Chapter 10
He growled and turned to attack his adversary, when the passion that blinded his eyes cleared, he was holding Margaret up against the wall.
His teeth were out and he was growling at her like a monster.
Her feelings came washing out at him. Fear, hate, anger and jealousy and it was like having a bucket of cold water thrown over him.
He released her and stood panting. His body coming back under control incrementally by moments.
“What the hell are you doing?” Elena demanded. Rising off the bed and straightening her dress, she stood in front of Margaret and confronted her. Through his superior vision he could see the blood washing though her in anger and she burned like a bonfire. A bonfire he wanted to burn himself in. He turned away trying to breathe and shut it all back down.
“I’m saving you, you little idiot.” Margaret yelled back at her. “You don’t have any idea what you’re doing. He’s dangerous and you should never be left alone with him! You shouldn’t even be in this house!”
“He wants me here and I have every right to be here!” Elena countered. “And why do you care so much? I thought you were married and had babies of your own so why the hell are you jealous?”
“I am not jealous!” Margaret yelled louder than ever.
“Then why are you yelling?” Elena suddenly spoke in a completely calm voice.
Byron looked at the two of them and was fascinated by what he saw.
Elena had perceived finally what it was that made Margaret so hostile. She loved Byron. It was in everything she did. Why she seemed to hate him but still stayed.
“When were you two lovers?” Elena asked, suddenly sure of the history between them.
“Be kind, Elena.” Byron requested. He could feel Margaret’s pain across the room through the link they shared.
“No, I can’t be kind. She isn’t kind to me. And as I told you Byron, I am not a victim.”
Which implied that he was.
“I’m glad you interrupted us, Margaret. Elena is going to go to school in the city and it will be hard for her to leave if we had… become closer to one another.”
Elena turned on him.
“Get out!”
“What?”
“Get out of my room!”
And too late he once again perceived his error. She made herself vulnerable for him. Let him in when she kept others out. Let him know that she wanted him and needed him. And he had spurned her, and none to gently.
He sighed, and was surprised at the ache in his chest when he saw the hurt reflected in her eyes. Perhaps his real curse was to always hurt the ones he loved.
“Come on Margaret, let’s go.”
Margaret rushed out of the room before him and he walked slowly to the door. When he got there he turned back to look at Elena. To perhaps say something to fix what was now broken between them.
He could feel it. Like there was some mechanical device that was their relationship and it had a part that was broken. The noise it made in his head was loud and the reverberations of the faulty running of the machine hurt him physically. For the first time since he was human he felt as though he might be sick.
“Elena…” He began.
But when she turned to look at him saw the raw damage he had done and was too much to bear. He couldn’t look at it. So he turned like the coward he was and left.
Elena left for school a week later. She wouldn’t see him and she didn’t tell him goodbye. He had gone out to the car to see her off and she acted as if he wasn’t there, but there were tears running down her cheeks.
It was strange that leaving was like going to a funeral. She was supposed to be going to something she had wanted all her life, going to the girl’s school in Brooklyn, where women could get a real education. Few colleges accepted women, let alone were all girls, but there were more all the time. She should be thinking of all the wonder in her future. She loved to learn. But all she could think about was that she was leaving her heart behind.
She wondered if she really was just a child and that this infatuation wasn’t real. He seemed to think that was the case, but she ached for Byron, as the miles fell behind her, not just for the touch of his body, but his companionship. She felt relaxed around him like with no one else. It was like he was another part of her and she didn’t need to be on guard with him. He had seemed to accept everything that she was. Had been like a salve to her hurt. Until he had hurt her worse than anyone had ever done before.
How could he have become so much to her in so little time? Why was it that he had that power over her? She should hate him. He made her the one thing he couldn’t stand, a victim. But it was her own emotions that made her that way, and truly it wasn’t his fault.
She sighed. In a way she had been as mean to him as he had been to her. He clearly did feel something too and she decided to write to him when she got to the school
The Murphy farm was in Upstate New York, which was ten hours by car to the city. It was always The City to her. It was a place where the rapidly growing skyscrapers were magical glittering temples that caught at her imagination. They were somehow less beautiful to her that day as Alex drove her through the gloomy streets. They were merely passing through them, however, and they went across another bridge to Brooklyn where her new home was.
