(no subject)
well this guy that i like( let's called him 'B' ) asked me to go to the movies with him.
that should sound like good news right?
wrong...
i was also on the phone with my friend( let's call her 'R' ), and she told me to go onto her account and read their conversation.
so i went on her account, and as i read the message.
B said something about me going so R could go.
'cause i guess her dad won't let her go with B.
like.. just them two together.
so i got hella pissed off.
because it seems like he only wanted me to go so R could go.
[btw, they like each other.]
so after i read the message i went back on my account
and i messaged B. i was like, "EFF IT ALL!"
but after i did that, i felt so bad.
so i was in the middle of texting him and my phone rings as i'm typing the text...
and what do yah know?
it's B.
and this is the message i get,
"Alex im sorry i didnt mean to hurt your feelings and make you feel
bad i really value our friendship and i dont want it to
end over something stupid [BMX]"
i said as in a reply,
"i was just about to text you
and say sorry.
i felt like such a douche.
i'm sorry.."
as i sent the text.
something poped into my head.
your wrong, he's not like D( this one guy i liked last year )
they are very different. B actually said sorry.
D didn't. your wrong..
they aren't the same.
nor is the situation. the only similarity
is that you got hurt..
stop trying to blame this on yourself.
on B or D. it's no ones fault.
my subconscious was right, it was no ones fault.
and i do still feel like a douche.
i just wish i didn't tell him that i liked him.
but i was actually proud of myself when i did it.
but now, i completely regret it..
ugh. things are just circling in my head.
my subconscious is battling myself.
no it's not.
yes it is.
not it's not.
yes it is.
( i may sound like a lune, but who cares! )
i just want to say i'm really sorry.
forgive me?