him a small smile, relaxing his still posture.

Glancing behind him, Tony checked to make sure Steve was still a safe distance away. Luckily, the man seemed to have gotten distracted from his mission of getting Tony more ketchup and was currently examining the quarter prize machines.

Turning back around, he leaned forward as he met Rhodey’s eyes. “If I tell you something, will you promise me that you won’t tell another soul? Not even Pepper?”

The man in front of him tensed again, and Tony had to resist the urge to roll his eyes as Rhodey’s eyes found Steve and began glaring him down. “What’d he do?” he practically growled.

At that, Tony did roll his eyes, waving off Rhodey’s look of concern. “Down, boy. He’s fine. I’m fine. We’re both fine, but I need to tell you something. So do you swear, Sugar Bear, on your life that you won’t tell anyone else anything I’m about to tell you?”

Easing himself back, Rhodey continued to glance threateningly at Steve. He nodded, and Tony could see the clenching and unclenching of his jaw. Taking a deep breath, Tony began talking. “Okay, so here’s the thing. Steve, my Steve, is actually the Steve. As in, Steve Rogers. A.K.A. Captain America. He kind of travelled here at the beginning of summer and bumped into me - remember that? The party? So anyway, I promised to build him a time machine to get him back home, which I kind of finished, which also means he kinda has to leave soon. And, as you know, tomorrow is my birthday. My eighteenth birthday, Honey Bun.

“So here’s where I need your help in brainstorming.” He finally paused to take a breath but just as quickly continued as Rhodey stared at him wide eyed, open mouthed. “I should totally lose my virginity to Captain America, right?”

The man in front of him said nothing, continuing to stare at him, so Tony tried again.

“I mean, that would be the coolest loss of virginity story ever. Even if no one will believe me. And I know, I know. You wanna make sure I’m okay and the feelings thing is, y’know, solid between us, but we’ve been dating for three weeks, and don’t think I haven’t asked him about it already. He keeps saying no because I’m too young, so you got the morals thing there, too. Seriously, some people just sleep with each other on the first date, like you and Pepper. No offence. So while you may think it’s too soon, I might have to disagree because of all that,” he said, waving his hands in Rhodey’s general direction.

Still nothing, and Tony moved forward even more, leaning his elbow on the table and feeling it mash uncomfortably against the hard surface. His other hand waved back in forth in front of Rhodey’s blank gaze. “Hello? C’mon, Sugar Snap. I really, really need you to answer so I know that you’re jealous that I get to lose my virginity to Captain America.”

Rhodey’s eyes finally blinked back to him and his mouth moved up and down as if attempting and failing to form words. He seemed to settle on: “He- I- Steve’s Captain America?”

“Yes,” Tony sighed exasperatedly, sitting back down. “We’ve already been over that part. Can we please focus on that last bit because Steve’s gonna be back any minute.”

A frown formed on Rhodey’s face, and he placed his elbow on the table, pointing a finger at Tony. “You’re yanking my chain right now; you’re messing with me.”

Shaking his head, Tony sighed. “No, Honey Bunches of Oats. And here I thought you knew me. Would I ever make up such a bullshit story? No. Now please! Help meee. Remember? My virginity? That part. Focus on that part.”

“That’s Captain America?” Rhodey turned his hand to point towards Steve who was, as Tony had suspected, finally making his way back towards the table. “And you’re telling me he time travelled here? Seriously.”

Tony pouted, folding his arms and slumping back into the booth with a huff. “Seriously,” he droned as Steve sidled next to him. Under his breath, Tony grumbled loud enough for his completely useless best friend to hear: “Fine, focus on the unimportant part of the story. No help at all. Jackass.”

Steve looked between him and the still gaping Rhodey who wan currently examining Steve like he was some exhibit at a body farm - don’t ask about it. It’s in everyone’s best interest to simply ignore the fact that he and Rhodey had taken a trip to a body farm on one memorable occasion to help Rhodey pass the Forensic Science class he had been taking. If you don’t know what a body farm is, don’t look it up. Tony still had nightmares.

“Uhh,” Steve started. “Is something wrong?”

“No,” Tony snapped, sticking his tongue out at Rhodey right as Pepper reached her seat as well. “But we should go,” he insisted, basically shoving Steve from the booth again.

The blond stared at him in utter confusion, and Tony packed their food into their bag. “But we haven’t even eaten, Tony. I just got your ketchup.”

“We’ll take it to the park,” Tony demanded, once again unceremoniously pushing at Steve to get him to go towards the doors. “Some people refuse to be helpful!” he shouted over his shoulder.

O_o

Night came much too quickly. It was almost as if as soon as Tony realized how little time he had left with Steve, the little shit decided to speed up like some broken down speedometer. It was absolutely infuriating.