The school was all brick buildings. Three of them lined up around a round courtyard through which the drive made a circle. Alex came to a stop in front of the middle building and turned off the car.
Elena opened the door after a moment of hesitation to see what this new life would offer her.
She shared her room with three other girls. It was a dormitory behind the main buildings, fairly old but well taken care of. She soon found out that she was joining the semester late, but that the teachers would be more than delighted to help her catch up.
She spent the remainder of the day trying to gain her bearings, even making a friend of one of the girls in her room who was kind enough to spend the evening taking her to all the rooms of her five classes. It was Sunday and they had the day off to worship, study, or lounge around as they saw fit. Elena made good use of it. Planning what she would do the next day.
When it was lights out, she lit the small lamp beside her bed and sat down to write Byron.
Dear Byron,
Forgive me for hurting so. It was unkind of me to leave the way I did and I understand why you sent me away. It doesn’t mean that I approve, of course, and I am still angry with you about it, but it hurts me to think that we are conflicted like this. Let me know that you are well and that it is possible for us to make amends with each other. You mean too much to me to give you up so easily.
With Love, Elena
She cried a little when she sealed it, but it would be impossible to continue knowing that they were so harshly separated. She didn’t want to be responsible for his suffering, and if he could tell her at least that those soft feelings were still requited, it would make their separation easier for her to bear.
But there was no letter a week later. Nor a month neither.
The days bore on, and though she did well in her classes and enjoyed the exercise of thought, she slept less and less as her anguish grew.
How could he have not forgiven her? And then one day, she felt so tired and as she was walking back to class, she coughed.
It proceeded quickly. She was in the hospital near the little school in two days. They wrote to her family but no one came. She was desolate, and she was dying. Elena was hard pressed to decide which hurt her more, her heart or her lungs.
She explained to the doctor before her delirium took her that the only one who might be able to help her was Dr. Edward Wilson who was her personal doctor, but the man in charge at the hospital had never heard of Penicillin and thought that the young girl couldn’t possibly know what she was talking about.
He did however think the girl ought not die alone, so he sent a messenger to her home to find out why this Murphy fellow wasn’t coming to be with his daughter.
His teeth were out and he was growling at her like a monster.
Her feelings came washing out at him. Fear, hate, anger and jealousy and it was like having a bucket of cold water thrown over him.
He released her and stood panting. His body coming back under control incrementally by moments.
“What the hell are you doing?” Elena demanded. Rising off the bed and straightening her dress, she stood in front of Margaret and confronted her. Through his superior vision he could see the blood washing though her in anger and she burned like a bonfire. A bonfire he wanted to burn himself in. He turned away trying to breathe and shut it all back down.
“I’m saving you, you little idiot.” Margaret yelled back at her. “You don’t have any idea what you’re doing. He’s dangerous and you should never be left alone with him! You shouldn’t even be in this house!”
“He wants me here and I have every right to be here!” Elena countered. “And why do you care so much? I thought you were married and had babies of your own so why the hell are you jealous?”
“I am not jealous!” Margaret yelled louder than ever.
“Then why are you yelling?” Elena suddenly spoke in a completely calm voice.
Byron looked at the two of them and was fascinated by what he saw.
Elena had perceived finally what it was that made Margaret so hostile. She loved Byron. It was in everything she did. Why she seemed to hate him but still stayed.
“When were you two lovers?” Elena asked, suddenly sure of the history between them.
“Be kind, Elena.” Byron requested. He could feel Margaret’s pain across the room through the link they shared.
“No, I can’t be kind. She isn’t kind to me. And as I told you Byron, I am not a victim.”
Which implied that he was.
“I’m glad you interrupted us, Margaret. Elena is going to go to school in the city and it will be hard for her to leave if we had… become closer to one another.”
Elena turned on him.
“Get out!”
“What?”
“Get out of my room!”
And too late he once again perceived his error. She made herself vulnerable for him. Let him in when she kept others out. Let him know that she wanted him and needed him. And he had spurned her, and none to gently.
He sighed, and was surprised at the ache in his chest when he saw the hurt reflected in her eyes. Perhaps his real curse was to always hurt the ones he loved.
“Come on Margaret, let’s go.”
