(no subject)
Today, alright, yesterday, I began saying goodbye. Really though, anyone I would say "goodbye" to right now is someone I don't ever want to say goodbye to.
Carson took me to lunch. It ended up being very . . . sweet. Is that OK to say? Everything with Carson has always been complex and hard and difficult and confusing. Today was very real, like two normal people who respect one another having lunch and having an effortless good time.
With him, I feel that we are both so involved in our own lives and with ourselves that things have never worked, even when we tried as much as we could. Two huge people with two huge egos.
I think that if we were dropped off on a deserted island, even if it were Miami Beach, we'd finally meet on even soil and things would be as they should.
I really love Carson for who he, is deep inside, beyond all of the other stuff and today I really felt, from everything he said that he feels the same for me. It was a bittersweet lunch.
Carson took me to lunch. It ended up being very . . . sweet. Is that OK to say? Everything with Carson has always been complex and hard and difficult and confusing. Today was very real, like two normal people who respect one another having lunch and having an effortless good time.
With him, I feel that we are both so involved in our own lives and with ourselves that things have never worked, even when we tried as much as we could. Two huge people with two huge egos.
I think that if we were dropped off on a deserted island, even if it were Miami Beach, we'd finally meet on even soil and things would be as they should.
I really love Carson for who he, is deep inside, beyond all of the other stuff and today I really felt, from everything he said that he feels the same for me. It was a bittersweet lunch.