(no subject)
life has been different lately. nothing like it used to be, but in a definitely good way. my group of friends is continually expanding, and finding interesting things about new people is incredible. i never thought i liked meeting new people, but i think it's time i reverse that decision. i also think that my problem of judging too quickly is on its way to being thrown out the window. the preconceptions (is that a word) of people that i had a few years ago and the way they turned out to be once i got to know them are vastly different, and i am ashamed of myself for making such quick judgments. however, there are some people that are continually disappointing me. i guess the problem is that i really don't relate well to others. i do not understand what goes through their heads and why they do the things they do. the things some of my best friends do are so ridiculous to me.. and so normal for them.. that i can't figure it out. i guess i'm just a different thinker. anyways, i have about a month left of high school and it's such a cool feeling. it's really nice to just realize that now is the time to live it up while i can, and i am taking advantage of that for sure. i stay up later, sleep in longer, and party harder than i used to because i know that i will remember these times very fondly. i've been spending disturbing amounts of time with my best friends, more specifically beth and abby, but it feels nice. i like having sleepovers, especially with them, because we have gotten to the point where we really honestly can say anything and not feel embarrassed or ashamed. it's cool to have friends like that, because my family has never really been like that. i've always been so reserved around my family, afraid to say what i think in fear of being ostracized, that i have definitely found comfort in my group of friends. and life is so much nicer when the sun is out, you know? it just makes the day actually seem tolerable. and the promise of years in colorado.. where it's gorgeous all the time and i get to experience all this new stuff and be scared shitless and have so much fun... that is such a cool feeling. but first i get to go through all the fun parts of the end of high school. i get to go to graduation, and then have a summer with my friends so i can keep being in love with them and take pictures and laugh and stay up all night... cuz that's what it's all about right now. and then next year i get to decide what my life is really holding for me. and it's so cool that i get to decide what happens from here on out. i just hope i can handle it. so all in all, i'm fully aware that these are the best days thusfar and with the exception of a few classes, they have proven to be just that.