Margaret rushed out of the room before him and he walked slowly to the door. When he got there he turned back to look at Elena. To perhaps say something to fix what was now broken between them.
He could feel it. Like there was some mechanical device that was their relationship and it had a part that was broken. The noise it made in his head was loud and the reverberations of the faulty running of the machine hurt him physically. For the first time since he was human he felt as though he might be sick.
“Elena…” He began.
But when she turned to look at him saw the raw damage he had done and was too much to bear. He couldn’t look at it. So he turned like the coward he was and left.
Elena left for school a week later. She wouldn’t see him and she didn’t tell him goodbye. He had gone out to the car to see her off and she acted as if he wasn’t there, but there were tears running down her cheeks.
It was strange that leaving was like going to a funeral. She was supposed to be going to something she had wanted all her life, going to the girl’s school in Brooklyn, where women could get a real education. Few colleges accepted women, let alone were all girls, but there were more all the time. She should be thinking of all the wonder in her future. She loved to learn. But all she could think about was that she was leaving her heart behind.
She wondered if she really was just a child and that this infatuation wasn’t real. He seemed to think that was the case, but she ached for Byron, as the miles fell behind her, not just for the touch of his body, but his companionship. She felt relaxed around him like with no one else. It was like he was another part of her and she didn’t need to be on guard with him. He had seemed to accept everything that she was. Had been like a salve to her hurt. Until he had hurt her worse than anyone had ever done before.
How could he have become so much to her in so little time? Why was it that he had that power over her? She should hate him. He made her the one thing he couldn’t stand, a victim. But it was her own emotions that made her that way, and truly it wasn’t his fault.
She sighed. In a way she had been as mean to him as he had been to her. He clearly did feel something too and she decided to write to him when she got to the school
The Murphy farm was in Upstate New York, which was ten hours by car to the city. It was always The City to her. It was a place where the rapidly growing skyscrapers were magical glittering temples that caught at her imagination. They were somehow less beautiful to her that day as Alex drove her through the gloomy streets. They were merely passing through them, however, and they went across another bridge to Brooklyn where her new home was.
The school was all brick buildings. Three of them lined up around a round courtyard through which the drive made a circle. Alex came to a stop in front of the middle building and turned off the car.
Elena opened the door after a moment of hesitation to see what this new life would offer her.
She shared her room with three other girls. It was a dormitory behind the main buildings, fairly old but well taken care of. She soon found out that she was joining the semester late, but that the teachers would be more than delighted to help her catch up.
She spent the remainder of the day trying to gain her bearings, even making a friend of one of the girls in her room who was kind enough to spend the evening taking her to all the rooms of her five classes. It was Sunday and they had the day off to worship, study, or lounge around as they saw fit. Elena made good use of it. Planning what she would do the next day.
When it was lights out, she lit the small lamp beside her bed and sat down to write Byron.
Dear Byron,
Forgive me for hurting so. It was unkind of me to leave the way I did and I understand why you sent me away. It doesn’t mean that I approve, of course, and I am still angry with you about it, but it hurts me to think that we are conflicted like this. Let me know that you are well and that it is possible for us to make amends with each other. You mean too much to me to give you up so easily.
With Love, Elena
She cried a little when she sealed it, but it would be impossible to continue knowing that they were so harshly separated. She didn’t want to be responsible for his suffering, and if he could tell her at least that those soft feelings were still requited, it would make their separation easier for her to bear.
But there was no letter a week later. Nor a month neither.
The days bore on, and though she did well in her classes and enjoyed the exercise of thought, she slept less and less as her anguish grew.
How could he have not forgiven her? And then one day, she felt so tired and as she was walking back to class, she coughed.
It proceeded quickly. She was in the hospital near the little school in two days. They wrote to her family but no one came. She was desolate, and she was dying. Elena was hard pressed to decide which hurt her more, her heart or her lungs.
She explained to the doctor before her delirium took her that the only one who might be able to help her was Dr. Edward Wilson who was her personal doctor, but the man in charge at the hospital had never heard of Penicillin and thought that the young girl couldn’t possibly know what she was talking about.
He did however think the girl ought not die alone, so he sent a messenger to her home to find out why this Murphy fellow wasn’t coming to be with his daughter.