Chapter Three - On The Waterfront
Fatima was grinding some herbs with her mortar-and-pestle when Eirik knocked on her door. She practiced her trade in a square thatch-roofed shack some distance from the built-up centre of town, with an orchard on her side of the street and a cemetery on the other. Inside were a great many stacked barrels, a table, and a short four-posted bed. She sat on a stool by the table holding strange glass instruments, half-rolled scrolls, and pots full of samples of various obscure herbs. Firelight played over her long, fine-boned face and shadows pooled around her elegantly curved lips. She was wearing a long yellow kirtle and hugging her red shawl around herself, for her bony limbs were cold despite the summer sun. She had never got used to the climate here.
Eirik entered after knocking, as was his custom, but she did not rise to greet him. They’d known each other for long enough that pleasantries had been forgotten. Perhaps she had even known Eirik for too long. She never liked the way his eyes lingered on her when they spoke.
“What do you want, you old pirate?” Fatima said.
Eirik winced, which amused her no end. “There’s someone you should meet. I have a boy willing to be your apprentice, if you’ll have him. I think he’s lettered and he grew up in the country, so he might know some things that are useful to you. He’s a noble of some sort, but a runaway with no kin that he’ll mention. You’d better watch his temper. He went for me when he thought I was a pimp.”
“You know I’d prefer a girl.” Fatima was not enthused by his description.
“I know it, but I can’t have girls lodging with me. You know that.” They both knew why.
“Well, I’ll meet him. But no promises. And you’d better take the heat if someone comes back to town looking for him.” Some of Eirik’s boys had lost their families during blood-feuds between clans. He usually tried to negotiate truces for them but some people wouldn’t take monetary settlement. It was nidh, a killing-shame, to kill a child; honour demanded he be allowed to grow up first.
Eirik was a little put out that it hadn’t occurred to him that the boy’s family might be in feud. “I’m sure he would have told me if it was anything like that.” Fatima couldn’t tell if he believed that or not.
“He likes you enough?” Fatima was sceptical.
“No, he doesn’t like me. He’s just about convinced that I’m not a pimp. If his family had been butchered he would be grateful for my help, but I think he hates himself for taking it. I think he chose to run away.” Fatima could tell Eirik was getting tired of the discussion but that was no reason not to press him. He owed her enough.
“He sounds headstrong.”
“He is.”
“What will I do with a headstrong boy?”
“You need an apprentice. Your knowledge must be passed on, your Murian lore exists nowhere else in this city.”
“You give me no reason it should be this boy. I have some years left, if this cold doesn’t finish me.”
“Wait until you meet him. There’s something about him, I tell you.” Eirik moved closer to her and poked a log further into the fire with his foot.
“Thank you. Taken a shine to this lad, have you?” Fatima chuckled.
“What if I have?”
“Nothing. He obviously made quite an impression on you. We’ll see if he can be any use to me but I don’t promise to make him a doctor, even if I make him an apprentice. I may only want him to thread needles and grind plants, a pair of young eyes and hands helps with those things. But we will see about the boy soon.”
“I can bring him over now, if you’re ready. He should have finished eating and washing.”
“If you must. I have some herbs to gather before the light fails. If he isn’t completely useless he should be able to manage that.”
Fatima turned back to her mortar and Eirik left. She passed a few minutes with only the noise of the pestle grating against it and the crackling of the fire keeping her company. That was how she liked it best, however. She hoped that the apprentice boy wouldn’t be overly talkative. Most people were in her opinion. However Eirik had spoken truly that she had a duty to pass on her lore. She would give the boy a chance.
The door opened again and Eirik led the boy in. She took in his sandy hair, lanky frame, and haughty bearing. He wore a monk’s robe of unbleached wool and it was so ragged it was practically falling off his body. He made a sharp contrast with Eirik in his green-dyed cloak and good leather boots. Eirik always had a well-fed and comfortable look, though in her mind he had not earned it.
“I have some questions for you, boy.” Fatima didn’t like the look of him, though she could not say why.
“His name is Kari.” Eirik said.
“Let him speak for himself.” Fatima said sharply. “Which monastery did you study at?”
“Thrireik monastery.” Kari said.
“Did you complete your studies?”
“I did not.”
“Why not?”
“The monks seemed more concerned with praising the Gods and keeping the floors clean than teaching me anything of use. A life there seemed vain and pointless.”
“Too smart to clean floors, are you?” Fatima was not impressed.
“Yes.” Kari spoke flatly, without conscious arrogance.
“Why don’t you praise the Gods?” Eirik shifted uncomfortably as Fatima spoke.
