Perfect Timing 15/? FRM (language)/FRAO overall
Phil eyed the mall warily, "How did we get talked into doing this again?"
"We, by which I mean you, agreed that sure, we'd love to handle Christmas shopping despite we, by which I mean I, frantically waving my hands and mouthing no at you." Jim said dryly. "You have met Martha Wayne, yes? So tall," Jim held up a hand, "gorgeous, rich and possessed of the wiles of Cleopatra."
"I thought she meant some nice charity thing, or, you know, giving puppies away, not this." Phil glared at Jim. "You could have stopped me."
"What? By jumping up and down?" Jim replied. "This is all on you, doc. All on you."
"You're so kind to me in my hour of despair," Phil took a sip of coffee, making a face. "This is awful."
"That's what you get for not listening to me and getting some from the gas station. Now, shut up and help me find them." Jim stretched up, trying to see through the crowd. "We took our eyes off of them for two seconds."
"I told you we should put leashes on them but nooooo." Phil leaned in the opposite direction. "Seriously, where did they go?"
"You're the one who gave them sugar, yet more proof that this is all your fault." Jim tried to work his way over to the railing.
"Yeah, well, you're the one who tracks down missing people on a daily basis, so, obviously, it's your fault that we lost them." Phil held up a hand when Jim stared at him. "No, I don't know how that follows either but give me that."
"Fine." Jim finally reached the railing. He leaned over, scanning the mass of people below them. "This is ridiculous."
"It really is." Phil placed his hand on Jim's back, rubbing a little. "We'll find them."
"We better, I'm not up to explaining to Martha how we managed to lose her son." Jim scanned the stores again. "Oh for fuck's sake, we're idiots."
"You maybe," Phil said, grinning when Jim jabbed an elbow into his ribs. "Okay, okay, what?"
Jim pointed to the other side of the mall. "Bookstore."
"Fuck, we're idiots." Phil tossed back the rest of his coffee and then threw the cup into a trash can. "I'll go left, you go right?"
"Sounds like a plan." Jim pushed his glasses back up. "I should have brought a tazer."
"Yeah, that's exactly the press you need. 'Billionaire's son electrocuted while reading classics.' The Mayor will love that." Phil started making his way determinedly through the crowd. "You are getting me drunk tonight."
"You're on call, remember? But I'll let you watch me get drunk." Jim held onto the sleeve of Phil's jacket as they fought their way through the crowd.
"That helps me how? Excuse me." Phil tried to duck around the gaggle of strollers ahead of them.
"Well," Jim leaned in, using the crowd as an excuse to press against Phil's back. "If you recall, I tend to be amenable to your suggestions about alternate uses for my handcuffs when drunk."
Phil stopped and Jim smacked into his back. "That is so not fair to say when we're in public."
"Consider this payback for showing up at the station in scrubs last week." Jim gave him a push. "Come on, we have to get them out of there before they buy the store."
"It's frightening that you mean that literally." Phil managed to weave them through, then turned and grinned at Jim in victory. "I should be a sherpa."
"I thought you were morally opposed to doing things outside." Jim glanced around the store. "Okay, time to flank them."
"That sounds so wrong." Phil ducked out of the way. "Fine, fine, but you get to deal with the whining when we make them go."
"Deal." Jim started down the aisle, trying to decide the best place to start. Probably military history, Bruce was on some weird kick about it lately. Jim was choosing not to think about it too much. If Bruce was seriously intent on taking over the world, well, he'd deal with it later. He turned a corner and there was Bruce, sitting on the floor, stacks of books surrounding him. Jim blinked hard. He forgot sometimes how tall Bruce was getting to be.
"I thought we agreed that you and Trent wouldn't take off without telling us where you were going?" Jim folded his arms, leaning against the shelves.
"Jim!" Bruce's head whipped up. "What? I thought we told you, I mean, I know I said," Bruce frowned thinking and Jim stared down over his glasses at him. "Well fuck."
"Language." Jim fought to keep from smiling.
Bruce snorted. "I've heard you and Dad talking, you know. I know you say stuff like that."
"Privilege of being a grown up, one of the few." Jim gestured at the books. "You cannot possibly be planning on buying all of those. Weren't you complaining last night about how much school work you have and how you don't have any free time and how you were being, what was it, worked into an early grave?"
"Yeah, but it's vacation, I can finish," Bruce glanced at the stacks, "most of these. A good part. Some. Maybe this one?" He held up the one he was reading and Jim laughed.
"Fine, that one. And a couple more, but that's it." Jim slid down to sit on the floor facing Bruce. "What is it with you and military history lately?"
"I don't know," Bruce shrugged. "It's interesting. I like learning about the different strategies used and the intelligence stuff and how even the largest army is vulnerable to attack from a knowledgeable small group. It's funny, you'd think with all the technological changes that the strategies would be completely different but that's not the case."
Jim smiled as Bruce launched into a lecture about the similarities between World War I trench warfare and Greek battle plans. It never failed to amaze him just how smart Bruce was, let alone how he remembered all that he did. He nodded at the appropriate places, grinning harder when Bruce leaned forward, showing him the passage he was trying to dispute. "So that's the book you're getting?"
"What? Oh." Bruce flushed. "Sorry, sorry, I got carried away again."
"Just a little bit." Jim held his fingers apart. "Come on, we need to hunt down Trent and Phil before Trent completes Phil's descent into comic geek hell."