As the two got ready for bed, Steve smiled softly at him, and Tony’s stomach did that flip-floppy thing in his abdomen. He wondered if Steve would be down for staying up all night two nights in a row. Probably not.

Settling on the twin mattress next to Steve, automatically being pulled onto the older man’s chest, Tony watched as the blond fell asleep. He felt the rise and fall of Steve’s breaths even out and slow down. Heard the beat of heart slow. Felt the hand and arm around him go slack. And when all the signs of sleep fell into place, Tony moved.

As stealthily as he could, Tony untangled himself from Steve’s arms and crept out of the bed. Pulling on a robe and sliding his feet into the fluffy, fuzzy slippers Pepper and Rhodey had gotten him as an early birthday gift, Tony pushed the door open and slid out.

The walk to the lab was quick, a trail of darkened grass following him in marked path.

It felt akin to a secret, him leaving Steve in the middle of the night and coming here. Like it was something he wasn’t really supposed to do, yet when he opened the door to the lab, shutting it firmly behind him, he felt himself slump against the door and let out a breath of air. This felt like both a relief and a strain.

“Are you alright, Sir?” J.A.R.V.I.S.’s voice came through the darkness, and Tony covered his face in his hands, crouching down on the cold tile floor.

“Does it always feel like this?” Tony asked, and he didn’t expect a real answer, not one that could help him, but sometimes it helped, the talking. Even if it was to himself.

“Does what feel a certain way?”

Tony paused, taking his hands from his face and falling back until his butt met the floor. Staring intently at the patterns on the tile, he began counting the dark grey spots of gradient in the white. One, two, three, four, five… “Being with someone. L… liking them. Is it supposed to feel like this?”

“Like what, Sir?”

He sighed. Twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven. “Like, all confusing and conflicting and stuff.”

J.A.R.V.I.S. was silent for a moment, and Tony supposed he was most likely trying to research through whatever the internet had to offer, but Tony didn’t want that. He didn’t want advice from some guy in New Jersey who had never had a girlfriend and whose current profession was video gaming in his mother’s basement. What he really wanted to do was ask Steve about it. To ask Rhodey about it. To ask Pepper about it. Because they knew why he would be feeling awkward being in a relationship he wanted more than anything.

“I don’t believe there is much I can offer as to an answer to this, Sir. It is beyond my parameters, and while I’ve been designed and programmed to serve you in any way that I can, I cannot tell you the answer to this because I do not know it myself. I have not yet collected enough data on you and your mannerisms to tell if this is the proper reaction for you.”

That made Tony smile, staring up at the ceiling and eyeing one of the matte, grey speakers cutting out a circle in the white, foam panels. “I guess that’s something you’ll learn with time.”

“As will you,” J.A.R.V.I.S. said, and despite his lack of face, Tony could have sworn he heard a fond smile in the A.I.’s voice.

Picking himself up off the floor, Tony made his way over to his workbench, making an offhand comment about testing the time machine again and snagging one of the apples Steve had brought him a few days ago. And that’s how he spent a better part of his night: cutting paper thin slices of the apple and sending it a few minutes into the future and catching it mid-air to bring to his mouth and eat. Tony wasn’t the biggest fan of apples for health reasons - he was on a sole junk food and fast food diet, thank you very much - but they were far more appealing when they were time-travelling apples; he did like his men like he liked his apples.

Every so often, he found himself looking towards Steve’s corner, words of excitement on the tip of his tongue from a nice catch or beautiful throw, only to remember that he was alone. There was no one to enjoy this with, something that never used to bother him, but all he wanted right now was to look up and see Steve with that smile on his face. The smile that meant he was impressed with Tony, that he was proud of him, that Steve somehow wanted to be nowhere else but right there. No one else had ever wanted to just… be there. But Steve did.

And shit. That… that definitely meant something. Something like…

Shaking his head of the niggling emotion in the back of his mind, Tony looked at the clock on his computer. Just passed midnight.

As if on cue, the door to the lab opened softly, and he looked up to see a familiar silhouette making its way towards him in the darkness.

“Something wrong?” Steve’s voice carried, reaching him almost as soon as the man himself did. Tony instantly felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist, and he couldn’t help sinking back into the warmth.

“No,” he sighed contentedly, lips quirking. “Couldn’t sleep, so I thought I might as well tinker.”

“Mmm,” Steve hummed, nuzzling into the back of Tony’s neck.

