Book Review: Artemis Fowl and the Time Paradox
In the interest of full disclosure, I am a big Eoin Colfer fan. Big. I actually adore the Artemis Fowl series far, far more than the Harry Potter series. But I'm not in fandom for AF for a couple of reasons (namely, I can scarcely find it and I really don't need it as I'm mostly content with canon). In any event, I was very excited for AF and the Time Paradox. And I did enjoy it. But this latest installment was rather disappointing for me.
For starters, this book didn't feel like it grew organically out of the previous book. An Artemis/Minerva relationship (be it romantic or platonic) was clearly set up in The Lost Colony, yet Minerva isn't even mentioned in this book at all. We only get to see his toddler twin brothers very, very briefly (they're totally adorable). I had no clue what time of year it was but I assume it was summer since no mention of Artemis being out of school on holiday or leave or whatever was mentioned. Finally, several of the characters, even the ones that had only been introduced in the previous book, didn't seem like themselves. They didn't sound like themselves. This is especially true of Butler and Foaly. In a significant way, this book is a huge disappointment because Colfer has never disappointed me before and these were such avoidable oversights.
Then there's the Artemis/Holly pairing that we get. In a fit of relief and joy, a de-aged Holly kisses Artemis after his continued well-being is confirmed. A big damn deal is made about this kiss and it felt totally uncalled for. Apparently, I'm one of the few people who doesn't ship them together (at least according to what little AF fandom I could find; internet savvy, I'm not). Truthfully, Artemis/Holly squicks the hell out of me. It's like a 30-something-year-old teacher hooking up with her adolescent student. Artemis is intelligent and mature for his age but he's still a kid without a lot of practical interpersonal experience and I hardly think that a fairy that's literally older than his parents and mentally and emotionally 20 years his senior is a good choice for his first romance. That doesn't even account for the fact that they are of vastly different species. Not races, religions, or nationalities, all of which can be worked through. Nor is the magic thing really an issue. But the difference in their species, the fact that fairies age and apparently mature slower than humans; the fact that Holly probably could not make a life for herself aboveground as a human; the fact that she looks like a humanoid, but not human, child; and the distinct possibility that, regardless of everything else, this is not a (romantic) love for the ages, just really puts me off of this pairing. I don't see the point of potentially screwing up, what until now, has been a really strong friend-/mentorship between the two for a romance that wouldn't work out on so many levels. At least with Minerva, who's now Artemis' age since he lost three years in the previous book, there wasn't a well-established relationship to upset. It could have been new and fresh and a learning experience for Artemis as well as socially and age appropriate. But then, I really don't care for cross-gen either, so this is all a matter of preference on my part.
Despite all of this, I still liked the plot. It was confusing and didn't entirely make sense, but it does present a time paradox, so I'm cool with that. What I really liked about the plot, though, is that it reinforces a number of things about Artemis. It remained the reader of how Artemis used to be: ruthless, selfish, cocky, and way too smart for his own good. We're also shown that Artemis, even as a ruthless 10-year-old, had a conscience (he just chose to suppress it), and a fierce love for and loyalty to his family. Young Artemis is willing to do anything for his parents. And so is Artemis the Elder. Yet the contemporary Artemis has grown into someone who can't suppress his conscience. He's become someone who ultimately tries to do the right thing but isn't above a little personal gain if it comes his way. The book also serves as an explanation story as it shows us what inspired Artemis to take the steps that led to the first book. Still, while all of this is entertaining, it's also unnecessary. The Lost Colony clearly shows that Artemis has changed from the boy he was in a very positive way (the whole premise was that Artemis was trying to prevent a war between humans and the People, which is a humanitarian effort more than a personal gain one) but that he'll still take advantage if the opportunity appears (stealing a bit of magic in the time stream). The Time Paradox simply reiterates this and specifically shows that his conscience works on the personal level, too.
Overall, I give Artemis Fowl and the Time Paradox three stars as it is entertaining and I enjoyed the premise but the not-quite-right characterization, the inorganic flow from the previous book, and contrived angst over a spontaneous kiss that didn't strike me as shipperific until the repeated mentioning of it didn't do the story any favors. The first five are much better.