If I ever got married, I would kidnap Stephin Merritt and force him to play "The Book of Love," like in the Mountain Goats song when they have to play for their abductors. That ended up sounding creepier than it did in my head? But anyway, in case you're not familiar:
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZXXOHXSEhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYCzDhaRV60 Weeeerrrrrrd.