It was in that moment that Tony knew, without a doubt, what he wanted to do. Telling Rhodey was one thing. That… that had the appeal of the shock factor, which was his favorite factor to pull on Rhodey. But something tugged deep in his gut, climbing its way to his stomach, making it clench up with tingles. Then it made its way up to his chest, and he felt his heart involuntarily speed up, beating on his ribcage like a drum. It reached the bottom of his throat, right where his collar bones met, and a lump formed that he was having difficulty swallowing around. As it crawled its way onto Tony’s tongue, blood began rushing to his ears, and he was just able to hear Steve whisper, “Happy birthday, by the way,” over the roar of the crashing waves of the ocean.

He almost didn’t let the man finish as he turned forcefully in Steve’s arms and pulled the blond closer to himself, yanking at the back of his neck so their lips would meet in a wet, messy kiss. Steve harrumphed into Tony’s mouth, but he got with the program fairly quickly and pulled Tony closer, sliding his arms firmly over Tony’s lower back. The blanket Steve had come in with dropped from his shoulders, curling up on the floor just behind his feet.

Pulling back with a smack, Tony looked deeply into Steve’s eyes. In this light, they were almost cobalt. A steady storm raging over rocky seas.

“Have sex with me,” Tony blurted with his rapid exhale. The arms at his back loosened immediately, and he felt the tug of Steve pulling back at his fingertips. He gripped tighter as he watched Steve open his mouth with a ready response, but Tony bulldozed on. “Please,” he begged, and his voice already sounded wrecked. He hadn’t known how much he really needed this until the moment came, and he did. He needed it more than he needed air. No, right now, at this moment, Tony needed this more than he needed to be an engineer. The tingling of his limbs strengthened at the thought of this. Of them. This was what he needed, wanted, more than anything. Just now. Just this once. And then. Then he could let go. He would be strong enough to let it go.

But Tony had always been a selfish person. So he was going to take. He was going to take everything that Steve was willing to give him while he still could, damn the consequences. Damn the world and its ideologies on homosexuality. Damn his father and the reputation he needed to keep in order to run that shit-show of a company. Damn these mixed feelings in his own head.

He was Tony Fucking Stark, and there was only going to be one time he could lose his virginity, and this was going to be it. It was going to be with someone who might actually give two shits about him, something he wasn’t sure he was going to be graced with again. So while he had this chance, whether it was too fast or not, Tony was going to give Steve Rogers everything he could possibly give. Tony had given Steve a place to sleep, food, a nook, and art station. Now he wanted to give Steve one last thing: himself.

And Tony wanted to give that to Steven Grant Rogers. Not Captain America. Not some comic book hero. Steve. Tony wanted to give that to Steve.

“Please,” he whispered again, voice coming out hoarse and needy and desperate, but Tony didn’t care.

Steve’s grip did funny things as his arms unwound from Tony’s waist and clenched and unclenched at his obliques. “I- Tony- you… you’re-”

“Eighteen,” he finished. “I’m eighteen now, and I’m more than smart enough to make my own decisions; I have been for a while now, Steve. I- let me- let me do this for you.”

The larger man instantly shook his head vehemently back and forth. “Tony, no. I don’t want you to do anything for me. You-you literally just turned eighteen. I’m almost ten years older than you. Maybe we should slow down. I don’t… I promise, Tony, all I want is this. You, and nothing else.”

“Then let me give you that,” Tony argued, fire raging in his voice, in his eyes. Fire and ice, he thought. Fire always wins. “I want to do that. This. I want- I need you to do this for me, Steve. I want to do it for you, but I need you to do it for me.”

“Why? Why can’t we wait?” Steve asked.

Tony frowned at him, looking up into those eyes. The eyes that could tell stories all by themselves. “Do you not want to?”

The grip tightened again. “Of course I want to. You’re gorgeous, Tony. But you’ve never… I mean, I’m assuming you’ve never. And you’re still so young, and this isn’t a decision you make in the heat of a moment. You need to be sure and ready. I need you to be sure and ready.”

“But I am,” Tony insisted. “I didn’t… this wasn’t something I decided just now, Steve. I’ve been thinking about it. I’ve thought about it probably before we even started dating. I’m done thinking. It’s you, Steve. It’s always going to be you. I don’t want to wait anymore.”

Steve was quiet for a moment, eyes searching Tony’s, probably looking for uncertainty. For hesitation. But there was none. Tony had none to give. Maybe in the morning he would; maybe when he remembered that Steve was leaving. Maybe then all that conflict and indecision would come back like a summer storm. But not about this. Never about this. Tony knew in his bones, the way he knew about going to M.I.T., about becoming an engineer and inventor, about meeting Rhodey and Pepper, about creating J.A.R.V.I.S., that he wasn’t ever going to regret this.

