(no subject)
home after 12 hours of work, at half-ten. the cat meows and bumps her head into my legs. i feed her, then find that she has pooped inside of the tent sometime in the past few days. i try not to be angry, try not to vomit as i clean up the loose stool with a paper towel.
on the ride home i pretended i was talking on my cellphone. not to anyone in particular, just myself. i can't get consistent results and it feels like everything that i touch turns to absolute crap. i'd rather bury myself in literature on liquid crystals, which will probably not even end up being my OP or useful to me ever. i don't seem to care right now that it is a waste of my time -- it feels like productivity, though i have absolutely nothing to show for it.
at this point moving to the new building does not seem worth it. it is not better or worse, just different. i don't mind being crowded into the office with 8 other students. i like not having to eat right next to chemicals. i don't want to have to bring my computer in every day, but i suppose that with my internet social life being dead in the water (for quite some time now, i have to admit, but not with any insurgence in a REAL social life, unfortunately) it's not as much of a distraction as it was.
trying my hardest to live in the moment and nyter sola.
on the ride home i pretended i was talking on my cellphone. not to anyone in particular, just myself. i can't get consistent results and it feels like everything that i touch turns to absolute crap. i'd rather bury myself in literature on liquid crystals, which will probably not even end up being my OP or useful to me ever. i don't seem to care right now that it is a waste of my time -- it feels like productivity, though i have absolutely nothing to show for it.
at this point moving to the new building does not seem worth it. it is not better or worse, just different. i don't mind being crowded into the office with 8 other students. i like not having to eat right next to chemicals. i don't want to have to bring my computer in every day, but i suppose that with my internet social life being dead in the water (for quite some time now, i have to admit, but not with any insurgence in a REAL social life, unfortunately) it's not as much of a distraction as it was.
trying my hardest to live in the moment and nyter sola.