Fic: Demon's Design
Title: Demon's Design.
Author: Alexi95.
Characters: Meg and Castiel.
Pairings: Cas/Meg if you really squint.
Rating: PG.
Timeline: Post Dark Side of the Moon but Pre 99 Problems.
Word count: 863.
Summary: 'She wasn't quite sure how, but she was going to find purpose again, even if it killed her.' Complete.
Warnings: None that I can think of.
Spoilers: Spoilers for season five and more importantly Dark Side of the Moon.
Disclaimer: Castiel and Meg belong to the Supernatural team.
Author's note: Really inspired by Cinematic Orchestra's piece of music, To Build a home and my craving to write some angsty type fic. I also wanted to do a sort of character study on Meg, and figure out in my head why we never saw her after Abandon All Hope when she was like Lucifer's right hand demon. And that idea developed in to me thinking about Meg's human life, what made her become a demon. I figured that demons can remember their human lives but just can't remember what it was like to be human. So this fic is really just me trying to get everything straight in my head. I also through Cas and his depression in there just because I ship Meg/Cas and I also thought that Cas wouldn't of really thought to go on a bender all by himself. So anyway I hope you enjoy and leave me a comment telling me what you thought.
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'Out in the garden where we planted the seeds, there is a tree as old as me...'- To Build a Home, Cinematic Orchestra.
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Meg wasn't quite sure why she was getting all nostalgic about her human life. She'd never paid much thought to it ever since she'd became a demon, until now that is. It wasn't really like she wanted to go back to it, rather that she couldn't get her mind off it. She didn't even know what brought about these thoughts, alls she did know was that she couldn't get rid of them. So that was how she found herself drinking away her sorrows so to speak with the help of alcohol (in a closed bar she'd broken in to, surprised to find someone else already there) and in the company of a damaged angel who would rather sooner kill her than listen to her. Except he was listening (admittedly rather uninterested), tracing the rim of his own untouched glass as she went on about pointless, meaningless things that he probably didn't even understand. Soon she ran out of things to say, abruptly falling in to silence as she took a long swig from the bottle (her glass long since abandoned). She let out a long sigh as she felt the alcohol pulsing through her body, clouding up her mind. Clarence shot her a look out of the corner of his eye, probably only just realizing she'd stopped talking. She stared at him for a moment before opening her mouth and blurting out the stupidest thing, the one thing she was positive she should not of been telling an angel.
"I had a baby once." He turned his head towards her and actually looked at her properly for the first time that night, he looked at her with an air of curiosity. "When I was human." She elaborated. And then it was as if she couldn't stop. "He was all dimples and blue eyes with curly black hair. I think I loved him." She breathed out, surprising herself a little, she must of loved him mustn't she? Humans felt that sort of thing. "He was only two when they took him, killed him. Humans." She continued, taking another swig of her drink and avoiding his stare. "That was when Azazel found me. He offered me a way out, a cure for the pain. And I took it." She watched as he frowned slightly and finally took a sip of the drink she'd poured for him a whole hour ago.
"Demons can't remember what it's like to be human." He stated obviously, his voice gruff.
"Yeah, I'm not saying I can. Hell I can't even recall my sons name, can't recall my own. I can remember the emotions I felt as a human, I can name them but I can't feel them anymore. You understand?" She asked, trying to explain something she wasn't quite sure on herself. Something she wasn't quite sure she was even trying to explain to him.
"I think so." He answered, jolting her out of her own thoughts.
"I can look back on my human life as a passive viewer. I remember it but it dosn't effect me..." She trailed off, only speaking aloud now to try and get her own thoughts straight. It hadn't occurred to her just how lonely being a demon had made her. It was something she would never admit to another of course, but that didn't make it not true. She had no ties to that long ago human life anymore, Azazel was dead and Lucifer... "Was it true what you told me back in Carthage? About what Crowley said about Lucifer?" She asked abruptly swinging around on the bar stool so her whole body was facing him as she stared him directly in the eye, challenging him to lie to her.
"It was true." He said after a moment. She laughed without humor then, gritting her teeth as it sunk in that there really was no purpose for her. Not really. And even demons need purpose. "If it's any condolence my farther dosn't care either." Clarence said so quietly that she almost missed it. She watched as he turned away from her to stare in to the bottom of his glass and realized that he was lonely too, just like her. Maybe she wasn't so alone after all, and with that thought she smiled before jumping up off the stool.
"Yeah alcohol really helps with that. I suggest you drink lots of it and maybe come find me afterwards. There's another thing that I'd be happy to teach you that helps too." She suggested, slipping back in to her cool and collected persona and shrugging off all lingering thoughts of the little boy she once held in her arms. "There's a liquor store just down the street. Probably has better stuff than in this place." She added as an afterthought, gesturing at the bar before flashing him a flirty convincing smile. She then made her way out of the empty bar, taking some small pleasure in the fact he was watching her leave. She wasn't quite sure how, but she was going to find purpose again, even if it killed her.
