Update!
I've been meaning to update for a while now but I've always been lazy when it came to my journal so, yeah.
Anyway, I turned 30 on May 25th. My birthday was good. I went to church and, aside from the apparently mandatory hugging of complete strangers (what is that about, really?), I really liked it and will try to go to that one again. Then my mom gave me my gift from her which she'd been wanting to give me since she got it a couple days before. It was jewelry. Real jewelry. An amethyst and diamond ring, to be exact. Though it's not something I would have chosen myself, it's still really nice and I own my first piece of real jewelry ever. Which is precisely why I haven't worn it because I'm prone to losing such things, but still. Then my mom, Lil Sis, and I went to breakfast. I got reprimanded by the hostess (didn't realize there was a hostess until after my faux pas) for trying to be nice to some people who seemed to waiting outside unnecessarily. But whatever, breakfast was nice if kind of disappointing (I should have gotten an omelet). Then I think there was a very short nap followed by Lil Sis giving me her gift (new headphones that won't drive me crazy, yay!) and then braving the strong Georgia heat and taking Lil Sis to her walking tour of the music buildings at GSU (she's going to be playing in their orchestra during her senior year of HS). After that was pizza and soda because I was too tired to do the whole dinner thing (and because gas is too high to go all the way across town to do it). All in all, I had a good, normal, pleasant day with no major castastrophes unless some birthdays past).
In other news,
I'm not sure I'm taking the whole ex-friend thing very well. I've almost completely withdrawn at work which I know the others have noticed even if they haven't come right out and asked me about it. I've taken to drowning everyone else out with my new headphones and a never-ending series of library-procured audiobooks because I really just don't want to hear her voice. I don't want to participate in any conversation in which she is participating. I don't want to look at her. Even the sight of her handwriting pisses me off. My mother thinks that she ended the friendship for reasons other than what she said and wasn't woman enough to tell me the truth. It also pisses me off that it was such a sudden and unilateral decision that seriously affects our functionally codependent working relationship. *sigh* I don't want to rehash it, but it makes me really sad and angry and really unhappy and, if it were for the flexible spending health plan I signed up for, I'd be actively look for another job.
Finally, I think we've decided to move to Boston. My mom is on dialysis and living in Georgia is not good or helpful for the disabled but living in Boston is so much better for her. Also, Lil Sis is planning on going to college in Boston next year (not that we're unwilling to let her go her own way, let me tell you) so, if we're there, she'll be guaranteed a support base even if we mostly leave her to her own devices. As for me, I think a change of scenery would be good for me. I've wanted to leave the South since I was eighteen. Now, or rather next year, would be a good time for me, especially since I have no intention of leaving my mom alone until I'm confident she is well enough to take care of herself and work. There's also the hope that maybe moving will help me come out of myself more. Anyway, it's a plan in its infant stage.
Well, that's it for now. Hope everyone else is doing well.
Anyway, I turned 30 on May 25th. My birthday was good. I went to church and, aside from the apparently mandatory hugging of complete strangers (what is that about, really?), I really liked it and will try to go to that one again. Then my mom gave me my gift from her which she'd been wanting to give me since she got it a couple days before. It was jewelry. Real jewelry. An amethyst and diamond ring, to be exact. Though it's not something I would have chosen myself, it's still really nice and I own my first piece of real jewelry ever. Which is precisely why I haven't worn it because I'm prone to losing such things, but still. Then my mom, Lil Sis, and I went to breakfast. I got reprimanded by the hostess (didn't realize there was a hostess until after my faux pas) for trying to be nice to some people who seemed to waiting outside unnecessarily. But whatever, breakfast was nice if kind of disappointing (I should have gotten an omelet). Then I think there was a very short nap followed by Lil Sis giving me her gift (new headphones that won't drive me crazy, yay!) and then braving the strong Georgia heat and taking Lil Sis to her walking tour of the music buildings at GSU (she's going to be playing in their orchestra during her senior year of HS). After that was pizza and soda because I was too tired to do the whole dinner thing (and because gas is too high to go all the way across town to do it). All in all, I had a good, normal, pleasant day with no major castastrophes unless some birthdays past).
In other news,
I'm not sure I'm taking the whole ex-friend thing very well. I've almost completely withdrawn at work which I know the others have noticed even if they haven't come right out and asked me about it. I've taken to drowning everyone else out with my new headphones and a never-ending series of library-procured audiobooks because I really just don't want to hear her voice. I don't want to participate in any conversation in which she is participating. I don't want to look at her. Even the sight of her handwriting pisses me off. My mother thinks that she ended the friendship for reasons other than what she said and wasn't woman enough to tell me the truth. It also pisses me off that it was such a sudden and unilateral decision that seriously affects our functionally codependent working relationship. *sigh* I don't want to rehash it, but it makes me really sad and angry and really unhappy and, if it were for the flexible spending health plan I signed up for, I'd be actively look for another job.
Finally, I think we've decided to move to Boston. My mom is on dialysis and living in Georgia is not good or helpful for the disabled but living in Boston is so much better for her. Also, Lil Sis is planning on going to college in Boston next year (not that we're unwilling to let her go her own way, let me tell you) so, if we're there, she'll be guaranteed a support base even if we mostly leave her to her own devices. As for me, I think a change of scenery would be good for me. I've wanted to leave the South since I was eighteen. Now, or rather next year, would be a good time for me, especially since I have no intention of leaving my mom alone until I'm confident she is well enough to take care of herself and work. There's also the hope that maybe moving will help me come out of myself more. Anyway, it's a plan in its infant stage.
Well, that's it for now. Hope everyone else is doing well.