Bruce snorted. "It's your fault, you're the one who let Trent tell him all, and I do mean all, about Superman."
"I was trying to be nice to your friend." Jim said haughtily. Bruce laughed at that and Jim poked him with his foot. "Be polite to your elders."
"Oh, I'm being polite." Bruce pushed up. "So. Um. Can I ask you something?"
"Sure." Jim staggered up as well, rubbing at his knee. Bruce shot him a worried look and Jim waved a hand. "I'm fine, it's the cold is all."
"Yeah." Bruce bit his lip. "Um. You and Phil. It's, is it," Bruce looked at the floor and Jim could just see the flush on his cheeks. "I know I'm not supposed to ask but."
"Do you want to know if he's my boyfriend?" Jim kept his voice pitched low enough for only Bruce to hear. Bruce nodded slowly. "Yes, yes, he is."
"Yeah? Is he, you like him, right?" Bruce rolled his eyes. "I mean obviously, you wouldn't be with someone you hated."
"I would hope not." Jim watched Bruce carefully. "It doesn't bother you?"
"Why would it bother me?" Bruce bent to gather up the books, carefully not looking at Jim. "It's not wrong."
"A lot of people think it is." Jim replied.
"A lot of people are fucking idiots and don't yell at me, that's deserved." Bruce put a few books back. "I'm getting most of these for Dad for Christmas."
"How noble of you to give gifts you can borrow." Jim reached out, taking a few from Bruce. "Not these. Six is enough." He ignored Bruce's attempt at puppy dog eyes. "I'm immune to that now."
"Sure you are. That's why you let us use the sirens the other night." Bruce tucked the books under his arm. "Can I ask you something else?"
"Oh, you're not done with the interrogation?" Jim raised an eyebrow. "Go ahead."
"So, well, how did you know that you, um, you know," Bruce glanced towards the back of the store. "Liked guys?"
Jim looked at Bruce closely. "Is there something you want to tell me?"
"What, no! No, I don't, it's not, I mean," Bruce stopped, closing his eyes tightly. "Not here anyway."
"Okay." Jim squeezed his shoulder. "If there's ever anything you do want to talk about, you can tell me, you know that."
"I know. It's, I don't know. Confusing." Bruce smiled a little at him. "Also really really annoying."
That made Jim laugh hard. "Trust me, Bruce, every relationship is that way. Every single one."
"Every what?" Trent poked his head around the end of the aisle. "Oh my God, Bruce, you are the biggest dork on the planet."
"I am not! And that's rich coming from someone who just bought an entire run of," Bruce grabbed at Trent's shopping bag, "Oh. My. God. Veronica? Seriously, Veronica?"
"It's for my cousin! It is! You suck!" Trent shoved at Bruce's shoulder. "Stop laughing!"
"No, no, that's great, it's sweet and I bet you're only going to read them to see that they aren't damaged." Bruce danced back, trying to avoid Trent swinging the bag at him. They headed for the front to check out, Bruce making fun of Trent the whole way.
"Well, now, that's interesting." Phil slung an arm around Jim's shoulders.
"What?" Jim resisted the urge to lean into Phil. "And do not think you can hide that bag. I don't even want to know how much money you spent. Geek boy."
"Shut up. And them." Phil nodded with his chin. "Did you know Trent's staying with the Waynes for Christmas?"
"His parents abandoning him again, then." Jim shook his head. "I do not understand that."
Phil smiled slightly. "I think you do."
"Don't start with that again." Jim said. "We're never going to agree on that."
"Fine, fine. But that's not what I meant." Phil gestured slightly and Jim looked over to where Bruce and Trent stood in line. They were completely focused on each other, Bruce beaming at something Trent said. They were standing just a bit too close, even considering the crush of people around them. "Look familiar?"
"Maybe." Jim admitted. "I'm not sure Bruce really understands what he's feeling."
"Did you?" Phil shrugged. "He'll struggle through it in his own time."
"That's what I'm worried about." Jim took off his glasses, rubbing at his eyes. "I don't want him to have to go through that."
"I know," Phil said softly. "But look at it this way, he'll have you and his parents. Hell, he's got us as an example, that's more than a lot of kids get."
"Great example I am," Jim muttered. "Great example on how to hide."
"We really really aren't going to have this conversation again. It's not hiding, it's being discreet, that's different." Phil gave his shoulder a squeeze. "If we were hiding, you wouldn't let me do that and we wouldn't have been dragooned into overseeing two teenagers Christmas shopping and that is so not my fault in any way and I wouldn't be your date to the big huge Christmas party I'm dragging you to at work."
"Dragooned? Really? Dragooned? Did you get into the word a day calendars?" Jim shot Phil a glare. "What Christmas party?"
"The one next week that I'm telling you about right now." Phil gave Jim a slight push. "You better get over there, they just discovered the chocolate display."
"That'll end well." Jim headed towards the counter. "What makes you think I'm going with you?"
Phil leaned in, whispering in his ear "Because you love what me seeing you in a tux does to me."
Jim glared at him over his shoulder. "Stop it. We're in public."
"Yeah." Phil smirked. "I know. I like seeing you rattled, cop."
"You're worse than them." Jim smiled though. "Come on, doc, the sooner we get them out of here, the sooner we can get back to your place."
"Now you're talking." Phil strode forward, an intent look in his eye. "Besides, I want one of those hazelnut bars."
Jim looked upwards, "Whatever I did to deserve this, I'm sorry."
I probably shouldn't say this, but this is my favorite bit.