There may be times in the future where he would daydream and wish they could have done it a few months later. Possibly in a big bed after a fancy night out, or in a new apartment they would buy together in California where Steve could see the ocean right from their bedroom window because he’d never seen the sea before. And they would spend the day moving their stuff in and beginning to unpack, and they would set the bed up and make love to the view of the beach and the sounds of the waves. It could’ve happened after they’d both gotten tested for S.T.D.’s and didn’t have to worry about HIV/AIDS, and they could really feel one another. It could’ve happened after he knew every nook and cranny that was Steve Rogers. Knew exactly what made him tick, like his greatest hopes and his worst fears. Met all of his family and friends through stories, good and bad. When he could tell it was Steve coming home just by the sounds of his steps and jingling of his keys. And Steve would know everything about him in return.

Tomorrow morning, Tony might wish that.

But he would know, like he always did, that none of that had ever been an option. That none of that really mattered because this was it. And as far as real life went, this was perfect. It would always be perfect. A memory cherished above all others that he would keep locked away in the recesses of his mind where no one, not even himself, could tarnish it, and waking up tomorrow with the wish that they’d simply had more time wasn’t going to change that.

So no, there was no hesitancy.

So Steve let the cards fall where they may. Let them flutter with a parachuting whoosh exactly where they were supposed to land.

“If you’re sure,” he said.

“I am,” Tony insisted, pulling Steve back towards him and walking them back in the direction of Steve’s nook. “I am,” he repeated against the taller man’s mouth.

When Tony’s back hit the countertop, Steve pulled away again, and Tony let out a whine of displeasure. However, this time, Steve only gave him a soft smile, shaking his head. “Maybe we should do this somewhere else. Like a bed,” he suggested.

Tony wrinkled his nose, looking up at Steve. “Bed’s not gonna be better than this. Plus, I like your corner, and I like my lab, so just… c’mon,” he insisted, grabbing at the bottom of his shirt and beginning to yank it over his head, but Steve stopped him, preventing the shirt from getting much farther than his belly button.

“Slow down, Tony,” Steve murmured, pushing Tony’s hands out of the way to take the shirt himself. “Breath, okay? There’s no rush. Let me do this for you too?” he asked, peeling the shirt off Tony slowly, watching him intently. Tony nodded slowly, silently, gaze entrapped by Steve’s.

For the first time in weeks, the downward counting clock lagged. Sluggishly, Tony raised his arms, feeling his heart somehow speed up and stop for an infinite amount of beats all at the same time. Their eyes remained locked until the older man lifted his shirt above and over his head, and then his vision was clear once again as Steve tossed the piece of fabric aside carelessly, hands taking its place in covering Tony’s skin.

The first skin on skin contact at his bare sides was akin to lying in sun drenched sand. Steve’s hands felt rough to novice nerve endings, but they were warm and all-encompassing and safe. He mostly just heard himself gasp, hearing the noise like it was coming into water-logged ears. His vision tunneled so far beneath the Earth’s crust he could only comprehend the blackness that surrounded him. All of his organs and tissues and cells seemed to have stopped doing their jobs the second Steve’s hands were on him. It was like the world was in suspension. If he didn’t take a breath soon, he was going to suffocate.

Steve stepped impossibly closer, clothed chest scraping against Tony’s bare one, hands holding slim hips, and Tony’s arms settled around Steve neck to help keep himself upright, encouraging the decreasing space. The older man burrowed his head in the crook of Tony’s neck and shoulder, and Tony could feel soft hairs brushing just beneath his jaw and earlobe. A nose traced lazily along his skin, warm puffs of breath defrosting it. Hands moved so arms could replace them, pulling Tony into another hug so hearts beat fervently against one another.

Head lolling to the side, Tony gasped when he felt Steve’ tongue dart out and lick an unflinching stripe from his collarbone to just beneath his ear. Snapping his head back, Tony grabbed the back of Steve’s neck to pull his lips down into a fierce, searing kiss. The blond’s arms left him, and he felt Steve pull back for a moment. Tony opened his eyes just in time to see Steve yanking his ratty, old pajama shirt over his head.

Tony had been right all those weeks ago. Steve had definitely filled out some due to all that running and working out with Rhodey. Slight muscle was building around his biceps and pectorals, defining the shapes a little more than they used to. If Tony looked close enough, he could see the faint outlines of a six pack beginning to form. Ah, the modern miracles of proper food intake and inhalers.

Taking a step forward, Steve cupped Tony’s cheek, and brown flashed up to meet blue. He felt a dopey smile come across his face, and Tony thought that this kind of drunk beat that of alcohol any day. Steve smiled back, all soft and relaxed, but still controlled. A smile that promised Tony could lose his mind in the next few minutes, and he would be completely taken care of.

It was a nice smile.