“The Gods are distant, save for Vitras.” The boy still spoke flatly. Fatima could see something boiling below the surface and resolved to tease it out.
“Do you deny their power, their benevolence? They gave life to all mankind, after all.”
“What is life?” Kari’s anger surfaced. His grey eyes flashed. “Life is fleeting and fickle. Life is confusion and fear. Life is pain and loss. The sun shines on man and he lies and thieves and murders and rapes while the Gods look on. They do not care, however many homilies you sing. We saw that earlier today at the river. And what is man, their creation? A most God-like being, given the gifts of reason and speech, of justice and compassion. And this divine creation never reasons but for his own benefit, never speaks but to justify his crimes, never demands justice but for his enemies, never shows compassion but to his own sorrows. He eats meat and fills latrines. He fucks whores and hates a bastard. He steals and hates a thief. He lies and hates an oathbreaker. He is girded with divine reason and displays an ignorance beyond and beneath that of animals. I judge the Gods from their creation.”
Eirik and Fatima were silent for a moment. The boy’s glare shifted from one of them to the other and back.
“Without the Gods we are nothing, boy. No life, no joy, no justice or reason.” Eirik said.
“A man is a nothing,” Kari replied through gritted teeth. “Life is a nothing. There is pain and then there is death. The Gods’ gift to us is pain. That is all.”
“Why do you speak of Vitras as being different?” Fatima said.
“Because death is a gift that goes to all men equally. And because he sees and knows a man’s true character. The just are taken into his shining hall,” Kari said, “and the unjust are left to wrestle with the Trolls for all eternity.” The ghost of a smile played on his lips.
Eirik spoke haltingly. “Kari, has it not occurred to you that a man’s character may change over time?”
“What do you mean?”
“Virtue is a path, not a state. Some men may fall from virtue and be judged for it. Others may rise to virtue, after having sinned. Life has value because all men have a path to walk to display their true character, even if you see no other value to it. It is my belief that one who once shunned the path of virtue may change their ways and overcome the evil inside them. That being so, it is not for us to rejoice when a fallen one goes to his end.”
“Do you truly think so?” Kari had simmered down a little.
“I do.”
“Can Vitras ever look kindly on one who has sinned?”
“There is more to virtue than the avoidance of sin, boy. It may be that if one follows the path of virtue and helps others to discover their true characters without being bowed down by the evils of the world, that Vitras will forgive one who has been tempted or misled. You said right that men walk in confusion and fear. It is my sorrow that so many never discover the right path and so must be judged as sinners. But there is good as well as evil in all men and with time and effort one who has fallen into sin may be redeemed. I must believe that if he truly forges a new character he will be judged kindly.”
“Why must you believe it?” Kari’s rage had passed and he seemed to be taking a real interest in Eirik for the first time.
“Because of my past.” Eirik said this shortly, not wanting to show his great shame in front of someone so intolerant as this boy.
“Tell him, Eirik.” Fatima said shortly.
“Very well. I was an orphan in this city, Kari. I grew up amongst pirates and pimps and they made me one of their own. I came up fast - I was strong and ruthless. I headed a crew and we ran a protection racket on some merchants, which eventually made me enough that I could get my own ship and go trading. But honest trade wasn’t all I did. I was a pirate, boy. Do you know what that means? I gave whole crews of men to Hafr and took the women and children I found as slaves. I raided steads and took silver and captives from the folk living honestly on the land. I dealt in flesh for years and sold hundreds into slavery. I went to the far places of the earth and took their people here for clients who had exotic tastes and one day in Kranata I bought Fatima. The slave markets there are huge and I picked her out of hundreds on show. Even then, I did not like such places. She was expensive but that day I did not think about money. I wanted her for other reasons. I took a… liking to her on the voyage and did not sell her when I came into port.” Eirik lowered his eyes, still ashamed. “I kept her below decks and would talk to her, though she never spoke back. I spoke to her because I thought she was mute, so that no one who could tell about them would see my doubts and weaknesses. Talking… helped. I did not know she understood. One day after a particularly rough fight in which some of my men were killed I told her I had severe misgivings about my lifestyle, that I wished to leave something other than fear and hatred behind.”
Kari and Fatima were watching. It wrenched Eirik to wring all of this out but he continued so the boy would see.
“Fatima spoke to me for the first time. She told me I was an evil man and would never be remembered well. I wanted, more than anything, to prove her wrong. Perhaps I was in love with her. I gave my money to set up a home for boys lost in the city - orphans like myself. I freed my slaves with gifts and let them go where they would. Some swore vengeance, as did many of my men. Some told me that I was failing in my duty as a captain, others swore about town that I had been enchanted by a Murian witch and that I was cursed. I was a hated man, and still a feared one.” Eirik paused.
