Breaking Rape Laws and Getting Away with it Since 1999
I think we're aware that I was pretty well drunk last night, hmmm? This is a good thing. I'd begun to think that I'd crossed some invisible threshold and, as God is my witness, I would never go drunkenly through the streets of York again.
No fear there, then.
However, I was also pretty - well, pretty fucking lucky really. Most girls my age know the how-tos of Hi, I'd Like To Not Be Raped Please. They're pretty simple:
1. Don't go off on your own with men you don't know.
2. Don't walk down dark, deserted streets/towpaths.
3. Don't allow men you don't know to buy you drinks.
4. Don't leave your drinks unattended for any extended period of time.
5. Stick with your friends.
6. Make sure someone knows where you are.
...I broke every single one of those rules last night. We've been laughing about it today, me and the housemates, but in a kind of oh-my-god-I-could-actually-have-disappeared-and-never-been-found kind of way. It's actually quite scary how reckless significant amounts of alcohol can make you. Usually, I am the epitome of date-rape-related caution. Thumbs over bottles, keeping hold of your drink etc etc. I'm very conscious that some men are shits and I really am basically incapable of defending myself when I can keep myself upright, never mind when I'm swaying incontrollably and 'focussing' is a forgotten skill.
Discussing the events of last night this morning, we have come to the conclusion that we were amazingly stupid last night. Jess and Jo had apparently attempted to concoct a story to tell the police when I didn't get home which didn't involve them having to sit there and say, "Yes, we met this bloke in a bar, and left our friend with him. On her own. Drunk as a skunk."
I'd left my mobile at home. I was fucked of my face. I went wandering up into the medieval maze near the Minster to show Mark what shops he had to go to. The deserted medieval maze. I allowed Mark to buy all my drinks. He even got the barstaff to make me a cocktail he had 'personally invented' for me. It was a bit like a Blue Lagoon but the point is Christ, he might as well have said, "Yeah, I dropped a bit of Rohypnol in there - I think it gives it a little something extra, don't you?" I went and sat down by the river with him for about an hour at 3 in the morning. The deserted pitch-black river. Rape aside, he could have just pitched me in! I got a taxi home with him. I nearly went up to his hotel room.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? Jesus God I was like a lamb to the slaughter! I mean, I thought he was a nice guy, and obviously he was cos unless he's some kind of psychotic hypnotist I'm pretty certain he did nothing to me. But really, that's kind of scary, yeah?
On the plus side, I AM THE LUCKIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD I AM PRACTICALLY INVINCABLE BRING ON MY LAST EXAM I AM ON A ROLL.
PS For future potential emergencies where I might disappear having gone out drinking with a random Irish bloke who wasn't nice and gentlemanly, contact magic_at_mungos or mrs_knightley cos they can get in touch with me in RL. You know. Just in case.
No fear there, then.
However, I was also pretty - well, pretty fucking lucky really. Most girls my age know the how-tos of Hi, I'd Like To Not Be Raped Please. They're pretty simple:
1. Don't go off on your own with men you don't know.
2. Don't walk down dark, deserted streets/towpaths.
3. Don't allow men you don't know to buy you drinks.
4. Don't leave your drinks unattended for any extended period of time.
5. Stick with your friends.
6. Make sure someone knows where you are.
...I broke every single one of those rules last night. We've been laughing about it today, me and the housemates, but in a kind of oh-my-god-I-could-actually-have-disappeared-and-never-been-found kind of way. It's actually quite scary how reckless significant amounts of alcohol can make you. Usually, I am the epitome of date-rape-related caution. Thumbs over bottles, keeping hold of your drink etc etc. I'm very conscious that some men are shits and I really am basically incapable of defending myself when I can keep myself upright, never mind when I'm swaying incontrollably and 'focussing' is a forgotten skill.
Discussing the events of last night this morning, we have come to the conclusion that we were amazingly stupid last night. Jess and Jo had apparently attempted to concoct a story to tell the police when I didn't get home which didn't involve them having to sit there and say, "Yes, we met this bloke in a bar, and left our friend with him. On her own. Drunk as a skunk."
I'd left my mobile at home. I was fucked of my face. I went wandering up into the medieval maze near the Minster to show Mark what shops he had to go to. The deserted medieval maze. I allowed Mark to buy all my drinks. He even got the barstaff to make me a cocktail he had 'personally invented' for me. It was a bit like a Blue Lagoon but the point is Christ, he might as well have said, "Yeah, I dropped a bit of Rohypnol in there - I think it gives it a little something extra, don't you?" I went and sat down by the river with him for about an hour at 3 in the morning. The deserted pitch-black river. Rape aside, he could have just pitched me in! I got a taxi home with him. I nearly went up to his hotel room.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? Jesus God I was like a lamb to the slaughter! I mean, I thought he was a nice guy, and obviously he was cos unless he's some kind of psychotic hypnotist I'm pretty certain he did nothing to me. But really, that's kind of scary, yeah?
On the plus side, I AM THE LUCKIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD I AM PRACTICALLY INVINCABLE BRING ON MY LAST EXAM I AM ON A ROLL.
PS For future potential emergencies where I might disappear having gone out drinking with a random Irish bloke who wasn't nice and gentlemanly, contact magic_at_mungos or mrs_knightley cos they can get in touch with me in RL. You know. Just in case.