Closing his eyes, Tony grabbed Steve’s hand in his own, leaning into it and turning his head slightly to kiss the palm. Then he let go and yanked down his bottoms before he chickened out. The palm on his cheek trailed down his neck and back, stopping at the curve of his butt and yanking him forward, causing him to stumble into Steve’s chest, their mouths catching in another kiss. The fingers of Steve’s other hand played deviously with the hem of Tony’s boxers. In response, Tony let himself take hold of Steve’s pants and pull them down in a swift, insistent movement.

As they pooled around Steve’s ankles, the blond stepped out of them, leading Tony back towards the counter until it once again pressed firmly into his lower back. Grasping at the edge, Tony hopped up, spreading his thighs to let Steve settle comfortably between them as their mouths continued their dance.

Then Steve’s thumb dipped beneath the stretchy waistband, lightly brushing coarse hairs. Tony pulled back as if burned - and maybe he truly had been - throwing his head back to rest against the cool window at the promise of a touch. He choked out a sobbing, “Steve!” feeling the plastic blinds digging roughly into his scalp, but Tony couldn’t care less.

“Shh, alright, okay,” Steve soothed. “Lay down, back against the pillows and cushions, alright?”

Tony pulled himself the rest of the way onto the wide counter, missing Steve’s warmth as the window seeped cool air into the lab, but reposed against the cushions anyway. He really had made a comfortable nook. There was a small cushion that had been laid atop the counter perfectly, providing a small amount of padding for Steve to sit and lay on while he read. The massive amounts of pillows provided the perfect wall between hard surface and body. It was complete with all the furnishings, and could give decent competition to his actual bed.

He felt the edge of the foam cushion press down, and he propped his head up to watch as Steve kneeled between his spread legs.

“Beautiful,” Steve breathed, and Tony felt an intense heat form on his cheekbones. Steve’s hands were, just as Tony had hoped, back on him, returning the warmth the window had stolen. Fingers brushed roughly over his nipples, and Tony felt himself jump as a gasp was wrenched from his throat. His cock jumped at the touch, a rush of blood bursting downward. Steve’s hands followed, caressing his ribcage, stomach, and then stopping as they reached their last barrier. Silently, Tony lifted his hips in permission, feeling fingers hook and drag the last of his clothing away.

It was… weird, being this exposed to someone. He had changed in locker rooms before, and the shower in the building was pretty communal, but this was different. This was someone looking at him. Looking only at him with single-minded focus, examining him. Possessing him.

Tony shivered.

He heard rather than saw Steve shuck off his own boxers, and he had a brief thought of something like, What a shame, but then that body was on him, and it wasn’t such a shame anymore.

Steve’s hands pressed on either side of Tony’s ribs, and he lowered himself to pull Tony into a sloppy kiss, which also had the effect of their cocks rubbing together in a sticky slide. Cutting the kiss off with a sharp inhale, Tony arched into the newest of sensations, wanting more but not quite sure how to ask for it.

Bringing his nose back to Tony’s neck, Steve began placing butterfly kisses along the stretched tendons and collarbones. “How do you want to do this?” he asked, voice coming out husky and rough.

Rolling his head side to side, Tony wasn’t sure how to answer. How could you tell someone what you wanted when you weren’t really sure of that yourself? Sure, he knew about the birds and the bees, and he hadn’t just learned sex terms via Google articles, and he had one hell of an idea before Steve caused his blood pressure to spike and his entire body to malfunction. Jesus, Tony had always prided himself in his genius, and now he couldn’t even formulate a single thought. His mind was blank. Decidedly and deliciously blank.

“I want- I want…” he stammered, but there was no end for him to reach. No specific goal in mind. He wanted Steve. That was it. “You,” he finished, giving up.

Letting out a chuckle, Steve pushed himself up, making Tony whine at the loss of heat and friction. The older man soothed him, smiling down at Tony with bright eyes. “I need lube and condoms. Do you have those in here?”

The cool air rushed into Tony’s breath, clearing his mind long enough for him to lean up on his elbows and nod to Steve as the man climbed off the countertop. “The- it’s in the middle drawer. The drawer beneath the blueprints.”

“Expecting to get lucky?” Steve asked with a laugh, bending over to rustle through the contents in the drawer. This time, Tony did let his eyes drink in the vision before him, and Steve did not disappoint. God, he loved running. Not for himself! No. But boy did it do wonders for Steve. Tony watched with an awed appreciation for the concave dimples forming on either side of Steve’s ass as the muscles worked, and the man’s thighs were nicely rounded out with sturdy mass. Tony may now have a thing for runners. Well, Steve being a runner. He had a thing for Steve being a runner.

“With the way things are turning out, I’m thinking I wasn’t on the wrong track,” he quipped.