“How did you come to be a priest of Vitras?” Kari said.
“I had always worshipped Vitras, even as a child. Then, to give death to my enemies was all that I thought of. I knew death was never distant, not in this city, though as you said the other gods can seem far away. I dreamed of the souls I would send to Vitras for judgement, never realising that I would be judged myself. But I tell you now that life is a gift, because Vitras gave me time - time to change my ways. It may be that in showing the path of virtue to others and in giving help to those who need it most I can atone for the horrors I have committed.”
“Priests are immune to feud.” Fatima added. “It is the way of this land. “Our way” as you say. By giving his life to Vitras Eirik bought time for himself.”
“Where is the justice in that? Criminals need to be punished.” Kari said coldly. “You gave no mercy to your victims, why should Vitras have mercy on you?”
“My hope is that Vitras can see that I was… misled… by my rage and by my fears. Only now have I mastered them and become the man I want to be. Before I thought only of giving death to others. Money and power were the tools I had to avenge myself on the world. I saw that there was more to life than vengeance, but I felt cursed to carry out my destiny. I saw where the path ended and I feared it. Only now have I made my peace with death. It is my hope that, if I am fit to meet Vitras and drink in his shining hall, I shall be allowed to do so. And if I am not, if my crimes were too great, at least I have given something back to a world that I have taken so much from.”
“You took everything from your victims. Why should Vitras have given you time?” Kari’s words were ice.
“All things go to Vitras in time. I have not stolen my life from him. I know I will go to him eventually; death cannot be cheated. It is my hope that he will see me as I am now, for only now have I found myself.”
“Eirik’s change has astonished me,” Fatima added. “I will never forgive him, but now I respect him.”
Kari said nothing for a moment but some of the ice came out of his glare. “You truly believe he has changed?” he asked Fatima.
“I do. That is why I stay here and serve as a doctor to his boys and the townsfolk,” Fatima said. “Not that my homeland has left me with any lingering fondness.”
“You must tell me of your homeland one day.” Kari said. “I have never met a Murian before.”
“I may do so. Eirik, you may leave us now.”
Eirik bowed slightly and left, visibly drained.
“Do you see these leaves?” Fatima took a sprig from the unopened one of her pots and held it up.
Kari reached out and took the sprig from her, sniffed it. “That’s vanmattas. It goes on bruises.”
"Go out and find me enough to fit in two hands."
Perhaps Fatima could use this boy after all.
Eirik entered after knocking, as was his custom, but she did not rise to greet him. They’d known each other for long enough that pleasantries had been forgotten. Perhaps she had even known Eirik for too long. She never liked the way his eyes lingered on her when they spoke.
“What do you want, you old pirate?” Fatima said.
Eirik winced, which amused her no end. “There’s someone you should meet. I have a boy willing to be your apprentice, if you’ll have him. I think he’s lettered and he grew up in the country, so he might know some things that are useful to you. He’s a noble of some sort, but a runaway with no kin that he’ll mention. You’d better watch his temper. He went for me when he thought I was a pimp.”
“You know I’d prefer a girl.” Fatima was not enthused by his description.
“I know it, but I can’t have girls lodging with me. You know that.” They both knew why.
“Well, I’ll meet him. But no promises. And you’d better take the heat if someone comes back to town looking for him.” Some of Eirik’s boys had lost their families during blood-feuds between clans. He usually tried to negotiate truces for them but some people wouldn’t take monetary settlement. It was nidh, a killing-shame, to kill a child; honour demanded he be allowed to grow up first.
Eirik was a little put out that it hadn’t occurred to him that the boy’s family might be in feud. “I’m sure he would have told me if it was anything like that.” Fatima couldn’t tell if he believed that or not.
“He likes you enough?” Fatima was sceptical.
“No, he doesn’t like me. He’s just about convinced that I’m not a pimp. If his family had been butchered he would be grateful for my help, but I think he hates himself for taking it. I think he chose to run away.” Fatima could tell Eirik was getting tired of the discussion but that was no reason not to press him. He owed her enough.
“He sounds headstrong.”
“He is.”
“What will I do with a headstrong boy?”
“You need an apprentice. Your knowledge must be passed on, your Murian lore exists nowhere else in this city.”
“You give me no reason it should be this boy. I have some years left, if this cold doesn’t finish me.”