Author: Alexi95.
Characters: Meg and Castiel.
Pairings: Cas/Meg if you really squint.
Rating: PG.
Timeline: Post Dark Side of the Moon but Pre 99 Problems.
Word count: 863.
Summary: 'She wasn't quite sure how, but she was going to find purpose again, even if it killed her.' Complete.
Warnings: None that I can think of.
Spoilers: Spoilers for season five and more importantly Dark Side of the Moon.
Disclaimer: Castiel and Meg belong to the Supernatural team.
Author's note: Really inspired by Cinematic Orchestra's piece of music, To Build a home and my craving to write some angsty type fic. I also wanted to do a sort of character study on Meg, and figure out in my head why we never saw her after Abandon All Hope when she was like Lucifer's right hand demon. And that idea developed in to me thinking about Meg's human life, what made her become a demon. I figured that demons can remember their human lives but just can't remember what it was like to be human. So this fic is really just me trying to get everything straight in my head. I also through Cas and his depression in there just because I ship Meg/Cas and I also thought that Cas wouldn't of really thought to go on a bender all by himself. So anyway I hope you enjoy and leave me a comment telling me what you thought.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'Out in the garden where we planted the seeds, there is a tree as old as me...'- To Build a Home, Cinematic Orchestra.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meg wasn't quite sure why she was getting all nostalgic about her human life. She'd never paid much thought to it ever since she'd became a demon, until now that is. It wasn't really like she wanted to go back to it, rather that she couldn't get her mind off it. She didn't even know what brought about these thoughts, alls she did know was that she couldn't get rid of them. So that was how she found herself drinking away her sorrows so to speak with the help of alcohol (in a closed bar she'd broken in to, surprised to find someone else already there) and in the company of a damaged angel who would rather sooner kill her than listen to her. Except he was listening (admittedly rather uninterested), tracing the rim of his own untouched glass as she went on about pointless, meaningless things that he probably didn't even understand. Soon she ran out of things to say, abruptly falling in to silence as she took a long swig from the bottle (her glass long since abandoned). She let out a long sigh as she felt the alcohol pulsing through her body, clouding up her mind. Clarence shot her a look out of the corner of his eye, probably only just realizing she'd stopped talking. She stared at him for a moment before opening her mouth and blurting out the stupidest thing, the one thing she was positive she should not of been telling an angel.
"I had a baby once." He turned his head towards her and actually looked at her properly for the first time that night, he looked at her with an air of curiosity. "When I was human." She elaborated. And then it was as if she couldn't stop. "He was all dimples and blue eyes with curly black hair. I think I loved him." She breathed out, surprising herself a little, she must of loved him mustn't she? Humans felt that sort of thing. "He was only two when they took him, killed him. Humans." She continued, taking another swig of her drink and avoiding his stare. "That was when Azazel found me. He offered me a way out, a cure for the pain. And I took it." She watched as he frowned slightly and finally took a sip of the drink she'd poured for him a whole hour ago.
"Demons can't remember what it's like to be human." He stated obviously, his voice gruff.
"Yeah, I'm not saying I can. Hell I can't even recall my sons name, can't recall my own. I can remember the emotions I felt as a human, I can name them but I can't feel them anymore. You understand?" She asked, trying to explain something she wasn't quite sure on herself. Something she wasn't quite sure she was even trying to explain to him.
"I think so." He answered, jolting her out of her own thoughts.
"I can look back on my human life as a passive viewer. I remember it but it dosn't effect me..." She trailed off, only speaking aloud now to try and get her own thoughts straight. It hadn't occurred to her just how lonely being a demon had made her. It was something she would never admit to another of course, but that didn't make it not true. She had no ties to that long ago human life anymore, Azazel was dead and Lucifer... "Was it true what you told me back in Carthage? About what Crowley said about Lucifer?" She asked abruptly swinging around on the bar stool so her whole body was facing him as she stared him directly in the eye, challenging him to lie to her.
"It was true." He said after a moment. She laughed without humor then, gritting her teeth as it sunk in that there really was no purpose for her. Not really. And even demons need purpose. "If it's any condolence my farther dosn't care either." Clarence said so quietly that she almost missed it. She watched as he turned away from her to stare in to the bottom of his glass and realized that he was lonely too, just like her. Maybe she wasn't so alone after all, and with that thought she smiled before jumping up off the stool.
"Yeah alcohol really helps with that. I suggest you drink lots of it and maybe come find me afterwards. There's another thing that I'd be happy to teach you that helps too." She suggested, slipping back in to her cool and collected persona and shrugging off all lingering thoughts of the little boy she once held in her arms. "There's a liquor store just down the street. Probably has better stuff than in this place." She added as an afterthought, gesturing at the bar before flashing him a flirty convincing smile. She then made her way out of the empty bar, taking some small pleasure in the fact he was watching her leave. She wasn't quite sure how, but she was going to find purpose again, even if it killed her.