Standing up, Steve turned around with a bemused smile and made his way back to Tony. Setting the lube and one golden condom packet next to Tony’s feet, Steve squatted in front of Tony’s face, bringing their heads level. Tony turned onto his side, pillowing his head in the curve of his elbow. “Feeling coherent?” Steve questioned softly, reaching a hand out to rub his thumb over the wrinkle in Tony’s forehead.

“Mmm,” Tony hummed, closing his eyes. “You were gone for too long. Distractions don’t work if you leave in the middle of them.”

“I’m sorry. Next time I’ll be sure to have everything stored somewhere far more convenient for you,” Steve snarked.

“Thank you,” Tony nodded, opening his eye to catch Steve rolling his own and grinning at him. The smile softened slightly, and the pressure of Steve’s thumb caused his body to sink further into the mat. “Is it gonna hurt?” Tony mumbled, searching blue orbs for the truth.

The back of Steve’s fingers came to brush along his cheek, and those eyes softened like an afternoon low tide. “Maybe a little, at first, but that’s normal.”

“And then it feels good?” Tony continued, insistent like he were forming a hypothesis before testing so he could be prepared for the final results.

A quiet laugh bubbled against Steve’s kiss swollen lips, and it was a good look for him. The mussed and wild hair, the no clothes. Steve should stay like this forever. “Yes, Tony. I promise, but if you don’t like it, if it’s too painful, if there is any point you want to stop, you have to tell me. Okay?”

Lethargically, Tony nodded. “Yeah, okay.”

Steve nodded back, running a hand through Tony’s hair one last time before standing up and making his way back into the counter.

Flipping onto his back, Tony spread his thighs wide enough to give Steve plenty of room. He watched intently as the blond popped the lid of the bottle open and rubbed the liquid between his fingertips to warm it. Steve held his other hand out, a silent question for a pillow, which Tony promptly gave, lifting his hips up so Steve could set it beneath them.

As Steve lowered his fingers, Tony felt his heartbeat pick up again, muscles immediately clenching. As much as he wanted this, craved it with all his being, a part of him was scared because he had no idea what this was going to be like, and Tony hated not knowing. The men in the videos he’d watched always seemed to enjoy themselves, but that was a whole big production, right? All lights, camera, and action!

His breath caught when the pad of Steve’s index fingers pressed against his hole, his body jerking slightly, but the man made no move to push in. Slowly, Steve began to rub the muscles gently, in small presses and strokes. Tony’s breath hitched at the sensation, clenching his jaw and readying himself to tell Steve to just get on with it! But then Steve took him by surprise, bending down and wrapping his mouth around the head of Tony’s dick. It was like an electric shock had been administered, waving its way up his stomach and to his brain, leaving twitching tingles in its wake as his back arched deeply off the mat, mouth opening in choked pants. Steve’s other hand came up to insistently press Tony’s hips down, keeping the younger man in place as he slipped his tongue into the leaking slit and then taking Tony further into his mouth.

“Steve!” Tony sobbed, fists clenching the blanket he had covered the foam cushion with, feeling it lift and ball into his hands. The man hummed, and Tony jerked again, riding this most novel of sensations going off in his brain like a minefield of explosions. The back of his mind registered the slide of one of Steve’s fingers into him, stroking unexplored territory in a careful manner, and he very slightly registered that while it did feel weird, it also felt kind of good. Like a piece of him had been missing and Steve was promising to fill that space. The larger part of him had sole focus on his dick and the way Steve’s mouth and tongue were working it. The way teeth would briefly and just barely scrape the underside in overwhelming tugs and pushes of pleasure.

This wasn’t going to last long at all if Steve kept this up.

“I can’t,” Tony heaved out. “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t!” He reached a hand down to tug lightly at blond strands to further convey the message his words couldn’t quite give, and Steve popped off, licking the underside one last time right as he worked in a second finger.

This stretch provided edges of a burn, and Tony let out a ragged breath.

“That’s it,” Steve pacified, petting Tony’s chest. And Tony could do nothing now but focus on the feeling of Steve’s fingers inside him. There was something to it. This felt singular. Intimate. It made Tony feel whole, and introduced the idea that it was Steve, specifically, who made him whole. This wasn’t just about sex and pleasure. This was about them and who they were and who they were about to be. Whatever happened next was going to shape them as individuals and as a couple.

His thoughts were interrupted as Steve’s fingers bent inside him and brushed against something that sent a flare to his brain. It took Tony a while to remember how to breathe while Steve continued to get that spot every few strokes, adding a third finger once he’d hit it again. They were walking a thin line, here, between searing pleasure and aching pain, but it was a surprisingly good combination that had Tony harder than he ever thought he’d be.

“Steve,” he finally ground out, letting go of the sheets.

“Okay, alright,” Steve agreed, sounding almost as breathless as Tony when he gave the younger man’s inner thigh a quick kiss. And then Steve’s hands were gone, and Tony felt alarmingly empty and open. He felt exposed.