“Wait until you meet him. There’s something about him, I tell you.” Eirik moved closer to her and poked a log further into the fire with his foot.
“Thank you. Taken a shine to this lad, have you?” Fatima chuckled.
“What if I have?”
“Nothing. He obviously made quite an impression on you. We’ll see if he can be any use to me but I don’t promise to make him a doctor, even if I make him an apprentice. I may only want him to thread needles and grind plants, a pair of young eyes and hands helps with those things. But we will see about the boy soon.”
“I can bring him over now, if you’re ready. He should have finished eating and washing.”
“If you must. I have some herbs to gather before the light fails. If he isn’t completely useless he should be able to manage that.”
Fatima turned back to her mortar and Eirik left. She passed a few minutes with only the noise of the pestle grating against it and the crackling of the fire keeping her company. That was how she liked it best, however. She hoped that the apprentice boy wouldn’t be overly talkative. Most people were in her opinion. However Eirik had spoken truly that she had a duty to pass on her lore. She would give the boy a chance.
The door opened again and Eirik led the boy in. She took in his sandy hair, lanky frame, and haughty bearing. He wore a monk’s robe of unbleached wool and it was so ragged it was practically falling off his body. He made a sharp contrast with Eirik in his green-dyed cloak and good leather boots. Eirik always had a well-fed and comfortable look, though in her mind he had not earned it.
“I have some questions for you, boy.” Fatima didn’t like the look of him, though she could not say why.
“His name is Kari.” Eirik said.
“Let him speak for himself.” Fatima said sharply. “Which monastery did you study at?”
“Thrireik monastery.” Kari said.
“Did you complete your studies?”
“I did not.”
“Why not?”
“The monks seemed more concerned with praising the Gods and keeping the floors clean than teaching me anything of use. A life there seemed vain and pointless.”
“Too smart to clean floors, are you?” Fatima was not impressed.
“Yes.” Kari spoke flatly, without conscious arrogance.
“Why don’t you praise the Gods?” Eirik shifted uncomfortably as Fatima spoke.
“The Gods are distant, save for Vitras.” The boy still spoke flatly. Fatima could see something boiling below the surface and resolved to tease it out.
“Do you deny their power, their benevolence? They gave life to all mankind, after all.”
“What is life?” Kari’s anger surfaced. His grey eyes flashed. “Life is fleeting and fickle. Life is confusion and fear. Life is pain and loss. The sun shines on man and he lies and thieves and murders and rapes while the Gods look on. They do not care, however many homilies you sing. We saw that earlier today at the river. And what is man, their creation? A most God-like being, given the gifts of reason and speech, of justice and compassion. And this divine creation never reasons but for his own benefit, never speaks but to justify his crimes, never demands justice but for his enemies, never shows compassion but to his own sorrows. He eats meat and fills latrines. He fucks whores and hates a bastard. He steals and hates a thief. He lies and hates an oathbreaker. He is girded with divine reason and displays an ignorance beyond and beneath that of animals. I judge the Gods from their creation.”
Eirik and Fatima were silent for a moment. The boy’s glare shifted from one of them to the other and back.
“Without the Gods we are nothing, boy. No life, no joy, no justice or reason.” Eirik said.
“A man is a nothing,” Kari replied through gritted teeth. “Life is a nothing. There is pain and then there is death. The Gods’ gift to us is pain. That is all.”
“Why do you speak of Vitras as being different?” Fatima said.
“Because death is a gift that goes to all men equally. And because he sees and knows a man’s true character. The just are taken into his shining hall,” Kari said, “and the unjust are left to wrestle with the Trolls for all eternity.” The ghost of a smile played on his lips.
Eirik spoke haltingly. “Kari, has it not occurred to you that a man’s character may change over time?”
“What do you mean?”
“Virtue is a path, not a state. Some men may fall from virtue and be judged for it. Others may rise to virtue, after having sinned. Life has value because all men have a path to walk to display their true character, even if you see no other value to it. It is my belief that one who once shunned the path of virtue may change their ways and overcome the evil inside them. That being so, it is not for us to rejoice when a fallen one goes to his end.”
“Do you truly think so?” Kari had simmered down a little.
“I do.”
“Can Vitras ever look kindly on one who has sinned?”
“There is more to virtue than the avoidance of sin, boy. It may be that if one follows the path of virtue and helps others to discover their true characters without being bowed down by the evils of the world, that Vitras will forgive one who has been tempted or misled. You said right that men walk in confusion and fear. It is my sorrow that so many never discover the right path and so must be judged as sinners. But there is good as well as evil in all men and with time and effort one who has fallen into sin may be redeemed. I must believe that if he truly forges a new character he will be judged kindly.”
