: curls into standard contemplative ball state :
Reality is general isn't what it is cooked up to be. Yes life is supposed to be protrayed as a grand adventure but in the end, you have to realize there is toil and troubling bubbling about in this potion of your own making. Chaos just sits there letting you add more and more ingredients until finally it goes POP! and very little remains as you know it while the rest creates chain reactions with others cauldron lives around you. Goes on and on again until another's goes off and repeats the same endearing cycle again.
As I sit here... I realize.. its been 3 days since Shelby said she would be leaving with or without Mike. I wonder why she hasn't called my work and ask to talk to me or pop back on here and say 'hey i'm actually leaving' but in reality.. I don't think she left. She's confortable, she's secure, she's safe even though she admits its a slight hell that she is going through when she is having to follow privacy rules and not getting her input in.
: yawns : I got to another court appointment tommorrow, I pray things all go well. Even if I have to sit the tickets out I hope I don't have to do more than 48 hours. Any more than that I go stir crazy.
I have faith that things will end up right but... still. I know that I am a roamer, a wanderer... am I meant to even think of settling down or contemplating staying in one place longer than I want. I feel the yearn to move coming over me.. I want to go places, I want to explore, I want to live in different cultures, but why, do I feel the niggling feeling that without the proper base... it won't take me anywhere. I am going to go to college for journalism which will allow me to go places, learn things, Write for a living. : stretches : I also want to be a shopkeeper, one that is in a slight import business going to foreign countries picking up odd products to bring back for sale. I want, I want, I want... but in reality.. what I talked about with Jon is slowly coming to me more and more. I got two of my wishes, two of my goals, now I am wanting to go for more.
: yawns :
As I sit here... I realize.. its been 3 days since Shelby said she would be leaving with or without Mike. I wonder why she hasn't called my work and ask to talk to me or pop back on here and say 'hey i'm actually leaving' but in reality.. I don't think she left. She's confortable, she's secure, she's safe even though she admits its a slight hell that she is going through when she is having to follow privacy rules and not getting her input in.
: yawns : I got to another court appointment tommorrow, I pray things all go well. Even if I have to sit the tickets out I hope I don't have to do more than 48 hours. Any more than that I go stir crazy.
I have faith that things will end up right but... still. I know that I am a roamer, a wanderer... am I meant to even think of settling down or contemplating staying in one place longer than I want. I feel the yearn to move coming over me.. I want to go places, I want to explore, I want to live in different cultures, but why, do I feel the niggling feeling that without the proper base... it won't take me anywhere. I am going to go to college for journalism which will allow me to go places, learn things, Write for a living. : stretches : I also want to be a shopkeeper, one that is in a slight import business going to foreign countries picking up odd products to bring back for sale. I want, I want, I want... but in reality.. what I talked about with Jon is slowly coming to me more and more. I got two of my wishes, two of my goals, now I am wanting to go for more.
: yawns :