Tony heard the wrapper being torn open and gathered enough strength to come up and watch Steve roll on the condom, a burst of arousal jumping forward, and finally, Steve was back. There was a moment where the older man held himself above Tony, looking passed his eyes and into his soul, and Tony felt raw.

Far more gently than he had thought he could be in a pregnant moment such as this, Tony reached up to caress Steve’s cheek in his palm. Running his hand to the back of Steve’s neck, he played with the hairs there before pulling the man down and pressing a kiss to pliant lips. There was no urgency here. No real anticipation or need. It was gentle and slow and comforting.

The entire universe seemed to snap into place like a rubber band. Everything had been leading up to this. Somehow, this was Tony’s place. Here, with Steve and in his arms.

Steve guided himself towards Tony’s entrance, and without breaking the kiss, he gently pushed in. Passing the first ring of muscle was the hardest part, and Tony did pull back, trying to take in a deep breath before allowing Steve to come back and kiss apologies into his mouth. Tony held onto it, allowing the slide of tongue and lip to ground him as Steve pushed the rest of the way.

Once Steve bottomed out, Tony felt taut, all his muscles clenched in a tight ball. If the thought Steve’s fingers were something, it was nothing compared to the man actually being inside him, hips pressing firmly against the soft flesh of his ass. This was something completely different. It was as if Steve were everywhere, pressing himself into Tony’s very soul. Time had stopped, everything on pause while Tony processed this moment. It was all so overwhelming, and Steve waited in his bubble with him; waited for Tony to adjust, for Tony to be ready.

Releasing a stuttered breath, Tony wrapped his legs forcefully around Steve’s waist, pulling him farther in and making them both gasp. “Move,” Tony rasped. “I’m good. I’m okay. Move.”

Steve looked at him, gaze searching, but gave a slow nod and an even slower roll of his hips that had them both panting. Taking Tony’s slightly deflated cock in his hand, Steve gave it a short tug, thumb circling the head in a way that had Tony wheezing, inching his hips to move in halting rhythm with Steve’s. After Tony began moaning in pleasure, Steve let go, smoothing the hand across Tony’s pelvis and hip, massaging the side of his thigh until it met with the back of his knee. Feeling the slight push, Tony shifted his weight to his right, setting his foot onto the mat, and Steve looped his arm around the leg, sitting up and folding Tony’s leg over his shoulder.

That’s what had Tony whiting out.

The minute change in angle had Steve rubbing that spot inside him with every sinuous thrust, dragging himself firmly over it every time.

Tony uttered in a cut off breath, a short, “Steve!” leaving his lips on the exhale.

This… wasn’t going to last.

Steve enveloped him, cocooning Tony in his warmth, his own hips speeding up. Tony attempted to aid in their race to the finish line, but with only one leg and the pleasure building up like a typhoon beneath the surface of his ever tightening abdomen, he wasn’t much use. If he’d have known it was going to be like this, he would’ve asked Steve to fuck him the night they got together. The fact that they would have been doing this the whole time, making Tony feel like this the whole time, seemed like such a paltry waste.

“Please,” Tony begged, knowing he was nearing the end but needing it to come anyway.

At his word, Steve bent down, folding Tony more than he thought capable, and brought their mouths together in the messiest, most memorable kiss of them all. The trail of coarse hair leading down Steve’s lower belly brushed against the underside of Tony’s dick, providing the last straw to this camel’s back.

Hands coming up to cup Steve’s cheeks, Tony pulled him even closer as he came, leaving any noises he made in Steve’s mouth for Steve to take with him until he chose to let them go. Steve pulled away, taking leverage to chase his own orgasm, and Tony watch with rapt attention as Steve clenched in on himself, gasping out an aborted shout as he reached his climax.

It was stunning.

Tony had never wanted to move less in his life. He was utterly exhausted, feeling his muscles give way as he sunk languidly into the foam beneath him. The two stayed there, heaving breaths slowing down.

Eventually, Steve slid Tony’s leg from his shoulder and pulled out, making Tony flinch. “Sorry,” he whispered, leaning forward to peck Tony’s lips and then getting up. “I’ll be right back.

Tony let him go, closing his eyes and running his fingertips over his lips dazedly. His mind was muted, like his thoughts were under the shallows of a tide pool. Not quite out of reach, but far enough under that he didn’t want to do anything more than observe them at a distance.

It was the touch of a cool, wet cloth to his stomach that had his focus sharpening. He watched contentedly as Steve cleaned them up, tossed the towel to the side, and crawled back into the countertop with him. Tony shivered, not having noticed the cold until the warmth of Steve’s body surrounded him again, and he heard Steve chuckle low in his hear as he scooted onto his side so Steve could spoon up behind him.