“Why must you believe it?” Kari’s rage had passed and he seemed to be taking a real interest in Eirik for the first time.
“Because of my past.” Eirik said this shortly, not wanting to show his great shame in front of someone so intolerant as this boy.
“Tell him, Eirik.” Fatima said shortly.
“Very well. I was an orphan in this city, Kari. I grew up amongst pirates and pimps and they made me one of their own. I came up fast - I was strong and ruthless. I headed a crew and we ran a protection racket on some merchants, which eventually made me enough that I could get my own ship and go trading. But honest trade wasn’t all I did. I was a pirate, boy. Do you know what that means? I gave whole crews of men to Hafr and took the women and children I found as slaves. I raided steads and took silver and captives from the folk living honestly on the land. I dealt in flesh for years and sold hundreds into slavery. I went to the far places of the earth and took their people here for clients who had exotic tastes and one day in Kranata I bought Fatima. The slave markets there are huge and I picked her out of hundreds on show. Even then, I did not like such places. She was expensive but that day I did not think about money. I wanted her for other reasons. I took a… liking to her on the voyage and did not sell her when I came into port.” Eirik lowered his eyes, still ashamed. “I kept her below decks and would talk to her, though she never spoke back. I spoke to her because I thought she was mute, so that no one who could tell about them would see my doubts and weaknesses. Talking… helped. I did not know she understood. One day after a particularly rough fight in which some of my men were killed I told her I had severe misgivings about my lifestyle, that I wished to leave something other than fear and hatred behind.”
Kari and Fatima were watching. It wrenched Eirik to wring all of this out but he continued so the boy would see.
“Fatima spoke to me for the first time. She told me I was an evil man and would never be remembered well. I wanted, more than anything, to prove her wrong. Perhaps I was in love with her. I gave my money to set up a home for boys lost in the city - orphans like myself. I freed my slaves with gifts and let them go where they would. Some swore vengeance, as did many of my men. Some told me that I was failing in my duty as a captain, others swore about town that I had been enchanted by a Murian witch and that I was cursed. I was a hated man, and still a feared one.” Eirik paused.
“How did you come to be a priest of Vitras?” Kari said.
“I had always worshipped Vitras, even as a child. Then, to give death to my enemies was all that I thought of. I knew death was never distant, not in this city, though as you said the other gods can seem far away. I dreamed of the souls I would send to Vitras for judgement, never realising that I would be judged myself. But I tell you now that life is a gift, because Vitras gave me time - time to change my ways. It may be that in showing the path of virtue to others and in giving help to those who need it most I can atone for the horrors I have committed.”
“Priests are immune to feud.” Fatima added. “It is the way of this land. “Our way” as you say. By giving his life to Vitras Eirik bought time for himself.”
“Where is the justice in that? Criminals need to be punished.” Kari said coldly. “You gave no mercy to your victims, why should Vitras have mercy on you?”
“My hope is that Vitras can see that I was… misled… by my rage and by my fears. Only now have I mastered them and become the man I want to be. Before I thought only of giving death to others. Money and power were the tools I had to avenge myself on the world. I saw that there was more to life than vengeance, but I felt cursed to carry out my destiny. I saw where the path ended and I feared it. Only now have I made my peace with death. It is my hope that, if I am fit to meet Vitras and drink in his shining hall, I shall be allowed to do so. And if I am not, if my crimes were too great, at least I have given something back to a world that I have taken so much from.”
“You took everything from your victims. Why should Vitras have given you time?” Kari’s words were ice.
“All things go to Vitras in time. I have not stolen my life from him. I know I will go to him eventually; death cannot be cheated. It is my hope that he will see me as I am now, for only now have I found myself.”
“Eirik’s change has astonished me,” Fatima added. “I will never forgive him, but now I respect him.”
Kari said nothing for a moment but some of the ice came out of his glare. “You truly believe he has changed?” he asked Fatima.
“I do. That is why I stay here and serve as a doctor to his boys and the townsfolk,” Fatima said. “Not that my homeland has left me with any lingering fondness.”
“You must tell me of your homeland one day.” Kari said. “I have never met a Murian before.”
“I may do so. Eirik, you may leave us now.”
Eirik bowed slightly and left, visibly drained.
“Do you see these leaves?” Fatima took a sprig from the unopened one of her pots and held it up.
Kari reached out and took the sprig from her, sniffed it. “That’s vanmattas. It goes on bruises.”
"Go out and find me enough to fit in two hands."
Perhaps Fatima could use this boy after all.