Producing a blanket from what must’ve been thin air, because Steve was magical like that, Steve threw it over them and tugged Tony closer to his chest. Tony hummed, feeling the vibrations in his skull, and tugged a pillow over Steve’s bicep to lay his head on. Steve’s fingers absentmindedly played with Tony’s own, and Tony watched through slitted eyelids.

“Are you feeling alright?” Steve whispered to him, breaking the silence. Tony hummed, squeezing Steve’s fingers in confirmation before letting his hand go back to limply hanging over the edge of the countertop. “I didn’t hurt you, did I? You- it was good for you, too, right?”

Pulling his arm back, Tony lifted himself up onto his other side and curled comfortably into Steve’s chest. “It was… yeah,” he sighed, eyes still working their way to closed. “It was wonderful.”

He felt Steve nose the top of his head, possibly kissing him and lingering. The hand laying over the edge joined its counterpart to wrap Tony into a tight hug that had him suspiring happily and snuggling even farther into Steve’s chest.

“Good,” Steve said, and there was something odd in his voice that had Tony perking up. “That’s good, ‘cause, well, I, uh, I wanted to ask you something.”

Blinking his eyes open, Tony pulled away to stare up at Steve, feeling his heartbeat pick up. “What? What is it? Is something wrong?”

“No!” Steve insisted. “No, It’s… well…” and Tony watched as Steve rolled over, digging in the pile of pillows bunched at the window before tugging out a ring. A cheap, twenty-five cent, red plastic ring with the Captain America shield on top like a faux diamond. “I wanted to ask you to, um, if you wanted, to go steady with me. I know this isn’t the forties, so I know this may not be a thing, but I-I wanted to ask anyway because I want to be your fella and for you to be mine. And I get… I get that things are hard right now for-for being in an open relationship with another man, but you-we won’t have to be public about it. Not until you’re ready.”

Tony stared at the ring in front of him, and his stomach clenched into knots. He almost couldn’t breathe, and if he were alone, he just might succumb to the oncoming panic attack threatening to take over.

“Steve…” he breathed, eyes wide and on that goddamn ring. “Steve, you’re going back in time. You- I built a time machine so you could go back home. You want to go home.”

“I am home,” Steve told him, lifting Tony’s chin so that Tony couldn’t look away from those eyes. “With you, I finally feel like I have a home. I don’t… want you to have done all that hard work for nothing, but I want to stay, Tony. Here. With you. When I first came here, I thought I wasn’t going to have a choice. That I was going to be stuck here, and you gave me a choice. Gave me the option to go. Or to stay. And I don’t think either of us expected this, so, for a while, I didn’t even see staying as an option. Until you kissed me, and I remembered I had the choice to stay. If you’ll have me, I’d like to choose that option.”

“The space time continuum…” Tony tried to argue, the feeling of wanting to throw up growing in the back of his throat. Because never had he wanted to say yes so badly. Never had he wanted to accept anything or anyone more wholeheartedly than he did right now. Steve was asking to stay. Steve was asking to stay with him. And Tony wanted to say, “Screw the whole fucking world and stay with me. Fuck everyone and everything else. Stay here. With me.” He could say yes and destroy the time machine. He could keep Steve here and save him from the trenches. From the deaths. From his death.

And that’s when Tony let himself realize and accept that niggling feeling tightening his chest.

He was in love with Steve.

“We’ll be fine,” Steve finished for him. “For all we know, I could have always meant to end up here.”

As Tony looked into Steve’s hopeful face, he realized that he didn’t have the strength to say no. To tell Steve what he needed to hear. Tell Steve who he really was. So Tony did what he always did. Something completely and utterly stupid.

Pulling himself up so their faces were right in front of each other, Tony wrapped his arms around Steve’s neck and mashed their lips together. “Yes,” he breathed into Steve. Because the answer would always be yes. There had never been any other answer, and Steve needed to know that.

Steve was going to go home in the morning, and he needed to know that Tony would have always said yes.

_____________________________

Notes:

And there is it, folks! We’re wrapping up and getting to the end, so I hope you’ve all enjoyed the ride, and I want to thank everyone so much for all the comments and kudos. I love seeing all of your thoughts and opinions, and I truly appreciate everyone taking the time to leave a review, drop a kudos, or just read this in general.

07 Sunday 2019 will be the last chapter of Shattered Watch, so I hope everyone is as excited as I am for it. Feel free to check out my Tumblr (https://www.tumblr.com/blog/alexrogersstark) any time for any updates on the story, previews for the final chapter, or updates on my writing in general because I like to think I have some exciting things coming your way.

Thank you all so much for reading, and I’ll see everyone on the seventh!!! :)